Hello hello! Over the past decade, I've tried a wide variety of teas that are fun, classic, and sometimes -- outright disgusting. However, during my tea exploration, there are a few teas that stick out as pinpoints in my journey that helped me understand tea better than I did before. Rather, if it was something completely unique, or something that opened my eyes as to the wide array of incredible things tea can be turned into, I believe that these teas should be tried by every tea drinker at least once in their tea journey. Let's dive in! Aged White Tea Did you know that white tea can be aged? Long before getting into tea, I didn't even know what white tea was, much less the ability to age it. However, since white tea is only mildly processed, the enzymes that react to light and oxygen are still active in the leaf -- thus causing it to slowly oxidize over time. Aged white tea is a relatively new sub-market in the tea industry, and only really became popular around 2010. Despite its newness, aged white tea is a true delight that every tea drinker should experience just once in their tea-drinking journey. Huang Pian Shou Puer First, you may be wondering: What is shou? What is huang pian? And lastly, what is puer?! While this requires a more complex answer, I'll give the bare-bones basic descriptions. Huang Pian is the large-leaf material at the base of a tea tree's branch, which is often not plucked for production. It's often used as a 'poor man's tea (so to speak). Shou puer is a type of dry-fermented tea that's dark in color and oxidized. Huang Pian shou puer is one of my favorite shou puer teas I've ever had, and it gives a lot of depth while being enjoyable. Every tea drinker should drink this tea because it's an expansive way to see how vast the world of shou puer is, while still being enjoyable. Kyobancha Kyobancha is a relatively unknown Japanese tea for most tea drinkers. Kyobancha is a type of roasted green tea from Kyoto, Japan, made from the larger, older leaves and stems that are harvested later in the season. But why is this on the list? I added this tea to the list because it's a wonderful example of how diverse Japanese teas can be -- outside of the classic staples. A Very Expensive Sheng Now, let me start by saying the term 'expensive' is very subjective. In my mind, a cake of sheng puer that's over $20 is considered expensive (or maybe I'm just poor? That too lol). However, when I say expensive, I mean somewhere in the $2-$4 a gram range. Why is this so important? This is important because some of the best teas in the world are sheng puer teas, and oftentimes, the really pricy ones can really elevate that experience. Award-Winning Tie Guan Yin Tie Guan Yin is one of China's most famous and well-known oolongs. However, because tie guan yin is so popular, there are many 'bad' ones out there. While the definition of 'bad' is entirely subjective to the beholder, I will say, I've seen many people say they dislike this Chinese staple because they have only tried a poorly-made version of it. While trying the award-winning Tie Guan Yin, you'll see how special this tea really is, and see where it originally garnered popularity. Tea-Stuffed Fruit Tea-stuffed fruit? I mean, I am stuffed with tea all of the time... Jokes aside, tea-stuffed fruits are not entirely common, but have slowly gained popularity over the past decade. More commonly, tea is stuffed in bitter oranges, and can easily be found across many tea shops. So why is a citrus-cented tea so important to one's tea journey? I'd argue it's important for any and all tea drinkers to experience this because not only is it an older Chinese tradition, it's a way to see how malleable and delicious naturally-scented teas can actually be. Tea-Stuffed Bamboo Tea-stuffed bamboo, you say? Yes, absolutely! Over the past 5 years, many smaller tea companies have begun producing tea-stuffed bamboo. In this process, many vendors have commissioned tea-stuff bamboo with white tea, sheng puer, and shou puer teas. The tea is roasted in the bamboo shoot, thus naturally scenting the tea with a bamboo aroma. But why is this important for tea drinkers to experience? Bamboo-stuffed teas are an oddity that also shows how malleable tea can be, and can help expand your knowledge of what tea is, and what it can do. High Mountain Taiwanese Oolong Tea Fun fact: High mountain Taiwanese oolongs are the exact reason why I'm named 'the oolong drunk'!! Specifically, AliShan Taiwanese Oolong was the tea that made me fall head-first for oolong teas. During my oolong exploration, I quickly became a tea-nerd, and became forever obsessed with tea and tea culture. Taiwanese high-mountain oolongs can be pricy, but they're some of the best teas in the world and are completely worth it. Tea from America Did you know tea can actually be grown in all 6 continents -- Europe being the 7th that can't grow it... Okay, sarcasm aside, tea can be grown in any warm and humid environment. Tea can be finicky to grow in many climates, and America doesn't have many geological areas that could sustain large-volume tea production. However, there are some small-scale farms in America that have successfully managed to grow tea in America. While some tea plantations can be found in Oregon, North Carolina, and Florida. However, where can you find the best American-grown tea? Arguably, I think Mississippi and Hawaii have the best American-grown teas that you can find. I think it's important for any tea drinker to try tea from Mississippi and Hawaii, to see how great American-grown tea can actually be. Tea from New Zealand Last but certainly not least, New Zealand tea! In New Zealand, there's a tea estate called Zealong, and they grow incredible tea, including oolong tea, white tea, and black tea. However, due to New Zealand's soil and climate, New Zealand teas are a wonderful treat for anyone who tries them. While it might be pricy, especially with shipping, I'd argue that New Zealand teas are more than worth the cost and provide an excellent tea drinking experience. ~ Did you see anyhting on my list that you agree with? Is there something missing that should be here? Join the conversation HERE on instagram! ~ Cody aka The Oolong Drunk "Blissfully Tea Drunk..."

Hello hello! Over the past decade, I've learned a LOT about tea. When starting out, I didn't know anything about tea outside of making Texas sweet tea. When learning that there's a universe of tea outside of a cup of sugar per gallon of sun-brewed tea, I came across many fascinating things that I never knew about tea. For my blog turning 10, I'll share with you my top 10 favorite tea facts that I've learned along the way! Let's dive in!! Matcha tea originated in China. It wasn't introduced into Japan until the 12th century, when matcha tea was brought to Japan in the year 1191, and originated from the Song Dynasty. It was initially consumed by Zen Buddhist monks and the nobility, but its use became more widespread over centuries due to its role in ceremonies and its health benefits. Afternoon tea originated from Catherine of Braganza in the mid-1600s. Catherine of Braganza was from Portugal and married King Charles of England, and brought tea to England with her. She threw parties and served tea with finger foods, and due to her popularity, commoners copied her. This became what we know as 'afternoon tea' today! The world's largest heist, and the world's largest act of espionage, was tea! Also known as The Great British Tea Heist, an English tradesman Robert Fortune worked as an undercover spy and travelled to China in the mid-1800s to learn the tea trade. Over the course of several years, he collected thousands of tea seeds and tea plants, and smuggled them back to British-controlled India. Before this point, China was the only country in the world that produced tea and kept the production of tea so secret that no one else could replicate it. Before, many considered tea as one of the natural wonders of the world. White tea has caffeine. Surprisingly, I've seen many people over the past decade claim that white tea has no caffeine content. However, white tea can have as much tea as any other tea type. Matcha isn’t the only tea powder out there. Tea powder can be made from all types of tea! Lately, 'tea powders' are increasing in popularity. Iced tea was popularised in St Louis, Missouri. Although iced tea wasn't a new idea, and goes back to the 1800s. However, it became popular when food vendor Richard Blechynden served it at the 1904 World's Fair in St. Louis. The weather was so hot that he threw a vat of ice into his tea and started selling it cold. The longest consecutive high tea in America is from Wenham Tea House in Wenham, MA, founded in 1912. The second-longest consecutive high tea in America is the Brown Palace High Tea in Denver, Colorado and began service in 1915. The popularity of the 'tea bag' was an accident. Around 1908, New York City tea merchant Thomas Sullivan would deliver tea samples in small mesh bags. However, to his surprise, customers were putting the entire bag into their mugs -- which gave birth to the innovative idea. Herbal tea is not tea; it’s called a ‘tisane’. It can only be classified as tea if it has Camellia Senses leaves. Puer tea was illegal in the US for 99 years until the Tea Importation Act of 1897 was abolished in April of 1996. It was originally enacted to help prevent the importation of tea that contained  fluoride, heavy metals, oxalate, and pesticides. However, the need for the act quickly faded when the United States enacted the FDA, Food and Drug Administration in 1938. The Board of Tea Appeals was a United States federal agency under the jurisdiction of the Food and Drug Administration. From its establishment in 1897 until its abolishment in 1996, it adjudicated the claims of tea importers whose products were denied entry into the United States by federal tea-tasters. ~ What is YOUR favoriet fun fact about tea? Continue the conversation HERE on instagram!! ~ Cody aka The Oolong Drunk "Blissfully Tea Drunk"

Hello hello! Colorado is known for its hiking, skiing, and beautiful winter towns. However, while visiting Colorado, you can also find incredible tea spots throughout the Denver/Northern Colorado metroplex. Rather if you're a seasoned tea expert or a casual tea drinker, all of these places offer a fun experience for everyone. Get ready to lock in the Mountain views with a cup of tea, and let's dive into some of the best tea places in all of Denver and Northern Colorado!! Let's dive in! (Photo by Trident Booksellers, Peter Jones) Name: High Tea at the Brown Palace Location/Address: 321 17th St, Denver, CO 80202 [ link ] Description: High Tea at the Brown Palace is the upper-echelon of high tea. The Brown Palace offers one of the country's longest consecutive high teas (beginning in the year 1915) and has offered a luxury experience ever since. Even if you're a tea purist, this is still one tea experience worth having. However, high tea reservations, especially for their Christmas high tea, can book out months in advance, so be sure to plan accordingly. Name:  Milk Tea People Location/Address:   1641 Market St #133, Denver, CO 80202 [ map ] Description:  Milk Tea People is a premier milk tea shop that's a block from Union Station. This must-have artisan milk tea is some of the best you'll find in all of Colorado, and will have you coming back for more. Name:  Trident Booksellers Location/Address:   940 Pearl St, Boulder, CO 80302 [ map ] Description:   Trident Booksellers is a Boulder staple and was the first coffee shop in Boulder to serve espresso. However, Trident is one of the only tea shops in the country that offers self-serving gong fu tea. They also source tea directly from farmers and carry all types of high-end tea throughout the year. This is a must-have for any and all tea lovers, as they have some of the best tea you can buy in the country, much less Colroado. Name:  Celestial Tea Factory Tour Location/Address:   4600 Sleepytime Dr, Boulder, CO 80301 [ link ] Description:   Did you know that Celestial Tea is located in Colorado? Did you also know that you can take a tour of their facility? Their famed tour takes you through the facility to get a first-hand look at what goes on behind the scenes in a tea factory, and ends with another tour of sorts at the gift shop. Although this isn't a tea shop, this is still one tea experience that all tea drinkers alike can enjoy. Name:  Yellow Mountain Tea House Location/Address:   2616 W Colorado Ave #21, Colorado Springs, CO 80904 [ map ] Description:   In Colorado Springs, you'll find this hidden gem of a tea shop. This tea shop has walls of tea you can choose from, and will be made for you in a tea service that also offers delicious food and snacks. Between the tea and the dumpling, anyone can find something they'd fall in love with. Name:  Happy Lucky Tea House Location/Address:   236 Walnut St, Fort Collins, CO 80524 [ map ] Description: Located in historic Old Town, this Fort Collins tea shop offers many incredible tea blends made in-house, as well as single-origin teas that'll make any tea drinker drool. To make things better, they have an incredible tea-ware section that's worth a double-take. ~ Have YOU been to any of the places listed above? Join the conversation HERE on instagram! ~Cody aka The Oolong Drunk "Blissfully Tea Drunk"

Hello hello!! With my blog’s 10-year anniversary coming up, I began to reflect on some of the best teas I’ve had over the years. Over the past 10 years, I’ve had a wide variety of teas from all over the world. While all of this is subjective, this is my list of the top-10 best teas I’ve had throughout my 10-year blogging journey! Criteria: For the criteria, I'll be ranking my top 10 best teas based on flavor profile, quality, drinkability, and memorability. Although most of the teas below are no longer available, they still stick out in my mind as some of the best. This list is entirely subjective. This list is completely unnecessary, except I like being authoritative and this is one of the healthier outlets for it. Honorable Mentions: Although they didn’t make the top 10, these teas are still notable and add to some of the best teas I’ve ever tasted. ~ 2015 Alter Ego, by Bitterleaf Teas ~ Alishan Jin Xuan High Mountain Oolong Tea, by Taiwan Tea Crafts ~ Black Magnolia Tea, by The Great Mississippi Tea Company ~ 2023 Zero Sum, by White2Tea ~ Simple Shou, by Crimson Lotus Tea In random order, below are my top-10 teas that I've had in the last decade! Tea: 2015 72 Hours Company: White2Tea ( link ) Why It Made My List: 72 Hours was gifted to me by a dear friend. This tea was nearly sold out when I received it, and it was my first experience with luxury puer tea. This tea was not only 3-dimensional to the taste buds, but it was the very first time I recognized that puer tea is the most complex tea type in the entire industry. This tea is legendary. Tea: 2015 Colbert Holland Company: White2Tea ( link ) Why It Made My List: The famed Colbert Holland made my list because this has got to be one of the best teas White2Tea has ever released. Not only was this tea flavorful and complex, but it was also smooth and easy to drink. I really wish this one would make a comeback. Tea: 2015 Brown Sugar Company: White2Tea ( link ) Why It Made My List: I have a history with this tea. When White2Tea initially released this tea, they described this tea as something that would taste like dates when it had aged to it. Despite never having shou puer before this point, I blind-ordered 3 bricks of this tea. When I received it in the mail, I tried it, and it tasted like fish and dirt. I was so disappointed, because I didn't expect it to taste like compost. I even trashed it in a review right after. So, I stuck all 3 bricks in my storage and forgot about them. Well, two years later, I rediscovered it in my storage and decided to try it again. To my surprise, it was rich, smooth, creamy, and sweet. I then did more research and discovered that when I initially tried it, it still had the wet-pile taste to it, and I needed to let it rest. I eventually took down my bad review of it and drank one entire brick in less than 1 month. To this day, no other