Hello hello! Around September of 2022 (18 months ago), I quietly took on the task of tasting as many mint teas as I possibly could. As of now, I've tried and tasted 54 mint teas! I tried pure mint tisanes, mint-based blends, and various other mint-oriented teas that the industry has to offer. Why did I do this? I honestly don't know. It was a compulsive action that had little-to-no thought going into it. This might be very left-field for many of my readers, and honestly, it's surprising to me too. Which mint teas did I try? Which mint teas are the best of the best? Below is my comprehensive list of categories of mint-based teas that I’ve tried over the past year, and at the end, will reveal the best mint tea that I enjoyed the most. Categories are broken down by three sub-categories, and the winners of the categories were selected by the following factors, Mint flavor profile The aroma-to-taste ratio (does the mint taste as strong as the smell? Freshness Natural sweetness Quality Accessibility & Affordability At the end, two grand-prize winners will be announced. They will win nothing, besides the gratitude of knowing that a Colorado gay favors them. Note: Multi-flavored mint-infused tea blends will be omitted from this list, as there are way too many to obtain to completely rank/judge for this list. So if you’re a fan go chocolate mint or watermelon-mint teas, I’m sorry to say that you wont see them on this list! Anywho, let’s move forward! Grocery Store Brand Mint Teas: Walmart: Great Value, Peppermint Herbal Tea Target: Good and Gather, Mint Tea HyVee: Decaf Peppermint Green Tea Trader Joes: Decaf Peppermint Green Tea Kroger, Private Selection: Peppermint Herbal Tea Whole Foods, 365 Whole Foods Market: Peppermint Herbal Tea HEB: Caffeine-Free Peppermint Herbal Tea Bags HEB Organics: Caffeine-Free Peppermint Herbal Tea Meijer: Peppermint Tea Wegmens: Just Peppermint Herbal Tea Sprouts: Organic Peppermint Herbal Tea Winner: Trader Joe’s Decaf Peppermint Green Tea Mainstream Box Brand/ Bagged Tea Brands: Traditional Medicinals: Organic Peppermint Tea Traditional Medicinals: Organic Spearmint Tea Stash: Peppermint Herbal Tea Celestial Seasonings: Peppermint Herbal Tea Harney & Sons: Peppermint Herbal Tea Twinings: Pure Peppermint Yogi Tea: Purely Peppermint Snarky Tea: Cheer The F**K Up Limited Batch Mint Tea Bigelow: Peppermint Herbal Tea Tazo: Organic Regresh-Mint Teapigs: Peppermint Leaves Smith Tea Maker: Peppermint Leaves Herbal Tea The Republic of Tea, Super Herb Tea: American Peppermint The Republic of Tea: Organic Mint Fields Herbal Rishi: Mystic Mint David’s Tea: Peppermint Armour Tea Mariage Frères: Peppermint Tea (Mentha Piperita) Adagio Teas: Peppermint Mina: Moroccan Nana Mint Taylor’s of Harrogate: Organic Peppermint The Tea spot: Organic Herbal Peppermint Tea Mighty Lean: Organic Mint Melange Tea TeaLyra: Pacific Coast Mint Pukka: Three Mint Organic Herbal Tea Winner: Mariage Feres: Peppermint Tea (Mentha Piperita) Moroccan Mint/Mint-Infused Tea: Art of Tea: Mint Green Tea Tea Forte: Moroccan Mint Tea Drops: Peppermint Tea Numi Tea: Moroccan Mint Herbal Tea Mina: Organic Moroccan Mint Green Tea Mighty Leaf: Marrakesh Mint, Mint Green Tea Organic India: Tulsi Peppermint Tea Stash: Moroccan Mint Green Tea Smith Tea Maker: Moroccan Mint Green Tea Tealyra: Moroccan Mint Fortnum & Mason: Moroccan Mint Green Tea The Republic of Tea: Moroccan Mint Green Tea The Tea Spot: Moroccan Mint Tea Mariage Frères: Casablanca (Green Mint Tea) Adagio: Mint Moroccan Tea Oliver Pluff & Co: Mint Gunpowder Green Tea Bigelow: Perfectly Mint Black Tea Tea Forte: Moroccan Mint Harney & Sons: Organic Moroccan Mint Winner: Numi Tea: Moroccan Mint Herbal Tea Before I list my winners, I want to point out some observations that I’ve notated in my journey: Many of the same mint teas were duplicates. By this, I mean, it was very evident that many of the same companies used the same supplier for the same mint tea. It wasn’t until almost a year into this journey that I made this realization. Though, by this point, I was too knee-deep into the journey to want to re-visit half of the teas to pinpoint which ones were duplicates. I would argue/predict that for many of the larger national-brands (including the grocery store brands), come from the same 3-4 vendors. If you enjoy one of the teas from my list, chances are, you have already drank 3/4 other ones. Believe it or not, mint had a very subtle difference in taste depending on the region it was grown in. My OCD kicked-in to really notice, and you’d have to hyper-focus to notice a huge difference. To piggy-back off the last point, I’d argue Pacific North West mint was arguably the best out of all of the regions of mint I’ve tried. I now hate mint tea Ok, without further ado, here are the best mint teas that I favored in this journey. Overall Best Mint Tea: For this list, I have a two winners for the best mint tea you can overall buy: 2nd Place: The Republic of Tea: Super Herb Tea, American Peppermint 1st Place: Smith Tea Maker: Peppermint Leaves Herbal Tea ~Cody Aka The Oolong Drunk “Blissfully Tea Drunk With”