shou puer has matched that flavor profile and has brought that much magic to my palate. Tea: 2016 Secret Garden Company: Bitterleaf Teas ( link ) Why It Made My List: This tea made my list because this tea had everything. This tea was juicy, creamy, fruity, and lightly floral. This tea was rich, but smooth and relaxing. I can't say I've had a sheng quite like this one before. This solidifed for me, being the tea that made me full-on fan boy of Bitterleaf Teas. Tea: 2018 NaKA Company: Bitterleaf Teas ( link ) Why It Made My List: NAKA!!! I don't usually talk about this tea often, but NaKa is my favorite village in China for sheng puer. There's something insanely magical about this tea, and it's something that everyone should drink once in their lifetime. Many companies carry versions of NaKa, but Bitterleaf Tea's consistently releases the cleanest and juiciest version of this tea -- more than any other company. Tea: 2017 Cloud 9 Company: Bitterleaf Teas (link for this tea doesn't exist anymore) Why It Made My List: Cloud 9 is a Huang Pian white tea. Huang Pian is the large-leaf material that's usually picked over during harvesting and is usually called a 'poor man's tea'. However, Bitterleaf Teas managed to obtain a white-tea version of this tea, and it was the smoothest and most airy white tea I've ever had. I've gone through 2 cakes of this already, and am savoring the last 2 cakes I have left of this. No other white tea is as addictive as this one. Tea: 2018 Honeymoon Company: Crimson Lotus Tea ( link) Why It Made My List: 2018 Honeymoon is so special to me, because this tea is the very first tea collaboration I've ever done with another company. I worked with Glen from Crimson Lotus Tea to create this tea blend, and I was very proud of the result. This tea has a higher price tag, but it is worth the price. Maybe it's the nostalgia factor for this tea and my involvement with it, for why I'm biased towards it? Either way, it's still one incredible tea. Tea: Aromatic Oolong Company: Zealong Tea ( link ) Why It Made My List: Zealong Tea is a New Zealand tea plantation, and around 8 years ago, they released a rolled oolong called 'Aromatic Oolong'. The tea was sweet, creamy, and full of flavor. It tasted very similar to a Taiwanese High Mountain Oolong, except, it had a stronger note of sugarcane that helped carry this tea forward. There's something awe-inspiring and magical about New Zealand-grown tea, and although they don't carry this particular one anymore, this tea still lingers in the back of my mind as a reminder of why I love oolongs so damn much. Tea: Hawaiian Green Tea Company: Mauna Tea ( link ) Why It Made My List: Hawaii is known for its Kona Coffee, but what about its tea? One of the best green teas I've ever had was Hawaiian Green Tea from Mauna Tea. This small tea plantation grows and processes a green tea that tastes naturally sweet and tropical, and opened my eyes as to how delectable and delicious green tea can be. This still stands out in my mind, and is something every tea drinker should try at least once. Tea: Competition Grade Tie Guan Yin from Gande Village Company: Yunnan Sourcing ( link ) Why It Made My List: This is the oolong of all oolongs. Tie Guan Yin has a hearty reputation as being one of the most popular oolong teas to come out of China. However, this particular version of it is the best that exists and is also one of the best oolong teas I've ever come across. With notes of sweet honeydew melon, sugar cane, and creme, this oolong is jaw-dropping, and makes it easy to fall in love with oolong teas. ~ Have YOU had any of the teas listed above? Join the conversation HERE on Instagram! ~Cody aka The Oolong Drunk " Blissfully Tea Drunk... "

Hello hello! Welcome to this year's annual list of the best albums to drink tea to! Over the past year, many artists have stepped up their game, as the music industry has had a better year in music compared to last year. With this, there have been many incredible works of art that pair well with tea to help with meditation and your overall well-being. However, this year's list is the most diverse list that I've released to date, with music genres that span the entire musical globe. With that being said, below are this year's best 30 albums to drink tea to! Note: The albums below may/may not be critically acclaimed, as this isn't a list for the best albums of 2025. This list is just for the vibes that carry emotion and help with tea and meditation. (Image: Album Cover Art, photo by Heji Shin for Virgin by Lorde, 2025, property of Universal Music New Zealand Limited) Top 30 30 Album: F*CK YOU SKRILLEX YOU THINK UR ANDY WARHOL BUT UR NOT!! <3 Artist: Skrillex Streaming: Apple Music / Spotify Tea Pairing: Fresh Sheng Puer, Black Tea, White Tea Description: Everyone's favorite middle-school artist is back with one hell of a EDM album that's more of a DJ setlist than anything. Skrillex's album is his absolute best work to date, and is a non-regrettable listen. For the EDM lovers out there, this album is a chaotic banger to sync tea time with. 29 Album: Addison Artist: Addison Rae Streaming: Apple Music / Spotify Tea Pairing: Shou Puer, White Tea, Oolong Tea Description: Tiktok and YouTube star Addison Rae dropped her debut album this past summer, and released an album that defied expectations. Addison's album is perfectly moody, as her Lana Del Rey-esque album sets a meditative aesthetic for your tea session. 28 Album:  Afterglow Artist:  St. Motel Streaming:   Apple Music   / Spotify Tea Pairing:  White tea, green oolong, puer tea Description:   A modern-take on indie pop-rock that's room filling, with heavy U2 influences, is a room-filling llush album that cuts like butter. This album will have you soaring in outerspace with your next teas session. 27 Album:   The Pyre Artist:  The Last Dinner Party Streaming:   Apple Music / Spotify Tea Pairing:   Rock Oolong Tea, Black Tea Description:  Alt-rock band The Pyre stuns with another consistent atmospheric album that's chill, cozy, and is smooth for any tea time. 26 Album:   I Don't Want to See You in Heaven Artist:  The Callous Daoboys Streaming:   Apple Music  / Spotify Tea Pairing:  Sheng puer, black tea, shou puer, rock oolong Description:  This experimental metal-bands album conjoins hard-rock, jazz, and electro elements that makes this heavy-handed metal album an emotional rollercoaster, while sounding new and fresh. Top 25 25 Album:   Pirouette Artist:  Model/Actriz Streaming :   Apple Music  / Spotify   Tea Pairing:  Black tea, dancong oolong, shou puer, sheng puer Description:   This experimental alternative-rock album is nothing short of an emotional journey. This album beautifully captures tension and build-up with consistency,and will you feeling emotionally spent by the end. While not being your typical alt rock album, this album's unconventional sound is what makes it shine. 24 Album:  EUSEXA AFTERGLOW Artist:  FKA Twigs Streaming:   Apple Music  / Spotify Tea Pairing:  Sheng Puer, White Tea, Shou Puer Description:   FKA Twigs released two albums this year. The first album is Eusexa, and the follow-up is called Eusexa Afterglow. While both albums are separate projects, AFTERFLOW is the more elevated and meditative counterpart. This laid-back soul-inspired electro dream-pop ascends to the clouds above, while elevating your next tea time. 23 Album:   Glory Artist:  Perfume Genius Streaming:   Apple Music  / Spotify Tea Pairing:  White tea, sheng puer, aged white tea Description:   Perfume Genius managed to release another career-defining masterpiece. This alt-rock singer/songwriter infused album draws elements of classic rock, while holding space for soft-yet heavy moments that are sobering, and will keep you emotional and grounded. 22 Album: Happiness is Going to Get You Artist: Allie X Streaming: Apple Music / Spotify Tea Pairing: White tea, sheng puer Description: Allie X's new album is a somber, yet smooth pop hit that dig deep into the well of heartbreak, and finding happiness again. The 80's inspired quirkness and laid back synths help carry this album along to help create an atmosphere of being happy, yet content. 21 Album:   Silver Deliverer Artist:   Aly & Aj Streaming:   Apple Music  / Spotify Tea Pairing:  Shou puer, aged sheng puer, aged white tea Description:   This heavy, yet light-hearted pop-rock album with blues and folk influences, focuses on the beauty of aging, living life to the fullest, and filling your life with the people who matter the most to you. This is something you'd expect to hear on the patio at your favorite local neighborhood bar. Top 20 20 Album:   THAT'S SHOWBIZ BABY! Artist:  JADE Streaming:   Apple Music / Spotify Tea Pairing:  Green tea, sheng puer Description:   One of Little Mix's breakout stars released her ambitious debut album. With timeless Britney Spears's influenced futuristic-pop, JADE tells all in this groovy night-club banger of an album. While having a consistent vibe through-out, she digs deep to sing about truama endured from the hands of being on the UK's The X-Factor, and trauma from Simon Cowell. 19 Album:   Petty Idea Artist:  Amber Mark Streaming:   Apple Music  / Spotify Tea Pairing:  Sheng puer, shou puer, hei-cha, white tea Description:  Amber Mark's new soul-pop album is sensual, moody, and atmospheric. As one of the smoothest albums of the year, Amber's vocals mixed with her ability to write a hook, as well as tell a story, is more than mesmerizing -- It's queen shit. 18 Album:   Never Walk Alone Artist: Blond:ISH Streaming: Apple Music / Spotify Tea Pairing: Sheng puer, shou puer, black tea, white tea Description: Blond:ISH's debut EDM album draws inspiration from afro-beats, Latin America, and even psychedelic pop-rock (with Empire of the Sun's frontman lending their voices to the album's intro). This electronic album is a vibe that you can grove and meditate to, while feeling familiar yet fresh at the same time. 17 Album:   All is Love and Pain in the Mouse Parade Artist: Of Monsters and Men Streaming: Apple Music / Spotify Tea Pairing: White tea, swheng puer, shou puer Description: Of Monsters and Men took over half a century to release their fourth album, which goes back to their Icelandic pop-rock and folk roots. However, this album is calm, sobering, moody, and emotional throughout. 16 Album:   A Matter of Time Artist:  Laufy Streaming:   Apple Music  /  Spotify Tea Pairing:  Shou puer, black tea, aged sheng puer Description:   Iceland made it on this list twice this year! Islandic pop-artist Laufy brings forth a very old-school version of pop -- a 1950s-1960s version of pop, to be more specific. She skillfully brings old old-school back into the limelight, with Disney-esque production that has many memorable moments that will make you think: "Is she from this century?" Honorable Mention 1 This year's honorable mention almost made the list. The only reason why this album didn't make the cut is that it's a shorter EP that would last throughout half of a tea session (only 20 minutes). However, this small EP can still contribute to an amazing tea session and is worth noting. Album:  Fancy That Artist:  Pinkpanthress Streaming:   Apple Music   / Spotify Tea Pairing:  Any Description:   Pinkpanthress's 3rd album came out swinging. While she might sound like some Gen Z TikTok star (which is because she is), the best way to describe this album is as if Charli XCX dabbled in low-fi EDM while somehow sounding more British. Despite the album's short runtime, this album's laid-back vibe added to its consistent aestheticism, making this album perfect for a shorter tea session. Top 15 15 Album:   Man's Best Friend Artist: Sabrina Carpenter Streaming: Apple Music / Spotify Tea Pairing: Green oolong, white tea, sheng puer, green tea Description: Man's Best Friend deals with a break-up in a hilarious yet vulnerable way. Despite being heavy-handed at times, this album's consistent production makes this an excellent album for an enjoyable tea time. Maybe it's Sabrina's cheekiness and wit, or light country influences that are glittered onto this album? Something about it reminds me of Dolly Parton. I couldn't tell you why; it just does. 14 Album:   Tsunami Sea Artist:  Spirit Box Streaming: Apple Music / Spotify Tea Pairing:  Fresh sheng puer, green tea, black tea Description:   Spirit Box's new album is by far their best and is also one of the best metal albums released all year. The vocal performance, as well as the heavy metal production (which sometimes showed a faint pop influence), was enough to create a moody atmosphere, and enough to get lost in the music with your cup of tea in hand. 13 Album:   Virgin Artist:  Lorde Streaming: Apple Music / Spotify Tea Pairing:  Sheng puer, white tea, sheng puer, oolong tea Description:   Lorde's 4th studio experimental electro-pop album is a vulnerable re-awakening. While transcending the idea of time, love, and what it means to be a woman, and reconnecting to your inner child. With influences of Imogen Heap and Kate Bush, Virgin's rawness and vulnerability are healing and self-reflective, which is the perfect combination for tea time. 12 Album:   Ego Death at a Bachelorette Party Artist:  Hayley Williams Streaming:   Apple Music  / Spotify Tea Pairing:  Shou puer, oxidized oolong, rock oolong, black tea Description:   Paramore's front-runner released another solo album that is moody, emotional, and smooth as butter. Hayley's soft-rock singer-songwriter-infused album is heavy while being chill and relaxing. Listening to Hayley Williams write lyrics like she's reciting her diary to us is a humble reminder to be open and vulnerable. 11 Album:  Teal Dreams Artist:  Yazmin Lacey Streaming:   Apple Music  / Spotify Tea Pairing:  Shou puer tea, black tea, taiwanese oolong, scented tea Description:   This soulful R&B/Pop/blues fusion will take you back to the 90s with a modern pop twist, which is enjoyable to help set the perfect mood for any tea time, with a voice that's as rich as butter. Yazmin is virtually unknown, and yet, she released an album that's so well crafted that you'd assume she's a mainstream artistic veteran. To make it all more on-the-nose, Yazmin released a tea blend after her album, and it can be purchased on her website (more artists really should do this). Top 10 10 Album:  The Art of Loving Artist:  Olivia Dean Streaming:   Apple Music  / Spotify   Tea Pairing:  Sheng Puer, Shou Puer, Rock Oolong/Oxidized Oolong Description:   Olivia Dean's sultry R&B-pop infusion is moody, fresh, romantic, and aesthetically pleasing to the ear. The Art of Loving is such an easy album to meditate to, and transports you to a time of Amy Winehouse and Whitney Houston. Smooth, sexy, and meditative; This album is perfect for tea time. 9 Album:   EURO-Country Artist:  CMAT Streaming:   Apple Music  / Spotify Tea Pairing:  Black tea, white tea, oolong tea Description:   This country-pop album is fun, chaotic, and room-filling. Irish-born singer CMAT's ability to create a catchy hook with ease and heavy emotion makes this one of the best female country-pop albums since Golden Hour by Kacey Musgraves. The highs are high, and the lows are emotional and somber. Despite being pop-heavy, it somehow reminded me of a Fiona Apple album in some regards (call me crazy if you want, but it's there). The vocal layers that create a choir effect, as well as going all-out on every song, make this album a fun and memorable tea time. 8 Album:   Everybody Scream! Artist:  Florence + The Machine Streaming:   Apple Music / Spotify Tea Pairing:  Aged sheng, aged white tea, black tea Description:   Florence + The Machine's most recent masterpiece explores the idea of premonition, heartbreak, and Florence's near-death experience after a miscarriage caused her fallopian tube rupture, which almost caused her to bleed to death. While coming back from the loss of her unborn child, loss of a relationship, and staring death in the face, Florence's new album is the most mature piece of work she's ever put out. While having room-filling bangers, this album keeps you grounded by reminding you that, behind being mythical, is an all-too-real human experience... 7 Album:   Femme Fatale Artist:  Mon Laferte Streaming: Apple Music / Spotify Tea Pairing:  Black tea, sheng puer, aged white tea Description:   Chilean artist Mon Laferte brings forth a French-inspired jazz album that will make you believe that Amy Winehouse, Edith Piaf, and Adele were all 3 in the recording studio with her. This musical feat carries a heavy punch while also showing vulnerability. Her vocal performance was jaw-dropping and and once-in-a-generation talent. Tea with this album will only send chills down your spine, and will stop the air in the atmosphere around you. 6 Album:  Through The Wall Artist:  Rochelle Jordan Streaming:   Apple Music   / Spotify Tea Pairing:  Sheng Puer, Black Tea, Shou Puer Description:   Rochell Jordan's new album 'Through The Wall' is a buttery and sensual soul-pop album that walks the line of being disco-inspired. Rochelle's vocal performance, as well as the smooth and laid-back glittery production, make this album a fun and groovy soundtrack for your next tea time. Honorable Mention 2 This year's 2nd honorable mention almost made the list. The only reason why this album didn't make the cut is that it's a shorter EP that would last throughout half of a tea session (only 20 minutes). However, this small EP can still contribute to an amazing tea session and is worth noting. It would be a crime not to mention this album somewhere on this year's list. Album:  After EP 2 Artist:  After Streaming:   Apple Music  / Spotify Tea Pairing:  Any Description:   After's 2nd EP is best described as an EP that traveled through a time machine from the year 2000, and ended up in 2025. This old-school Moby/Vanessa Carlton-inspired electro dream-pop/rock album sounds nostalgic, yet somehow manages to sound fresh. While you'd expect music from this album to end up on an early 2000s romcom, it somehow managed to make its way to the present day and makes for an amazing tea pairing. Top 5 5 Album:   Nobody's Girl Artist: Amanda Shires Streaming: Apple Music / Spotify Tea Pairing: Sheng puer, shou puer, aged white tea Description: Indie country singer-songwriter brings us the heaviest country album of the past decade. Amanda Shire's raw vulnerability is everything that country should be, and is something Loretta Lynn would be proud of. Despite being country, this album's strength lies with its relatability and gorgeousness, while showing every shade of sadness and recovery. Disclaimer: Do not listen to this album if you experience depression -- it'll push your mental health over a cliff. 4 Album:   If You Ask for a Picture Artist: Blondshell Streaming: Apple Music / Spotify Tea Pairing: Black tea, oolong tea, white tea, sheng puer Description: Blondshell's sophomore album came out strong. Blondeshell's new soft alt-rock album utilizes enough pop hooks and nonsensical emotional lyrics that'll leave you questioning if she's related to Phoebe Bridgers. While creating a language of her own, Blondeshell's songwriting is catchy and fresh, while reminiscent of early 2000s pop-rock. This album will make you feel comforted during tea time. 3 Album:   Let God Sort Em Out Artist: Pusha T and Malice Streaming: Apple Music / Spotify Tea Pairing: [This tea pairing is culturally inappropriate] Description: After nearly 15 years, Pusha T and Malice rejoin to create one of the best rap albums of the 2020s. This album opens up to the mourning of a huge loss while exploring the grief of losing a parent, while continuing to explore themes of feeling guilty for making it out of generational trauma, while watching loved ones stay stuck in the same rut. While being largely produced by Pharrell Williams, and with guest features from Kendrick Lamar, John Legend, Tyler, the Creator, and others, this album stays fresh throughout. This makes for one helluva tea and music pairing. 2 Album:   LUX Artist: Rosalia Streaming: Apple Music / Spotify Tea Pairing: Any Description: Lux is one hell of an album. Spanish artist Rosalia sang this album in 13 different languages while recording with the London Philharmonic Symphony. Rosalia's production is grand, while somehow still being vocally vulnerable. This album was masterfully crafted and will instantly transport you into another dimension. When this masterpiece ends, you'll be standing up at your tea-table -- ready to applaud Rosalia for the otherworldly journey she just took you on. 1 Album:   Blue Artist:  Galdive Streaming:   Apple Music / Spotify Tea Pairing:  Sheng puer, shou puer, black tea, hei-cha, aged white tea Description:   Galdive is a relatively new Hong Kong duo that's everything a tea-album pairing should be. This album has progressive and refreshing low-fi beats while incorporating R&B influences with jazz instrumentation. The vocal performance in this album is utterly flawless and will keep you relaxed while head-bopping through your tea session. This ranks as the chillest album on the list, and is everything a tea-album pairing should be. (Photo: Album Artwork by Tisha/ Kubo for Blue by Galdive, 2025, property of Mom + Pop) ~ Do YOU recognize any of the albums in this list? Join the discussion HERE on instagram!! Happy listening, and happy sipping! ~ Cody aka The Oolong Drunk "Blissfully Tea Drunk"

Hello hello! Today is my 30th birthday! 30 years ago on September 17th, Sunday at 12 noon, I entered the world. My mom and dad debated on naming me either Cody or Preston, and when my grandfather was asked to be the tie-breaker, he picked Cody.  From there, I have lived quite the life. I have survived a massive car accident, watched my father die, come out as gay, launched an extensive career in tea, written 2 books and a novel, moved from Texas to Missouri, and moved from Missouri to Colorado. Over the past 30 years, saying I have learned a lot would be an understatement. However, for my 30th birthday, I’ll go over 30 pieces of advice that everyone should know by the time they turn 30. Let's dive in! There’s no such thing as saying 'thank you' too many times, but there is only a limited amount of time you can say ‘I’m sorry’.  Family is not always thick as blood. After coming out as gay, I’ve seen many family members write me off. While not everyone is unfortunate enough to know what that feels like, it is always good to remember that family is the people who show up for you, regardless of whether you are blood-related to them or not. Also, chosen family is the best family.  Read more books. Make time for it, and do it regularly. Journal more. There is no greater joy than self-reflection, and self-reflection is made so much easier when you leave yourself a paper trail.  Photos say a thousand words, but hearing someone’s voice speaking those words is priceless. Somehow or another, save audio-recordings of loved ones.  As someone who has battled mental health struggles on and off in life, I will attest that going outside and looking at the sun and breathing in fresh air does actually help.  Know how to make at least 1 cocktail drink, or 1 mixed drink, and know the difference between each wine type.  Listen to a different genre of music at least once a week. It’s easy to stay in our own bubbles, and social media and technology have made it much easier to stay in an echo-chamber. Listening to music of someone else from a background other than you, will help expand your mind and imagination.  Don’t get news from social media. Ever.  Make a habit of phone-calling people. I was young enough to remember when you had to hang up the phone to go on the internet, and when you had to remember people’s phone numbers to call them. Cell phones have taken away the ability to connect with someone on a more personal level. With that, keep the bridge open. Talking on the phone is a skill that’s quickly getting lost. Twitter is never on your side.  Learn how to cook 1 soup recipe by memory. It’s never too late, and it's never a bad time to tell someone what they mean to you. If there is someone in your life who is special to you (either a friend, family member, co-worker, etc.), it’s better to tell them now, rather than never telling them at all. And also, make a habit of telling them. Give people grace, and give people 2nd chance. We all mess up. We’re human, after all.  Learn how to public speak. Whether at a company function or with a group of friends, learning how to talk comfortably in front of other people is a huge personal upgrade.  Brush and floss your teeth. Go to the dentist regularly and make it a priority. We only get 1 set of adult teeth. Once they’re gone, they’re gone.  When talking, make a habit of talking about the things you love more than the things you hate. It’s better to be remembered for the love we possessed, not the hate we spread.  Go see an opera LIVE, and even an orchestra, at least once. Turn off your phone at least 30 minutes before bed.  Some friendships are meant to be in 1 season of your life, and that’s completely okay. If people want to go, then let them. Don’t accept the love you think you deserve. Don’t settle. We all deserve better.  Disassociate from politics from time to time. Letting political outrage consume your personality will create toxicity within you. Stay up to date on what’s going on, but also know when to draw a line in the sand so it doesn't consume you. Invest money in anything that separates you from the ground. Good supportive shoes, a supportive bed, a good desk chair, etc.  Road rage never helps anything. When driving, let it go. Being mad at that Sudan who cut you off will only age you. Road rage does nothing for the other driver.  Go out in nature without music or your cell phone. Enjoy nature for what it is. Nature doesn’t need a soundtrack, and nature doesn’t need to be experienced through a phone’s camera. Go out in the trees and just simply exist.  Clean your sheets regularly, and switch out your pillowcases at least 2-3 times a week.  Delete TikTok.  Our lives are not our own. Make sure your actions are not only pro-you, but also pro-those who exist around you. It’s always good to put your own self-care first, but it’s also a good reminder that our actions also affect others. Try to leave a lasting impact wherever you go. Don’t judge people who are different than you. Rather, love someone who is different than you. This includes trans people. Instead of using hate to justify your viewpoints towards someone, use kindness. It takes less energy to love and support someone than it does to hate someone.  Drink a good cup of tea from time to time. You’re not just drinking a cup of tea, you’re drinking a gift from Mother Nature and hundreds of years of another culture. Tea warms the heart and warms the soul.  Thank you, everyone, and happy 30th :)  Best wishes, ~Cody Wade Aka The Oolong Drunk “Blissfully Tea Drunk”

Hello hello! IKEA is known for its self-assembly furniture, its Swedish roots, its amazing meatballs, and its exploitative efforts to deforest the remaining of Romania’s untouched forests while yet again proving that white people are destructive to everywhere else except their own homeland. However, when thinking of IKEA, do you ever think about tea? I can say that I certainly did not, until last weekend, when on an IKEA trip, I stumbled upon IKEA-branded tea.  So how does their tea hold up? Is it just as exploitative as their furniture? Let’s find out!  Brewing Parameters: Time: 3 minutes  Brewing Temperature: 204 ° f (95.5 ° c)  Size of Mug: 8oz  Price: $5.00 per box of 25 tea bags Side note: The instructions on the box says to use boiling water at 212°F (100°c), except the boiling point for me is 204°F due to living at high elevation.  Green Tea: To start, IKEA’s green tea was packaged in a box that would not open. To open the box, I had to shred it open. When brewing the tea, it quickly turned dark orange while being mute of any aroma. The taste of the tea was strong in notes of hay, with stale undertones of peanuts and cardboard.  Black Tea: Just like the green tea, this box was nearly impossible to open without shredding. When brewing the tea, it turned quickly dark orange. The tasting notes were light in tree bark while being note-heavy in printer paper and cardboard box. It tasted identical to a Lipton tea bag, just a bit more stale and somehow more bitter.  The Breakdown:  While IKEA is upholding its Anglo-Saxon roots by being white as shit , they somehow managed to release a tea that’s somehow more basic than Lipton tea while being more than double the price. Not only were they able to be twice as bad at double the price, they were able to exploit both the consumer and tea culture -- which is a talent that no other company could achieve at such high excellence.  To add, the boxes of tea both state that they are ‘Rainforest Alliance Certified’. Which, thank God we don’t have to worry about that when considering that the black tea is sourced and packaged from Sri Lanka -- which is known for paying its tea farmers $8.50 a day for near slave-labor in a system that was originally implemented by British settlers ( sigh , British white people of course). We can all rest easy at night knowing that IKEA is not exploiting Sri Lanka’s rainforests, which should be a plus considering the fact that they’re already taking advantage a 3rd world country. But hey, like I said, at least Sri Lanka's rainforests are safe <3 Overall, I would not buy these teas again. If the Swedes want to be known for something, they should leave it at producing gay-icon pop stars instead, because IKEA will somehow make you think that their take on tea is so basic and white that Sidney Sweeney would appear in a commercial advertising this tea while saying her tea-bags are blue . ~Cody aka The Oolong Drunk "Blissfully Tea Drunk"

Hello hello!! This year, White2Tea released one of the first-ever decaffeinated sheng and shou puer teas ever made. Yes, that’s correct! After being in tea for well over a decade, I’ve never heard of decaffeinated sheng or shou before in my life, which explains why I had to try it. So, how is this tea? Is it a marketing gimmick, or is there actually something to this? Let’s dig in! Brewing Parameters: 1g of tea per 15 ml of tea Temperatuer: 200 f/93.3 c Infusions: 12 infusions each Sheng Puer: Upon opening the tea, I noticed that the tea leaves looked darker than normal for a fresh sheng puer tea. According to White2Tea’s website, this is due to the CO2 process that the tea undergoes to remove the caffeine. Upon brewing the tea, the liquor turned dark quicker than a normal sheng puer. The taste was floral, savory, and slightly bitter. It almost resembled a sheng puer that’s had 3-4 years of age on it, while still being smooth and soupy. This tea even held up during the middle infusions, however, this tea’s overall body and notes notably dropped off during the last few infusions. Shou Puer: The shou puer was a nice contrast to the sheng. It smelled like fresh shou, except it didn’t have the fishy aromas that fresh shou typically possesses. This shou puer’s texture was silky-smooth, while being relatively light. After a few infusions, I pushed this tea so its soup could become thicker. Despite pushing it, it still held a relatively earthy/sweet tasting note that continued through out the session. However, just like the sheng, this tea’s body also dropped off pretty quickly towards the last few infusions. Overall thoughts: I think this decaffeinated sheng and shou puer was a lot tastier than any of the decaffeinated teas I’ve ever had. One of my favorite things about these teas is that they tasted near-identical to a traditionally processed sheng and shou. You would have never known the difference. However, one of my main complaints is that the teas were not as strong as typical puer teas and quickly died off in the later infusions. It’s probably attributed to the additional CO2 processing these teas went through to become decaffeinated. Despite this, these teas were a wonderful surprise, and I’m happy that I can now drink gong-fu before bed without it negatively impacting my sleep! I hope to see White2Tea continue creating decaffeinated puer teas, and I can’t wait to see how these age over time. Best wishes, ~ Cody Wade Aka The Oolong Drunk “ Blissfully Tea Drunk… ”