Hello hello! Tea subscriptions work by sending tea to your doorstep regularly. Given how vast the tea industry is, there's a tea subscription out there for everyone. Below is a list of the top 7 monthly tea subscriptions within the tea industry (in random order).  Note: If you want to sign up for some of the subscriptions below, some companies were kind enough to include a discount code for your first month's subscription! 80° Magazine Link to Subscription: Here Frequency:  3 Times a Year  Types of Tea:  80° magazine doesn't release tea, but rather, they're a tea publication! They release three tea books a year. Their high-quality and esthetic book is not only comforting, but educational and insightful at the same time. Despite my bias for being published in it, this is truly my favorite tea publication to date.  Snarky Tea's Cold Brew Club Link to Tea Club: Here Frequency:  Monthly  Types of Tea:  Snarky Tea releases various fruity and floral blends in their online shop. For their monthly tea club, they include 3 fun and unique flavored tea blends that are sometimes exclusive to the club. Sometimes, they release sneak previews of upcoming launches. Upon signing up, you can join their Facebook group 'The Snark Squad' to discuss monthly releases.  Discount code:  THEOOLONGDRUNK (only good for 1 month after this post) The Essence of Tea Link to Tea Club: Here Frequency:  Monthly Types of Tea:  The Essence of Tea releases high-quality Chinese tea with a primary focus on puer tea. Some teas are limited amounts, and some are for educational purposes.  Discount code:  Type THEOOLONGDRUNK in the comment section when checking out to receive a free limited-edition tea  White2Tea Club Link to Tea Club: Here Frequency:  Monthly  Types of Tea:  The white2Tea club has been in operation for almost a decade, and focuses on a wide variety of Chinese teas. White2Tea releases special puer tea cakes, white tea, oolong tea, and other various specialty-produced teas exclusive to their tea club. HoYum Tea's Blind Tasting Tea Club Link to Tea Club: Here Frequency:  3 Times a Year  Types of Tea:  HoYumTea sends 5-blind teas, usually sourced from all over parts of Asia and India. They hand-source teas specifically for the club, and blind taste them while on a group Zoom (where the mystery teas are revealed). The teas are unique, rare, and experimental, and are only produced for the tea club. Some of the teas produced, are one-of-a-kind experiments and provide a fun and unique way of trying teas that push your understanding of tea.  Discount Code: cody10 My Tea Pal Link to Tea Club:   Here Frequency:  Monthly  Types of Tea:  This unique tea club focuses on their app called 'My Tea Pal', with a focus on high-quality Chinese teas. They offer 4-8 premium teas, as well as exclusive virtual meet-ups to discuss the tea. You'll also be invited to their discord group chat, as well as various other perks.  Discount code:  THEOOLONGDRUNK for $10 off your first month's subscription Tea Runners Link to Tea Club:   Here Frequency:  Monthly  Types of Tea:  Tea Runners focuses on flavored, scented, and single-origin teas. Tea Runners focuses on a little bit of everything and is a fun way to experience various types of tea without breaking the bank.  ~ I hope you enjoyed this list! I wanted to give a special thank-you to the companies who were kind enough to provide a discount code. I will see you all soon! Best wishes, ~Cody Wade aka The Oolong Drunk "Blissfully Tea Drunk"

Hello hello! Welcome to this year’s blogiversary! On this day, 9 years ago, I launched ‘The Oolong Drunk’. Since then, my life has forever changed. Starting my blog, I have made many incredible friends, have had many wonderful experiences, and above all else — spilled a lot juicy tea. Every year on my blog anniversary, I ‘spill the tea’ in that year’s drama that I experienced as a tea blogger. This has led my creativity to take me to many incredible places which includes a sinking ship, or a de-railed train.    However, what did year 9 bring as far as drama? You didn’t think this post would go without drama, did you? Being this pretty, fabulous, and popular all of the time brings luggage with it. So what are we waiting for?  Let’s dive in! Photo Credit: Eventide Glow Photography Late at night, I’ll go up to the rooftop of the parking garage of my apartments. I’ll look at the Colorado sky and watch for planets, and now and then, I’ll track the airplanes above me and see where they’re going. One night, I thought I saw a UFO as I watched a string of light hover over my apartment (it was just a string of starlight satellites, by the way).  