Disclaimer: The following post contains strong and offensive language, including mentions of violence and sexual assault -- which could be triggering to some. Hello dear reader, I apologize for my absence. I know I said I’d be here next week, but if I’m being honest, I’ve had a mental block writing to you. Not only is this the last segment of ‘Spilling MORE Tea’, but this is the last time I’ll be writing to you for the foreseeable future. I feel like there’s so much more I want to say, and trying to find a way to spill the rest of the tea to you has inadvertently created a mental block, because I still have one major issue I’ve been wanting to talk to you about. This is the time I spun out of control, over being called the 'F' word... One night in early February, I decided to return to the scene of the crime again. I returned to the place where I had been stood up, ghosted, and the same place I found and lost myself again. I went back to the drag bar. While at the drag bar, I went by myself with no expectation. However, after arriving, I had quickly built it up in my mind somehow that by going back, I’d be walking into a bear trap of sorts. I had run into my ex there before, and to add, it was at the workplace of the two drag queens who played with my heart just a few months prior. But I was going for me, not them, so why would it bother me? As I walked into the building, I looked around and didn’t see anyone I knew in sight. I let out a big sigh of relief. Then, as I walked outside to the patio, I opened the door and hit someone in the face who was on the other side. “Oh my God! I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” I quickly said. I bent down and extended a hand out and helped them up. As they stood up, I quickly realized that it was Samantha in full drag. “Oh, don’t worry about it, honey, it happens with these doors often and —“ they said before stopping mid-sentence and looking up at me. “Oh, it's you,” Samantha said as they quickly realized that it was me. “Yeah, it’s me,” I said as I began to die inside. There was an awkward silence between us as we both tried to avoid looking directly at each other. “So, are we okay?” I asked as my heart began to beat out of my chest. “Yeah, babe, we are. There’s no reason why we wouldn’t!” Samantha replied with relief. We both looked up at each other and smiled. Then, in my peripheral vision, I saw Lipstick Teeth walk onto the patio from another door. As I did, I turned around and walked back inside. I walked over to the bar and turned around, and as I did, Lipstick Teeth and Samantha walked in together and walked past me — not noticing that I was standing there. “Thank God,” I said to myself as I let out a sigh of relief. Then, my concentration was quickly broken as I heard the voice of a gentleman order a drink. “Rum and Red Bull,” I heard the man say to another bartender. I looked over to see Forehead — the gentleman who told me months earlier that he couldn’t be with me unless I was able to give him ‘good sex’. Quickly, I turned around and walked over to a crowded dance floor. As I slipped away, Forehead promptly glanced at me, but I disappeared into the crowd before he could recognize who I was. Considering how large the gay community is, it's really too fucking small at times. While on the dance floor, I danced in the middle of the floor near a Go-Go dancer. As the songs played, and as the lights flashed, I flipped my hair back and forth and moved with the tempo of the music. I closed my eyes, listened to the music, and disappeared in the crowd. I stood in one spot, didn’t move my feet, and looked around to see other gay couples dancing with each other, kissing each other, and enjoying each other’s company. The more I looked around, the more I noticed I was one of the only people there by themselves. The more that I noticed this, the more insecure I got. That was, until twenty minutes into dancing in place, I looked over to my left as ten college-aged white girls all rushed to the dance floor. One of them was wearing a tiara with a sash that read ‘BIRTHDAY’ in silver glitter, while other girls in the group dragged their boyfriends onto the dance floor with them. They made their way to where I was standing and began to dance. However, despite being the straightest group in the club, they were also the sloppiest group of people in the club. One of the girls to my right stepped back and bumped into me, causing her to spill her drink on my new Nikes. When she did, she said, “Oops, I didn’t see you there! You made me spill my drink. You should buy me a new one!” I looked at her blankly in the face and quickly replied, “You made yourself spill your drink. You should buy me new Nikes.” She looked down at my wet, newly-orange-stained shoes, said “yikes” under her breath, and quickly turned around and acted like I wasn’t there. Then, to my right, one of the other girls in the group drunkenly waved for her boyfriend to come over to dance by her. He stumbled his way through the crowd, walked over to me, and started dancing with me. He took another step backwards and stepped on my foot while falling back on me. "Hey man, I’m right here!” I said as I put my hand on his shoulder and guided him off me. He sternly turned around, struggled to make eye contact with me while shouting, “Don’t fucking touch me, or I’ll kick your ass, you faggot!” I froze up. I was pinned between this man and another drunken white girl, who was now grinding on me while grabbing my hips. I tried to pull her hands off of my hips, but she wouldn't budge. I then looked up at the Go-Go Dancer who was on at the podium by me. He looked at me as I mouthed 'help'. He reached out, grabbed my hand, and pulled me up on the podium with him. “I thoguht I heard him call you a fag. Did he?” The dancer asked shouted in my ear over the music. “Yeah, he did! He also threatened me as well," I shouted back. The Go-Go dancer then waved over a few security guards, who made their way through the crowd. The Go-Go dancer then pointed at the drunken gentleman, as the two bodyguards and the Go-Go dancer all grabbed the gentleman by the arms and escorted him off of the dance floor and out of the club. The Go-Go dancer came back to me, hugged me, and asked if I was okay. I replied,“Yeah, I am. But, this is our space. It's supposed to be safe for us, and now I got threatened and called a faggot by a straight guy in a gay club while simultaneously being sexually assaulted by a straight woman!” The Go-Go dancer then replied, “Straight white women are the worst. They think they have come comrade with gay men, but all they do is dilute our safe spaces and make them unsafe. They come here and idolize us like some sort of fashion accessory, bring their homophobic men with them, and make it all about them. It’s selfish, and they’re wrong for it.” Suddenly, I began to feel dizzy. My head began to spin as the flashing lights on the dance floor began to make me disoriented. Despite that, I didn’t drink anything, I was feeling faint and light-headed. My face turned flush as I began to stumble my way off the dance floor, out of the club, and back to my car. As I got to my car, I began to uncontrollably hyperventilate. I squeezed the steering wheel as I started my car, pulled out of my parking spot, and continued onto the highway. 20 miles per hour While driving forward through a green light and onto the on-ramp, I began to question everything I had been through over the past year. It all started with seeing three of my failed dates at the club at the same time. I did everything right, and yet, I’m still doing this by myself. I have a lot of people in my life, and yet, I'm still more alone than ever. Maybe I chose the wrong people. But, how was I supposed to know they were the wrong people, until they proved themselves otherwise?! 30 miles per hour I then started to think about how I put my focus and attention on some of my pre-existing friendships instead. Since dating had hit such a brick wall, I thought I could rely on my friendships even more. Instead, I found my friendships to be more draining than anything. My former-best friend from late last year (who I called 'Entitled White Woman' for the story) not only dismissed the book that I worked on all year, but she was also being conceited with her relationship as well. So, what about my other friends? I remember one night, a month prior to this, I called every single number in my phone and not one of my friends answered. Only two people texted back, the rest never acknowledged it. They made me feel more alone, so why are all of these people in my life?! 50 miles per hour I merged onto the highway and got over into the fast lane, as I squeezed the steering wheel so tight that my knuckles turned white. I then started to question: Why do I keep putting bad people in my life? Where are all of the good people at? I moved from Texas to Missouri to recover from a car accident, and moved from Missouri to Texas to begin living life once I recovered. I re-started my life twice over, and yet, I’m falling into worse patterns. I’m lonelier now than I ever was. I then started to think about my upbringing and how it made me the person I am today. I grew up with a mentally unstable bi-polar narcissist mother who couldn’t control her emotions, and a conceded father who was a lazy alcoholic, who also gave up on life and let himself die when I was fourteen. I grew up in a household where my parents often fought, and eventualy divorced. After they divorced, my dad let his health go. I remember being in the hospital with him when he got really sick and watched his blood spew out of him until he flat-lined. I remember when the doctors rushed to bring him back, and when they did, he was not the same. He became miserable, and while miserable, became abusive as well. He eventually died a year later due to health issues, but I went no-contact with him three months before he died. I never got closure with him as a kid. In the end, I was still the product of parents who were unstable in every single direction they made in life. 60 miles per hour Maybe my adult life is chaotic because I had a chaotic start to becoming an adult. I didn’t get to grow up, because as a teenager, I was in fight-or-flight mode. I never learned what healthy relationships looked like, and didn’t have a chance to build life-long bonds. Between my parents, and between being medically and physically abused as a child, I never knew what normalcy was. When I was made homeless at nineteen for coming out as gay, I had no chance at making it in life. 70 miles per hour Wait, did I just say to myself I was abused as a child? Was I? Despite my dad dying, I didn't talk to him for three months before he died. He became angry, and he hurt me. But he wasn't the only one who hurt me. My mom did, too. Then, I immediately recalled a memory of when I was in high school and my best friend came out to me as a lesbian. She meant the world to me, and was someone I would have considered a sister, and I was someone she'd consider a brother. However, all of that changed when one day I was in the car with my mom at a red light. This friend of mine called, so I answered the phone. “Whose on the phone?” My mom asked. “It’s Maybelle,” I whispered while answering the phone. “Oh, that gay lesbian bitch? The one who's bringing evil around you?” My mom questioned out loud. My mom then grabbed my arm and started screaming in the phone, “Why are you calling my son, you n- lesbian bitch? N- bitch! N-!!!!” I immediately hung up the phone and pushed my mom off my arm, and when I pushed her off, she hit her head on her windshield. She screamed, turned the car around, and drove to the ER. She told the nurses that I had hit her and that I was mentally unstable, dangerous, and I needed mental health help. The cops came and questioned me while she was in the ER, and upon questioning, they saw the mark my mom left on my wrist from when she grabbed my arm to yell into the phone. They stopped questioning me after they saw the mark. I looked down at my phone, and Maybelle was upset, and said we couldn’t be friends anymore… 80 miles per hour These types of things happened on a regualr basis. There are too many to count. However, I do remember another time when, after the car incident with my mom, my mom drove me to a doctor's office to put me on mood stabilizers. While there, I told the doctor I didn’t think I needed anything for my moods. I told him that Mom pushed and pushed until I had a meltdown, and I just wanted to be left alone. The doctor felt conflicted and referred us to a psychologist. He couldn’t make a determination of the situation, and didn’t want to prescribe us anything since he felt something was off between us. When we got back to the car, my mom slammed the door, got in my face, and started screaming at me. She was screaming at the top of my lungs that I tried to make her look bad in front of the doctor. I asked her to stop, and she wouldn’t. I then began screaming “STOP” at the top of my lungs because she was still screaming. I eventually un-did my seatbelt, leaped out of the car, and slammed the car door while screaming “STOP” at the top of my lungs. One of the nurses came out of the office to see why there was screaming in the parking lot. My mom then got out of the car and screamed at me, “Cody, stop! You’re in public and you’re creating a scene!” I covered my ears and screamed, “STOP SCREAMING AT ME” again, and as I did, I kicked her car door and began to storm off. The nurse in the parking lot called the cops. As the cops showed up, the doctor came out of this office and gave us a prescription for lithium and told my mom to put me on a high dose until I was able to see the psychologist. 90 miles per hour When I came out of the closet, my mom had no words. She started crying, said I was confusing, and she went to her room and shut the door. I went to my room and went to bed, scared. Later that night, at 3:00 am, I was awakened to the sound of my mom kicking open my door and turning on the lights. “Get out here!” She demanded. When I stepped out in the hallway, she was swinging a shovel in my face and screaming that she was calling the cops on me. I quickly packed a bag, got in my car, and left. I was then homeless. 100 miles per hour Long after the fact, I remember yelling on the phone to my grandmother and questioning, “You saw the abuse we went through growing up! You saw that Mom suffered from mental illness and took it out on us!! You and Grandad knew everything that was going on, and yet, talk sat by and watched like bystanders!!” My grandmother replied, “Well, your mom is an adult. What she does is not our business.” I replied, “But we were kids! We were defenseless! We had no one to protect us from any of it! How were we supposed to make it into adulthood?” She then said, “But that’s not our business! Our daughter is a grown adult; we can’t control her. She's not our problem anymore." I then started to cry as I shouted, “She is your daughter, but I am your grandson!” I hung up the phone and blocked her number. As I drove upon my exit, I realized I was about to miss it and quickly turned onto the off-ramp. As I quickly tried to slow down, I cut the edge of the road with my tire and spun out of control, throwing my car into the grassy median off of the exit. As my car spun out of control, I squeezed even harder onto my steering wheel while closing my eyes as hard as I could. My foot’s brake pedal was flat on the floorboard of the car, as the car came to a complete stop -- slamming my head into the headrest. Once my car stopped spinning out of control, I opened my eyes and looked around as I began to scream while still gripping the steering wheel. I drove out of the ditch, made my way to the ER, and checked in for a panic attack while wearing Sex on the Beach-soaked Nikes. While there, my resting heart rate read 185/100, and they gave me a lorazepam to help calm me down. 0 miles per hour The next morning, I sat on the couch and booked an appointment with my doctor to go on antidepressants to help with my panic. In reflection, I began to deal with the fact that I was abused as a kid. I never had these realizations until the previous night, and the more I pondered it, the more I realized how awful the extent of it was. I was wrongly put on medicine for severe mental illness for many years, and to this day, I have no idea how much of my emotions I’m unable to regulate because I didn’t need lithium. I didn’t need medicine. Because I was manipulated and drugged because of an abusive household run by people who should never have had kids. What I needed was peace and quiet. I needed love. I needed to be a kid... However, that was then and this is now. But, t’s affecting me now, which means I need to deal with it now. Maybe it’s always affected me? But who knows. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom and my grandmother, and they’ve worked really hard to try and have a better relationship with me. However, these experiences shaped the way I function as an adult, and I’m tired of functioning off of this as a base. This isn't working for me, and it hasn't been for quite a while. I'm buringin at both ends, and I cant sustain this anymore. I can't change anything else, but I can change myself. The next thing I can do is start all over again, and start with myself. So, dear reader, I’m going to go away for a bit and keep taking my antidepressants and work on my panic disorder. I'm going to clean-slate with all of my friends and start all over again, and I’m going to double-down on loving myself again. I also recently got a bike, and I started biking. I also picked up racquetball and tennis, and started volunteering at a coffee shop as a mentor who employs special people. On top of this, I’m going to keep seeing my doctor and try to rebuild myself from the ground up again. I've laid out the ground work, and is it up to me from here to put in the hard work. Above all else, I’m going to give myself patience, and give myself the love I never had and hope I attract the right people along the way. All I can do is work on myself, and make sure that when I make it to the other side, I’ll be doing better than my parents did, and I’ll have the life for myself that I truly deserve — a life full of love and peace. I just have to be the one to give it to myself. Dear reader, I’m sad that we’ll be parting ways again, but when we meet again, I’ll hopefully be writing to you from a different place. I’ve got a good game plan set in place, and I need to start moving forward again. Just, I’ll be moving forward differently this time. Now, my speedometer read, “1 Mile Per Hour”. Here I go. I’m on my way… ~Cody Wade Aka The Oolong Drunk “Blissfully Tea Drunk”

Hello, Dear Reader. Welcome back! Did you have a good week this past week? Have any enjoyable tea? Well, as always, I have tea. But I can’t always guarantee you’ll always enjoy it :p However, there’s something that’s been weighing heavy on my mind lately: Have you ever completed a project that was lengthy, and took a lot of time, dedication, and effort to complete? Have you ever completed a project that took a chunk of your soul with you along the way? Yes? Now, I have a follow-up question to as: Have you ever shared something so monumental with a friend — only for them to dismiss it? What about with a group of friends? Today, I’m going to share with you about how a close friend took that trust and threw it away. This is about how I broke up with my best friend over my book. Before we can talk about the friend in question, we need to go back to March of last year. In last year’s blog series ‘Spilling The Tea’, I detailed a story about an ex who my relationship with crumbled due to them being in the closet. (You can read here). By the time of writing that blog post, which was towards the end of July, the relationship in question and been long over. In fact, that relationship ended four months before I wrote that blog post. One night, shortly after the break-up, I lied awake in bed and couldn’t stop thinking about how that relationship ended. I was upset, felt betrayed, and overall, just missed him. Our circumstances were messy, and the situation was unfair. Which, that’s life. However, while pondering that relationship, I jolted straight up out of bed at 4:00 am and began writing down names, characters, settings, and plot lines. This 4:00 am fever dream turned into a month-long planning session. This planning session took the form of an outline, and eventually, would be the skeletal structure of a novel that would consume every conscious thought in my brain. In a creative-neurotic state, I obsessed over this soon-to-be next great American novel. It eventually consumed every corner of my brain space that I had, and no matter how much I tried to distract myself from it, I couldn’t escape it. The characters in the story were very much alive, and the best way to find peace again was to get them out of my head, and onto paper. In April, I completed my outline and began the rigorous process of writing my book. With this context, we’ll now introduce the subject of today’s story: White Woman Entitlement. White Woman Entitlement and I met several years prior at a wedding, and when I first met her, it felt like a long-lost sister that I had finally reunited with years after being separated. We had similar interests, we had similar humor, and above all else, we enjoyed each other’s company. Now, given this wedding was halfway across the country, and she and I lived in separate states. After exchanging social media, we went separate ways with talks of a one-day meeting up again. To my surprise, that eventually happened! One morning, I woke up to a message from White Woman Entitlement that said that she and her LTR would be traveling to Colorado for a camping trip. And a few weeks, later, we were meeting in person for tea. She brought tea from home, and so did I. We hung out at a cafe, played tourist in Colorado, and after a perfect Saturday, it was time for us to part again. Despite that we lived several states away, White Woman Entitlement and I kept our connection going through daily snapchats, bi-weekly phone calls, and monthly virtual tea sessions. Over the course of a few years of keeping up this connection, it was safe to say that she felt like a sister to me. In many aspects, I felt like a brother to her as well. We were official best friends and a part of each other’s daily lives. Despite living several states away, our friendship felt much closer. We were chosen family. When it came time for me to finally get started on my novel, Entitled White Woman was one of the first friends who I told about the news. I told her for various reasons, mostly including that we were besties. However, one of the reasons I wanted to tell her is because she is also a writer! She’s a songwriter to be specific. While I was writing my novel, she was also writing new music. While the mediums were different, the art was the same: We were bleeding our hearts out on a piece of paper to convey a story. This was our art. While I was writing my novel, I’d keep her updated on the book's progress. At the same time, she’d keep me updated on her songwriting progress. However, I woke up the next morning to the news that she and her LTR would be back in Colorado. Just like last time, we met for tea and got food, and unlike last time, our date abruptly ended. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there was something in the air between them. They had been together for over four years and felt inseparable. Her personality was intertwined with his so much that you’d figure they’d be a forever couple, or, forget that they were two separate people. Unbeknownst to me at the time, but right after they left Colorado, they got into an argument on their drive back, and she broke up with him. I put my finger on it. Without going into details about their relationship (mostly because it’s not my business to tell), Entitled White Woman almost immediately got into a new relationship. She hopped from one to the next. Despite my concern for her, she was happy. Since she was happy, it started showing in her art. While FaceTiming with her, she’d show me some of her new songs. While strumming on a guitar, and singing with the sound of a thousand doves, I was stunned at how indiscernibly beautiful her music was. She seems to be doing better. The more music she wrote, the more I cheered her on. However, it wasn’t a 1-way street: While writing more of my book, she was cheering me on too. However, despite our overlapping support, we didn’t share the same parallel. On my end, I was going from one job to the next. I quit working at a bank, had instability at my new job that made me fearful of becoming homeless, and had horrible luck at dating and creating new friendships. As I described in my blog’s 9-year anniversary post, I even detailed how my loneliness and life situation eventually brought upon a panic disorder that seemed to consume every aspect of my life. However, the job at the surgery center became so bad, that I was interviewing for new positions on a weekly basis. Eventually, I found a new job, however, I quit the surgery center due to pulling my hair out due to stress. I had a month gap between leaving the surgery center and starting my new position. What did I do with that month's gap? I went to Trident Cafe nearly every single day, from sun-up to sun-down, to complete writing on my novel. I wrote from sun-up to sun-down, and at one point, I went to Trident 16 days in a row without missing. I was close to seeing the end of the tunnel, and after putting hours upon hours of hard work into this story, I was almost done. The chargers in mind were coming more to life, and with each and every sentence, they were almost real people. Entitled White Woman was cheering me on, and while cheering me on, I truly felt like she was there for me. Then, a week before starting my new job, I looked at my outline and saw I only had a few pages left to write. With a rush of adrenaline and a spike of tea, I levitated out of my body as I wanted to write the final sentences of my book. From the last paragraph, down to the last sentence, up to the last period, I got chills down my spine as I closed the lid to my laptop and began crying. The weight of finishing the book immediately lifted off my shoulders, as the feeling of cool relief overwhelmed my body. While shaking and crying uncontrollably relief, I got my phone out and called the one person who I knew would be excited for me: Entitled White Woman. When calling her elated, she expressed excitement for me. She told me she was proud of me, and told me I was incredible for finishing such an incredible feat. This support felt constant, up until I said one simple sentence: “I can’t wait for you to read it!” That’s when the mood shifted. Shortly thereafter, the mood changed. “Oh, I’m too busy with the new boo. We have a lot coming up. You can send it to me, but I’ll read it soon.” After a month of editing my book, and with a click of an email, I sent her my novel. Meanwhile, in the next coming months, all of our conversations surrounding her new boo, who we’ll call fuckface for this story. “Fuckface took me on a romantic date!” Or, “Fuckface makes me so happy!” Or, “I wrote a new song about fuckface! Let me show you!!” She was living her Cinderella moment, and in doing so, she made her new boo her entire personality. Meanwhile, with our parallel, I was being stood up at restaurants for dates, and being stood up by friends at restaurants, and my loneliness was growing into a category-5 storm that was rapidly turning into loneliness-induced panic. However, one night, Entitled White Woman was talking about how she didn’t enjoy her trip to Hawaii with her family, because the last time she went, it was with her ex. She was talking about how her relationship with Fuckface was so magical that it was too good to be true. Then, after venting to her that I was struggling with loneliness, she replied, “Maybe you should spend more time by yourself until you’re comfortable with yourself.” My face turned red-hot, not because the advice was bad, but because it was coming from a girl who had spent her entire adult life in a relationship with someone and had never spent more than a day by herself. While anger, disappointment, and jealousy grew inside me, I started to resent Entitled White Woman. Her life was perfect. The perfect vacation. The perfect boyfriend. The perfect friend. Above all else, the perfect way in which the way she never had to struggle was because, above all else, she had opportunities given to her that most people would never have on their own. After taking a short break from Entitled White Woman, I started to feel bad about my anger and jealousy. Just because she’s happy, doesn't mean I can’t be a part of it. In the background, I was planning a birthday party to include some of my closest friends to come out and spend my 30th birthday with me. If you can’t beat them, then ask them to join you, right? Upon telling her that I was planning a 30th birthday with several of our mutual friends and seeing all of my friends in one spot would help, she said, “I don’t know, I can’t plan that far out because I don’t know what Fuckface will be doing, and I’ll have to plan around what he wants.” I then remembered how the last two times I saw her in person, was also dictated based off what her date wanted, not what her and I wanted. I started lose hope in our friendship. To which I replied, “Look, I’m happy for you and all, but I want to see everyone for my birthday. My loneliness is crippling me. I’ve spent the last four birthdays in a row by myself since moving to Colorado and spent every single holiday by myself since moving here. I know that’s not anyone else’s problem but mine, but I don’t want to go into my 30’s alone. I need my friends.” After a moment, she said, replied, “Look, Thanksgiving is coming up in a few weeks. How about I call you and we can drink tea together, and eat food together virtually. I know we can’t be physically together, but I’d love to do this!” I started to calm down and started to feel reassured about our friendship. That was until when Thanksgiving came around, and she was nowhere to be found. She didn’t call, or text, like she had promised… A week later, she apologized for ditching because she was busy with her new boo, and she was busy having the most magical time with Fuckface. Then, she said, “I’ve also been writing new music!” Then, in a jolt of anger, I replied, “How’s my book coming along? It’s been a minute, and was curious how far along you were in it?” She then hesitantly replied, “Oh, I haven’t read it. I’ve been very busy lately, and things are going so well with Fuckface.” Then, I replied, “So how do you expect me to be supportive of you and your art, if you can’t be supportive of me and my art?” She then replied, “I’m sorry. I know it’s been one-way lately, but I don’t have the capacity to give at the moment.” I read that text and realized that was the exact moment I lost all of my love for her. Not only did I lose my love for her, I now harbored resentment towards her. I realized that not only was she had the privilege of living a life I’ll never get to experience but realized that she was using me as a cheerleader, and somewhere along the way, she stopped cheering me on back. Now, dear reader, she can’t help that she had a privileged life. She can’t help that certain things will come easier to her. However, her life turned into something that made me more and more lonely about myself. Not only was I hitting a peak with my loneliness, and struggling with feeling cared for by my friends, but talking to her started to make me feel like crap about myself. All of her ‘wins’ felt like ‘brags’. Maybe if she could have been there for me like she always had, maybe I would have been able to keep cheering her on. But I couldn’t. I was angry. I was jealous. And even now, I am lonely. I’m just human. Even now, none of my friends have read my book, and although I wrote it for myself, I wish I had never shared it with any of them. The hurt that came from no one in my life reading my work, and not reading a piece of writing that I bled for, was soul-crushing. I don’t know where to go from here, and I haven’t talked to Entitled White Woman all year this year. I just know that I miss having her in my life, despite that I can’t have her in my life. I don’t have a conclusion to this, except, life is complex and messy. And so am I… Thank you, dear reader, for coming back this week. I will see you next week, as, next week’s post will conclude this series. Thank you for making it this far. I appreciate you. With all my love, ~Cody Wade Aka The Oolong Drunk “Blissfully Tea Drunk”

Hello, dear reader! How has your week been? Have you had an enjoy able end to your spring? Hopefully you’ve been able to enjoy better weather outside before it gets too hot. Speaking of things that are hot, let’s jump right into spilling today’s tea and go over sex. Specifically, gay sex. Well, not just sex, but the context of sex with relationships. Like many topics I’ve already covered, this is probably a topic that’s already been done to death, or rather, sex’d to death. However, in gay dating, there are two stereotypes when it comes to sex and dating. The first one is, that if you’re going to date someone, you have sex with them first and go on the date second. The other stereotype is when hooking up with a guy, you have sex first and get his name after. If you get his name before ‘the sex’, you’re automatically stuck with being friends with benefits for life. Now, I don’t always partake in gay dating/gay hookup culture, because with all of the diseases out there you can catch, there’s one above the rest that I’m the most afraid of catching: Feelings. However, when in gay dating, regardless if you meet in person or over an app, the topic of sex is sometimes always the first to come up. Or, when talking to someone on a more interpersonal level, they’ll say they want something more serious, but will eventually revert back to wanting just sex. So while navigating the world of gay dating, I was happy when I met Christian. Christian is a devout-him and upon matching him on a dating app, and after our basic questions, the topic went straight to sex. However, this time, it took a different route. “I want to wait for a while, I want to fall in love with someone and have romance first,” Christian said. Which, I have been told these things before. However, what made Christian stand out above the others, is that when he asked for my Snapchat, he actually sent me a face photo. He is the first guy in 4+ years who didn’t send me a dick pic through Snapchat. Upon our first date, we walked around a park at sunset. We talked about life goals, our pasts, and how we grew up and shared hobbies. We eventually held hands, eventually finished each other’s sentences, and both blushed throughout the entire date. If a date watching the sun set behind the Rocky Mountain range would have been any more perfect, we would have found our way to the center of a Hallmark Channel original movie. The next week, we went out on our second date. For this date, we dressed up, went to a nice dinner, and held hands as we walked around the downtown area of a cute mountain town. However, this time, it felt like the romance was the strongest had ever been. We both felt comfortable around each other, we laughed a lot, and it was simple, yet hopeful. I knew I wanted this guy to be my boyfriend, and I knew I wanted no one else. That is until we got back to my car. “There’s something I need to confess to you and something I was afraid to tell you early on because I was afraid you wouldn’t have given me a chance otherwise." While surprised, I replied, “Oh? Well, whatever it is, it can’t be that bad. What’s going on?” He took a deep breath as he confessed: “I don’t have sex up front and wait until I date someone for a while before I do.” I sighed with relief and replied, “Well same! That’s what I want too!” He shrugged and continued, “No, like, I don’t have sex at all. I’m saving myself for marriage and I'm completely abstinent.” I looked at him and replied, “Oh… Like, no sex, even if you’re in a committed relationship?” He sighed and replied, “Well yeah, I’d want us to be married first. I want monogamy, but want to date someone for 3-4 years before we get engaged. It’s so frustrating because no guy will give me a chance.” I stood corrected, it can be that bad. I replied, “Well I’m down to wait a while before we explore each other sexually but if we’ve been in a serious relationship for a period of time, I’d want us to do so something. Lovemaking is important because although I don’t like rushing into things quickly, I am a sexual person.” He looked away and replied, “Would you have even gone out with me if you knew thins?” I replied, “Well, I don’t know. No? Maybe? But, by you not bringing it up, you never gave me the option to have that choice either. Because you’re not just wanting someone to be your boyfriend, you’re asking someone to share abstinence with you -- which is such a massive request to throw in someone’s direction.” He looked sad, and if I'm being truthful, I was sad too. We both parted ways and didn’t go out again… However, I didn’t give up. After a few more months of talking to different guys about going out, only to be sent nude photos in return, I was just about to give up on the idea of dating altogether until I got a message from Forehead. Forehead lived on the other side of the metroplex, and to my surprise, he also led our conversation by sending me a photo of his face. He was fully clothed in his photo, which seemed to be a rarity for the gay community. He had a decent job and also loved cats. This eventually led to a week-long flirtationship that lasted all week, until we eventually went to dinner. At dinner, we had a conversation that flowed naturally. We clicked immediately, both wanted a serious long-term relationship and at the end of dinner, it felt like we had already been dating for months on end. It felt so natural and so effortless. It felt like another instance of ‘meant to be’. But as you know dear Reader, this is my blog we’re talking about. I don’t normally share things with you unless they end in disaster. A few days after my date with Forehead, he and I talked about going on more romantic dates and talking about romantic dates led to the conversation of sex. After talking about having similar interests in the bedroom, he said, “Yeah, we should hook up next time instead of going out.” This surprised me. Given that he was more interested in romance, and given his demeanor up to this point, I didn’t expect him to be so blunt with it. To which I replied, “If being honest, I’m burned out on hookup culture. Would rather go out more and fall for each other before we explore that. To which he replied, “But how am I supposed to fall in love with you unless we have sex first?” I was taken by surprise. I replied, “So you need to have sex with someone first before you can decide if you want to be with them or not? You can’t develop feelings naturally without it?” To which he replied, “I refuse to enter a relationship with someone unless we have sex first because I need to know how good the sex is before I know if I can fall in love with someone or not. We have the same sexual interests anyway, so I’m sure we’ll click with that. I’m not sure why you’re becoming so prude all of the sudden.” My heart dropped to my stomach as I replied, “I’m not a prude, but you just objectified me and reduced who I am as a person, to just sex. I may be a sexual person, but I also know I’m more than that, and won’t continue further.” To which he replied, “That’s sad, I really liked you too. Good luck on your search.” Dear reader, I must tell you, I felt gaslit by him. But also, I started to wonder: Is sex ruining dating for me? Well, I’ll be forward and say, I’m just as sexual as anyone else. I’m not anymore, or any less, than the average person. However, is it wrong to want to find human connection first? In a world of social media where gay men are subjected to connect with each other through the naked lens, wouldn’t it be easier to open myself up more to having hookups in hopes of finding someone? I might could. I might have found someone if I went about this differently, but that would mean that I’d be changing my morals for the realm of dating — the same realm that reduces gay men to sex or personable connection. Why would I become more materialistic when materialism in dating has already brought me so much frustration? Why can’t there be a middle ground? At the end of the day, I’ll go to bed at night alone with the hope that I can find a middle ground with someone out there. I hope that one day, the right guy will come along and make this easy, and will make this easy with me. In the meantime, we’re sexual. We’re flawed. Above all else — gay dating is not perfect, but neither am I. However, until I meet the guy who’ll meet me in the middle ground, these guys can fuck themselves and I’ll fuck myself, too. Thank you, dear reader for reading today’s segment of the blog series. I hope you’re able to have a wonderful week this week, and I can’t wait to spill even more tea with you next week. Until then, ~Cody Wade Aka The Oolong Drunk “Blissfully Tea Drunk With…”

Hello hello, dear reader! How has your week been? Did you drink a yummy tea this week? By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask you, have you ever been to a drag show before? First things first: Drag is an art form, and many local drag artists perform for little-to-nothing. Now, not that I’m trying to get all preachy on you, but go support local drag! However, today, I’m going to tell you about how I tried to date two different drag queens, and how it was a disaster. (It killed me to not say ‘dating them was a drag’ by the way.) Note: This story is NSFW, and intended for mature readers. First, we need to travel back in time to last fall. Last fall, I was in-between jobs. When I left my place of work (which was the one mentioned in last week’s post), I was slated to start a new job. Due to the hurricane that hit Florida and the floods that hit the Smoky Mountain Range, my start date for the new place of work was delayed. In these 6 weeks of not working, I decided to go out in the city more often. Cause, why not? I’m single, can stay up late, and won't be able to do this forever. So I started going to different drag events downtown. This is where I met Lipstick Teeth. Lipstick Teeth is a drag queen in the city whom I met, and after some time, we built a very close friendship. One night, she invited me to a show she was hosting, and I came out to support her. Out of all of her friends, I was the only one to show up. In fact, the venue was relatively empty. Lipstick Teeth was cute, and despite that they were corny (and although their make-up was smeared) they sold the bit very well. I wouldn’t rank them high on the list of drag performers, but they tried. Eventually, Lipstick Teeth and I started chatting more and more. As our friendship developed, I noticed something: They posted a snapchat story that said, “There’s a boy I like, wish he’d finally ask me out.” I stared hard at it, and in a sense, it almost felt like it was directed at me. Lipstick Teeth and I had been talking on a regular basis, and there were light flirtations in some of their texts. After taking a bit of time, I eventually asked Lipstick Teeth out. However, after texting back and forth for several weeks and trying to get our schedules lined-up, I eventually offered to drive into the city to meet them. They replied, “I would love for you to drive down, but, you don’t live in the city. Sometimes I want to hang out and it’s hard with you being the next town over. I would hang out with you in an instant, but, you don’t live in downtown.” I stared at my phone and felt disappointed. I had driven to the city many times to befriend and support Lipstick Teeth, and yet, I felt crushed because all of our connection was intently redacted to being conditional and convenient. I’m not gonna lie, dear reader, that this hit me particularly hard. I had been rejected by many city gays before for not living right in downtown. However, this person in particular grew to know me as a person, and yet, still reduced our connection to something as materialistic as me living 30 minutes outside of downtown. I quickly removed Lipstick Teeth from my social media and parted ways. Later that night, I was feeling distraught. So, I went to do the one thing that I enjoyed doing: Go watch drag. You see, dear reader, I love going to drag for many reasons. However, the top reasons are, I get to be surrounded by other people on the queer-spectrum, which makes me feel like I belong. Another reason is the escape from it all. Every time I’ve watched a drag show, I’ve always felt more refreshed, confident, and loved than I did before. I could go further into why, but for the sake of moving today’s story along, I’ll continue… That night, I ran into another drag-queen friend whom I already known named Samantha. Samantha was a house-queen at this particular gay bar I frequented, and she was more than phenomenal. Samantha was born to be a performer, and every time they performed, there was a stillness in the air. They were, and still are, incredibly special. Later that night, Samantha came out on the patio, and she and I chatted for a bit. We even went to the dance floor and danced with each other for a bit. Eventually, we exchanged numbers and parted ways for the night. Later the next day, I was on a dating app (one of the serious ones, not the hook-up ones) and saw a guy named ‘Samuel’ on my screen. Although I had never seen this person before, I immediately knew it was Samantha, just not in drag. I had never seen Samantha’s boy self before, but I instantly knew it was them. My face lit up as I swiped right -- hoping that we’d match. We didn’t. However, a week later, I went back up to the bar and went to a drag-show led by Samantha. Just like always, Samantha was incredible. She didn’t only steal the show, she was the show. Samantha was cute, bubbly, and worked the audience with such ease. Seeing Samantha was the highlight of the night. After the show ended, Samantha and I hung out again. We danced, hung out on the patio, and shared a drink. Then, after I left, I opened my phone to a text from Samantha. “Look, I don’t know if you’d feel the same, and I hope it’s not awkward to say so, but I really like you and I’ve liked you all year. I really think we could be good together, and we could make an incredible couple. I know I perform a lot, but I know you can handle it, but I really like you and hope you feel the same.” My heart melted. With the largest smile on my face, I replied and said, “Yes! I’ve liked you for a long time as well. Before we make anything official, let’s go out and spend time together. I want to meet Samuel. I know Samantha, but I want to see Samuel too.” They replied, “Yes! Let’s go out. I’ll be busy this next weekend, with work stuff but lets grab dinner sometime after.” We agreed on a date, and everything was set in motion. That next weekend, I went out again. Samantha was performing, and we wanted to see each other. I walked into the performance room, and Samantha ran up and hugged me. She called me cutie, and I called her cutie was well. Despite that she was busy, she looked like she wanted to spend more time with me, but, had to leave and start the show. Halfway through the show, in between sets, Samantha asked the audience if she could have 4 volunteers from the audience to play a game while waiting for the 2nd set. I immediately stood up and volunteered. While standing on stage alongside 3 other volunteers, Samantha brought out a large box and handed all of us a wig, and announced to the crowd that we’d be taking turns performing drag, and whichever person got the most cheers from the audience, would win a prize. I blushed, and had no idea that I had volunteered to do drag, and on the spot. However, its as okay, because Samantha was there. I felt safe around her. I knew that I’d be okay. Samantha pulled me back stage, and as the DJ was getting my track ready, Samatha guided me to the middle of the stage curtain. She fixed my wig, and then spoke into her microphone and announced, “Next we have Cody, whose going to perform Green Light by Lorde!” The crowd cheered, and as they did, Samantha stopped. She slowly leaned up, guided my chin up, and softly kissed me on the lips. In that moment, all time had stopped. The music, the stage lights, and the audience’s cheering came to a deafening halt. It was her lips on mine. That was the exact moment I knew definitively that I wanted to be with her, too. She stepped away and pulled the curtain back. As she did, I continued on to perform Lorde…. Side-note: I know my peformance was something lol. But hey I got $4 in tips at least. The next week, I got a text from Samuel an hour before our date. “Hey, I’m SO so sorry, but can we reschedule dinner? Work called me to come in last minute. Can we do Friday?” I replied and said, “Sure, let’s do Friday then!” On Friday, around the time I was leaving to drive down to see Samuel, he texted, “Hey, I have to go into work again and I can’t tell them no. Can we aim for Sunday?” Then on Sunday, they texted, “Hey they double-booked me last minute as a fill-in, can we do next weekend?” And that next weekend, they texted and said, “I have to cancel, but I know for sure I’ll be free on Tuesday.” Then, I got upset. At this point, I had been canceled on the time-of, 4 times in a row and had been talking to Samuel romantically for over three weeks and still couldn’t go on a single date. I was getting tired and that spark was practically gone. I replied, “Hey, this isn’t working for me. If you’re too busy, I understand. But, I don’t think it’s fair to tell me you want me and need me, and cancel on me the time-of our date.” Samuel replied, “I know, and I’m sorry, I’m just busy and I can’t help it. Being a performer is a lot.” To which I replied, “Yeah, but so many of the drag performers at your work get booked as much as you do. However, they’re all in relationships, and they’re always doing things with their partner. If you really wanted it to work, you’d make time. However, I want you too, but it’s not fair to endlessly dangle a carrot in front of my face and nothing ever happens. I have feelings, too.” Then, Samuel texted and replied, “…I’m sorry.” And that was the last time we texted. Later that night, I went back to the club to dance. Samuel was working at a different event that night, so I didn’t have to worry about seeing him. However, this time, I avoided watching drag and dance on the dance floor all night. I wanted a distraction from my distraction. I was still heart-broken from Samuel, and you know what they say; the best way to get over someone is to be under someone else (or in this case, on top of someone else). However, as the night progressed (and after a shot), I was curiously growing Grindr when I got a message from a tall wwink. They had a shirtless-torso photo, and after chatting for a bit, we agreed to meet up. I got in my car and as I began to leave, I asked them for a face photo. Then, right after, they sent me a selfie. It was Lipstick Teeth. "Fuck the community is small", I thought to myself. I held my breath as I sent them a face photo of myself, hesitant about how they’d reply. “Oh hey, nice to see you again,” they said. I replied, “Yeah. Given our history, I don’t know meeting is a good idea or not. I just broke it off with Samantha. I also wanted to date you as well, but look how well that went. I don’t want this to further affect our connection.” Lipstick Teeth replied, “Well, I don’t mind. You can still come over, and we can still fool around. It won't mess anything up.” I hesitantly replied, “Yeah, but I wanted to be with you in a romantic way. I don’t want a hookup from you. I really wanted to date you.” Liptstick teeth replied, “I don’t know, I thought I wanted you too, but I don’t know what I want right now. I mean, I still want you.” I then questioned further, “So if you want me, then be real with me. Do you actually want me or not? Because you keep telling me you want me, but you can’t meet me halfway to make it work. So which is it?” There was a pause between replies, and after a moment, Lipstick Teeth replied, “I do want you but I don’t think we should date. You live too far… But you can still swing by and we can still fuck bare if you want. It would be hot if you left your load in me.” I looked at my phone, and without hesitation, I blocked their profile…. It’s safe to say I didn’t go back to the club for at least several months. So what did I learn from that this? Is dating Drag Queens really a drag? (I know I said I wouldn’t say it, but I lied.) First things first, I learned to never date an employee of any establishment that I frequent ever again, especially if it’s a gay space. For myself, there are not many safe spaces and gay spaces for gay people to exist freely. Given that the spaces we have are limited, I don’t want to have to further dilute the few options for safe spaces I already have. For as large as the gay community is, it’s still too damn small. Second, I don’t think I’ll ever date a performer again. Now, this isn’t to say that my experience with Samantha or Lipstick Teeth would ever be repeated again. However, I don’t want to put myself in a situation where my connection to someone is conditional on their inability to have a healthy work-life balance. Or, put myself in a situation where my connection to someone is conditional on something like living 15 minutes outside of a city-gay's driving radius. In the end, we can only be so flexible and forgiving before we need to start being forgiving to ourselves. You need to be fleible for yourself. The way that I'm flexible, is know that I'll drive any distance for myself. How about you, dear reader? Are you remembering to forgive yourself? Will you go the distance for you? After all, you’ve always been here for me, and never made my distance conditional <3 Try and take care of yourself this week, dear reader. Until next week, ~Cody Wade Aka The Oolong Drunk “Blissfully Tea Drunk”

Hello hello, dear reader! Welcome back! How has your week been? Have you been giving yourself grace? What about turning off the news and giving yourself a break from politics and other current events? It’s okay friend! You’re allowed to disconnect from those things, because let’s face it, seeing that kind of content over and over again can be mentally, emotionally, and physically draining. However, for myself, I use my tea blog as a way to disconnect from the chaos of the world, and to have a moment of peace to myself. However, what happens when that peace is disrupted and our bubble is infiltrated? Well, we can only curate a personal bubble for ourselves to a certain extent. For most of us, ignorance is bliss but we can’t always choose to be ignorant. As for myself? When the 2024 election rolled around, it was all anyone was talking about. Now, without getting into a political discussion (which is not the point of me telling you this, dear reader), I’ll be forward in telling you that this election was relatively scary for me in particular. After coming out of the closet as gay at age 19, I’ve run into a sleuth of issues regarding my sexuality including becoming homeless, having a gun pointed at me, and being fired from my job over being gay… I even detailed it more in-depth here in my pride essay titled ‘If Gay Means Happy’ (link here). With media frenzies and fear over losing more of my rights, including Project 2025’s initiative to revoke federally protected equal marriage, I had a lot of anxiety surrounding the election. When expressing this to my grandma, she said, “Why are you worried about your right to marry? You aren’t getting married anyway!” lol. Love you too, Grandma. Anywho. This is where we’ll introduce one of my longest-running running tea friends. For the purpose of this story, we’ll call him Mother’s Basement Incel. Mother’s Basement Incel and I have had a long-running friendship within my freelance career in tea. We met over social media, and when starting my blog journey, Mother’s Basement Incel was incredibly funny, and in fact, that was one of the main reasons why I admired him. He was, and still is, one of the main inspirations for adding humor to my blog. However, despite my long-lasting friendship with Mother’s Basement Incel, I started to notice a pattern with him: Every year or so, he’d get into drama with other tea people, would get kicked out of various discord channels, and would eventually continue to offend multiple other people as well. At one point or another, I started to question my connection with him myself and begged the question: How much longer until we have a falling out? After all, given how frequently it happened to him, it felt inevitable. I almost experienced this earlier last year when I told him I wrote a book, and it took a year’s worth of hard work to complete. He responded and said that he was writing a book and was using AI to do so. For the record dear reader, using AI to write a book is not writing a book. It’s the equivalent of driving 26.2 miles and claiming you ran a marathon because you traveled the same distance. As much as I wanted to argue it with him, I decided to let it go. After reflecting on last year's ‘Spilling The Tea’ series, I was admitted to not starting any arguments with any friends — regardless if I felt justified or not. However, that didn’t last long. One morning, coming up on the election, I opened my social media feed to see that Mother’s Basement Incel posted a meme, of an AI photo of Kamala Harris and Donald Trump sitting at a table by each other, debating if soda can be served in a teacup or not. Instantly, I became irritated. Not only was tea my mental block away from politics, but was also irritated because the election wasn’t funny. In fact, the potential that my safety as an individual rode on this election, was more than upsetting. While irritated, I left a comment under the meme and said something along the lines of, “I don’t think this is funny, there’s too much going on in this election to make it humorous.” Then, almost instantly after, Mother’s Basement Incel sent me a private message that read, “Hey, I deleted your comment. Don’t EVER do that again or our friendship is over.” In an instant rage, I replied, “Ok then, consider our friendship over.” I then immediately blocked him. While trying to calm down from my spike of adrenaline, I received a message from two separate friends, who said, “Hey, we just saw Mother’s Basement Incel’s Instagram story. What happened?!” While not wanting to involve other people in the drama, I replied, “I don’t know, what does his story say?” One of my friends then sent me a screenshot of his Instagram story, which read something along the lines, “Well, Cody blocked me. I’ll look forward to showing up in his blog series!” It was safe to say, this was annoying. So many questions were running through my mind. Was I wrong to comment that I didn’t find the election funny? Should I have just unfollowed him? Or, did he antagonize me to just get a reaction out of me, and manipulate me to write about him on my blog? Or yet again, is this another instance of someone wrongly perceiving me as someone who is angry and ready to fight because of a parasocial relationship he had with me? In last week’s post, I detailed how I struggled with various people in my life taking the wrong thing from my blog, and cherry-picking how they view me. Now that one of my longest tea friendships has crumbled, did he push my buttons just to make it on my blog? Well first, congratulations to him. I let him become a self-fulfilling prophecy on my blog by posting this. Second, was I being overly sensitive over politics and inserted myself where I shouldn’t have? Well, I might have been extra sensitive to politics, but for good reason. However, I was already anticipating that he’d pick a fight with me eventually, so was I unintentionally provoking him knowing that it was inevitable? I wasn’t. I probably shouldn’t have commented anything at all. However, is it really worth keeping someone in your life if you can’t have open dialogue with them, such as finding their politics tone-deaf and insensitive? After thinking on this, I’ve concluded that any strong friendship can withstand anything as minimal as a criticism on a meme, much less political viewpoints. Although I’ve gone back and forth on this, I’ve concluded that the friendship had already been over by that point, and if I really didn’t like seeing what he was posting, I could have unfollowed him and moved on to avoid any drama. However, I was already put off by this friendship by Mother’s Basement Incel’s boasting of their use of AI. Given I was already apprehensive about this friendship ending, maybe it wasn’t worth it for me to keep my mouth shut anyway. Perhaps it wasn’t worth it for me to keep this friendship any longer… However dear reader, our friendship is not typical — it’s not a friendship that can easily be rattled by politics, much less an AI meme. I know that I can come to you with anything, but just know that you can come to me with anything, even criticisms, and we’ll still be friends at the end of the day. I hope you have a great rest of your week dear reader, and hope you have a wonderful tea. Until next week, ~Cody Wade Aka The Oolong Drunk “Blissfully Tea Drunk”

Dear reader, Hello, old friend! It’s been quite some time, hasn't it? How have you been? Have you been drinking good tea lately? Speaking of tea, the last time I spilled tea to you was last year when I wrapped up my first series titled ‘Spilling The Tea’. After writing the series for 8 consecutive weeks, I was tired. I needed a break. I needed outside of my own head. However, since we last talked, I’ve done a lot more reflection on some of the events that I’ve experienced over the past year or so. There’s still so much that needs to get out. So, dear reader, fasten your seatbelt and heat up your kettle. This is Part 1 of ‘Spilling MORE Tea’… To get into today’s story, I’ll need to add context. I started my blog 9 years ago, intending to review tea. At the time, would have never imagined that I’d eventually show my face on my blog, much less talk about my life to you in such an intimate setting. I mainly focused on reviewing teas and analyzing the tea industry from an objective point of view. However, after several years of trying to remove myself from the narrative, I ran into an issue: My writing could only go so far because as much as I wanted to be objective, the way you perceive tea is entirely subjective. Eventually, I began writing pieces that were more opinion-forward, and eventually, started sharing my face on social media. As a side note, I wanted to mention that when I initially shared my face on social media, I lost around 100 followers because many followers believed I was a woman. As time went on, I eventually shared more opinion pieces, launched a tea talk show, and began traveling across the country to speak at tea-industry events. After a bit of time, I began to realize something: The more I was my authentic self through my blog, the happier I became. The more authentic I was through my blog, the more friends I started to make through blogging. Above all else, the more I was authentic on my blog, the more I was validating to myself that I was, in fact, valid for being myself — not because of the approval of other people, but because I was receiving the validation I needed from the one person who matters the most: Myself. However, despite that, I was meeting some of the most special people I had ever met, I quickly became confronted with one dilemma: How much authenticity is too much authenticity? Last year, when I launched the first ‘Spilling The Tea’ series, I received a lot of positive feedback. Generally, on my blog, my most popular and most read blog posts were my year-end blog anniversary posts, where I ‘spilled the tea’ on that year’s drama. Because of the praise I often got for my down-to-earth look at some of the issues I faced in the tea industry, I decided to launch the ‘Spill The Tea’ series. Although I received a lot of praise, I also began to receive a lot of condemnation. After posting the first ‘Spilling The Tea’, where I talked about cutting a friend from my life named Lilly who stood me up multiple times, I received a phone call from one of my friends named Tom. For context, Tom and I met through Lilly, and throughout our friendship, we had one common connection: We were both burned by Lilly. While I was being stood up by her, Tom was being stood up by her, too. There’s more to the story, but the short version is, Lilly walked over Tom, and Tom struggled with maintaining a friendship with Lilly as well. Outside of Lilly, we also bonded over our commonality of being gay and got along well. Well, up until launching my series. Tom called, and upon answering, I quickly realized he was upset. “I know Lilly did you wrong, and what she did was horrible and was relationship-ending, but I think what you did was worse. Although she wronged you, it was horrible of you to talk about how she hurt you on your blog.” Taken by surprise, I replied, “My blog isn’t about shading anyone I come into contact with. My blog series is about how I react to certain situations in life, in hopes that it can help someone else in a similar situation. If I talk about how her actions hurt me, and she doesn’t like it, then that’s not my problem!” Tom replied, “But it is your problem! Sure, she was rude and she treats us horribly, but that’s not an excuse to talk about how you feel. It’s not about you!” To which I further replied, “When her actions affected me, then her actions no longer belonged to her! My feelings are my feelings, and this is about me! So what? I’m supposed to be an emotionless punching bag for someone else, and never write about my life and my life experiences? Besides, this has nothing to do with you! Why are you inserting yourself in this?” Tom replied, “Because I know Lilly is a shitty friend, but she’s still my friend! This is about me! Besides, you talked about my friend like this, and on my birthday of all days?! How could you do this to me!!” At that moment, I realized I had lost the narrative completely. I know my friendship with Tom was over, and I knew there was no going back from my series either. No matter how many times I could articulate it, this is a series about how I reacted to life stations — not a series to shade random bystanders in my life who unexpectedly get caught in the crossfire. Because that’s not what I wanted, and now he made it about him… After the end of my ‘Spilling The Tea’ series, I took a short break to disassociate myself from my blog. Although the journey was healing, it was also tiring. I did 8 weeks of back-to-back blog posts, and I needed to rest. To help take a break from my blog, I doubled down on making reels and content creation for my blog’s social media pages. Given that I was more comfortable with my own voice, I decided to reflect that in my social media content. A lot of my reels became sillier, goofier, and most importantly, they started to become more authentically happy. However, this created another issue. One day, I walked into work and got confronted by a coworker. “Cody!! I saw your reel! You were NAKED on your reel!!” I did a side-eye and asked her what she was talking about. She then pulled up a video on her phone of her screen-recording my reel. It was a reel of me advertising my pop-up shop on my blog (which you can see here). Two things came to mind: One, how did she know my blog’s social media account? I never shared it with her. Two, why did she take a screen recording of my blog on her personal phone? Well, after a conversation with her in regards to respecting boundaries regarding keeping my private life private, and my work-life separate, she said she deleted her screen recording and never spoke of it again... Until I got called into my manager’s office in regards to promoting pornography on my blog. She showed me a screen-grab that was 'anonymously' sent to her, which was the same screen grab my co worker showed me. I left the meeting fuming and combed through every single one of my followers until I found her account (which was a burner account) and blocked her from my social media. Shortly thereafter, I left the company and found a new job. So if I’m being ‘too’ authentic on my blog, that oversharing has become a problem, and now, oversharing has become a problem for social media… I decided to slowly take a step back from both and revert to my early-blog days on talking only about tea. There for a short (very) short period, I told myself I’d stop sharing about my life in general, and decided that in the time-being, my life would be for my eyes only, and for no one else… As you can tell, dear reader, we’re back for ‘Spilling The Tea’ round two, so you know it didn’t last but a total of two weeks… lol. After a few weeks of taking a back seat, I went out with a guy named Loser. Loser was in graduate school in Boulder and was looking to date someone more seriously. After having an effortless chat on a dating app, we agreed to go out. We met up for dinner, hung out at my apartment after, and made out. It was a wonderful night, and after agreeing to go out again, things finally started to even out. He felt like he could have been the one. That was until I woke up the next morning from a lengthy text from him. Loser texted me and said, “Hey, I had a magical night. I was thinking you could be the one, until I googled you. I found your blog, and I didn’t like what I saw. I think it’s terrible that you’ve normalized having no filter on your blog series, and find it scary that if I were to ever do you wrong, then I might end up as a talking point on one of your ‘tea spilling’ posts. I liked the person I met, but I don’t like the person I’m seeing online. This isn’t going to work.” I looked at my text and angrily replied, “You had no right to make an assumption about me based on a para-social image of me on the internet. You had no reason to be a talking point in my blog series — until now. Congrats, you just made yourself the star of my new series.” Safe to say, he blocked me. However, I was pretty upset. I felt like I couldn’t win. If I’m authentic and telling my truth on my blog, then I’m oversharing in a way that will interfere with my interpersonal relationships. If I’m authentic and being my truth on social media, then I’m too excessive in a way that will interfere with my work life. If I stay off of both and pull back on both, I’ll still face the repercussions of what I put on why blog regardless. So why hide? Is the very thing that brightens my life, so much love and joy, also ruining my life? (Melodramatic, I know. But I did promise melodrama.) Here’s what I learned: First, everything online stays online. I can’t go back and change something I said on my blog from the past. Not that I want to change it, but ignoring it would just present an older version of myself to live on. As we grow and change, why would I want an older version of myself to be the current perception of me? I might as well continue the journey, in that case. Second, I learned that there’s no such thing as my ‘authentic’ self on my blog. Between my old friend, my old coworker, and the guy I dated, they all took a small piece of who I am and made the assumption that I’m that entire thing. They all view me differently; however, does that make them wrong? Well, yes. They saw different facets of me and cherry-picked it to use as an excuse to dislike me. If someone is doing that, there’s a good chance that they probably didn’t really like the other version of you to begin with. Whatever singular version of me they saw is still a version of me. If they don’t like it, it’s not like I can change that. It’s really not my problem. I’m a complex human being. My ‘blog’ self, my ‘work’ self, and my ‘social’ self are all three different people, because who I am is dependent on who interacts with me in any given moment. In that moment, we can’t change how people view us or judge us. So what should we do? The best thing we can do is to try to be our most honest selves in any given moment. Above all else, live our own truths for ourselves. We are the only person who sees every version of ourselves. As for me, I will continue to write on my blog as I see fit. This is not a series to shade or slander anyone who gets caught in any cross-fire. Rather, this is a series to share my life experiences with you because deep down, I never got the peace and resolution that I needed to move on. I need to heal, and sharing these experiences with you is what's going to help me answer the one question I keep asking myself repeatedly: Was it all worth it? Thank you, dear reader, for seeing and accepting this version of me. Also, thank you for coming back for ‘Spilling More Tea’. Coming back to you has felt like a warm hug. I will write to you again next week. However, in the meantime, drink a tea that makes you feel warm and fuzzy. Thank you, dear reader. Until next time, ~Cody Wade Aka The Oolong Drunk “Blissfully Tea Drunk”

Hello hello! A few weeks ago, a social-media follower of mine forwarded a tea company to me that promoted ‘tea for men’ and they asked for my opinion. To add to this, after being in tea for over 11 years and blogging for 9, I’ve seen a lot of debates about masculinity vs femininity in tea. However, I’m here to tell you my take on this never-ending debate (and before you come at me for talking about an already talked-to-death topic, let me remind you that I’m not giving my opinion via podcast because I go to therapy to actually deal with my issues).  Question:  Is tea masculine or feminine? My short answer:  Tea is a plant and it’s whatever you project onto it. My hilarious/smart-ass answer : Neither. Tea is actually on the LGBT+ spectrum because it’s asexual and can re-produce through cellular mitosis.  My long answer:  Unfortunately, my long answer needs more context.  Throughout history, Chinese tea has always been a status symbol among Chinese emperors and monks. There’s a several-thousand-year history of tea that was exclusive to the rich, the noblemen, and the monks who consumed, grew, and produced it. While there’s no way to see how tea was viewed by Chinese commoners throughout history, we can pinpoint that the largest event to happen in tea, was when Catherine of Barganza married King Charles II of England in 1662. She was 22, and brought her love of tea to England with her from Portugal. At the time, Catherine was considered a trailblazer within the zeitgeist. Catherine was a very influential and beloved by many. As legend has it, Catherine would host parties with friends, and would tell them to bring snacks/finger foods, and they’d share snacks while she’d debut a new tea that she imported. While starting this tea club of debuting new varieties of teas, this quickly turned into the practice that we now know as ‘high tea’ or ‘afternoon tea’. With the rise in popularity of tea and British noblemen who were impressed by Catherine’s tea parties, they’d oftentimes go back to their social circles and host tea parties of their own — eventually trickling down the love of tea to everyone else. This eventually led to a trade war between England and China, which was displaced in India.  This also eventually led to explorer Robert Fortune, who famously stole tea from China and spread it to the rest of the world. This act is known as the largest act of espionage in all of recorded human history. However, tea eventually made its way to America, and the rest of the globe — following the ‘high tea’ tradition up until now in modern history.  So, how did this lead to tea culture being viewed as effeminate in America? When Lords and Ladies in England adopted high tea, oftentimes, the Ladies would make tea while the Lords would go into drawing rooms to smoke and drink whisky. However, that culture did eventually cross over into American High-Tea culture. But, that only primarily existed in affluent culture. Many people in the middle and lower class, would often drink tea until King George III passed The Tea Act in 1773 against the American Colonies.  At the time, one of the only importers of tea to America was the British East Indian Tea Company. Since they had a monopoly on tea, and since their shipments of tea were dumped into the harbor (aka The Boston Tea Party), there was no other supplier of tea available. With these two events, America transitioned into coffee. While only high society would eventually return as the ruling class that primarily consumed tea, the societal segregation of tea continued. Okay, so, there’s not a lot of information to link the class system of male vs. female social events that continued to lead to today’s viewpoint of tea being effeminate. However, you can conclude from this that the masculinity vs. femininity in tea is a uniquely American viewpoint. In the modern tea industry, it is known that commercial tea is primarily marketed towards femininity, considering that historically, women were the largest consumer base of tea in America. In fact, females represent 73% of all retail sales of tea. So, logically, if you’re running a successful business, you’d want to market your business to your largest projected consumer base.  However, as of today, you’d need to ask the question of ‘what came first, the chicken of the egg’? Did marketing come first, or did the consumer base come first?  Well, the consumer base came first, but marketing became an echo-chamber. While systematically, only the rich could afford tea, which meant that high-societal norms dictated how it was sold to them.  So how would you break the mold of tea being made masculine, or gender-neutral in America?  First things first: Tea is a plant, and ultimately, it’s already gender-neutral. That also asks the other question that I wanted to address in this op-ed: Is it sexist to market tea toward men? Over the years, I’ve seen hundreds of teas that were marketed and geared toward women’s health, but none toward men's health. So when seeing a new tea company market itself for men’s health, why is it now inherently wrong? Given that health/wellness is a necessary evil for the tea industry, and that 75% of tea drinkers are women, then why not tap into the men’s health industry as well? If anything, this feels like an opportunity to tap into a market that doesn’t quite exist yet.   From a business perspective, I’d argue that selling tea as a health/wellness product pigenholes a company from being able to expand outside of the health/wellness industry.  However, if you want an example of a tea company whose utilized gender neutral marketing and found success, you should look one of the only tea-billionaire moguls in America — George Thomas Dave. GT Dave is a gay man who marketed his tea with gender-neutral marketing, and is not just one of the richest people in the American tea industry, he’s one of the richest tea moguls in the entire world. At the end of the day, releasing a product that taste good and is as easily accessible to all, is all that it takes. Final Thoughts:  Well, in my opinion, there’s a fine line between masculinity and toxic masculinity. While I do believe there’s nothing wrong with marketing teas with a masculine-forward approach, you also have to ask: Does the marketing that promotes masculinity have inclusion? Are gay men and trans men allowed to partake, or are masculine gay women also allowed to partake? Can CIS women partake as well? Or, assuming that ‘tea for men’, and tea that’s sold with masculine marketing and it’s done in a way that’s inclusive, then would it be so bad for someone else to see themselves represented as well? Why in tea is women’s health regarded but not men’s health? Because this goes both ways, too.  On the flip side: If the societal norm in America is that tea is effeminate, when what’s wrong with men partaking? Why can’t a man feel empowered to do something that’s seen as effeminate? I mean, after all, societal norms change all of the time. Did you know that wristwatches were women’s fashion at one point? Or that wearing heels and the color pink, were also masculine at one point in history as well? So, why can’t men feel comfortable enough in their own skin to do whatever they want without judgment? Is it because straight men know how other men will view them based on the way they judge and project themselves onto other people? Overall, tea is a plant. This debate has always been an idiotic one because it’s a goddamn leaf off of a tree, after all. If a tree leaf instigates a deep insecurity within yourself in regards to your gender, then you should seriously seek therapy.   With love, ~Cody Wade aka The Oolong Drunk "Blissfully Tea Drunk"