For my year ahead of me, I had several things lined up: I’d be going to teach a workshop at the PDX Tea Fest, I’d be traveling to Washington DC to visit friends, and I’d be flying to South Carolina to see another friend. I also lined up a tea educational class at Trident — my favorite tea shop.  However, while staring into space and thinking about the expanding universe above, I was inspired to take more action: Sell tea.  This year, I did something I’ve always wanted to do. I released a pop-up shop and did it as a blog fundraiser. Given my blog’s platform rise in cost, I figured there would be no better way to raise funds than to sell tea. Earlier in the spring, I sourced and pressed a tea, got tea-cake wrappers made, and got custom blog pins made that had my favorite teapot, and blog’s slogan on it. This project took over six months of saving, investing, and planning. The prospects of my pop-up shop were looking great and after a lot of hype surrounding it. I was thrilled at the thought that I could sell enough tea to not only self-fund the shop but also fund my blog for the next few years to come.  After sourcing last-minute tea pets to sell in the shop, I had everything ready to go. With one click of a mouse, my pop-up shop was LIVE, and I was ready to start selling tea!  Initially, I got a large group of orders from friends and colleagues alike. However, after the first week of the pop-up, sales dwindled, and it was coming time to put things to an end.  In one final push for marketing, I recruited several colleagues to help spread the word. These particulate colleagues weren’t random. These particular people were tea shop owners who have asked me over the past few years to help promote them in some capacity or another. Some of these people asked for a tea review. Some have asked me to take photos of their products. Or, creators who have asked me to share projects of theirs to my story, to help them reach a new audience. One of the people I asked, was Connie. Connie and I go back.  Connie owns a tea shop, has a beautiful husband and child, and lives a privileged life. Connie launched her tea shop with incredible innovation, and quickly thereafter, she sent me some of her tea with the intent of sharing photos of her product on my social media page. After receiving her package, I tried her tea. To my surprise, it was incredible. I took photos, reviewed her on my blog, and continued to drink her tea. Eventually, some of my followers started to hop on the Connie bandwagon. And, I started buying from Connie too. Every time I posted a photo or review of Connie’s teas, I had a small influx of followers who messaged me — telling me they ordered from her on my behalf.  I eventually met Connie in person and built a great camaraderie with Connie. We eventually built a friendship, and I even got to meet her in person. She joined my blog’s talk show, and I continued to promote her. However, in our three-year friendship, I didn’t ever ask for support from her, until I launched my fundraiser. I sent her a message and asked her to share the announcement of my fundraiser on her Instagram story.  She replied, “I won’t share it on my business page. I’ll share it on my personal page instead.” After struggling with a way to reply to her, I angrily replied, “As an FYI, I’ll no longer promote your shop on my blog’s page. I’ll only do it from my personal Instagram from here on out.” Connie replied, “I don’t understand the FYI. The shop’s page is for my shop’s official business. I don’t want customers to get confused and believe I’m a part of your fundraiser. I want to support your blog personally, so it’ll go on my personal page.” She then continued, “Why am I choosing to use my own public account considered not sharing that support back? Don’t you feel that’s judgmental and transactional?” In the most professional way possible, I’ll be telling you, the reader, that I lost my shit.  I'll tell you what I told her: “That’s gaslighting.” I took a huge issue over this.  Why?  I took issue with this because she accused me of making her business personal. But, I’m here to tell you that she made her shop personal. She made her business personal by profiting off of the narrative that she’s on the queer spectrum. She made her business personal by accepting unconditional support from the queer community, she made it personal but financially profiting off of her minority status, and she made it personal by sharing her personal life on her business’s social media pages. I supported her unconditionally for around 3 years. She made a lot of money form my blog, and received a lot of free marketing from me. The very moment I asked for supprt back, to help raise funds for the same blog that helped her make money, she made it conditional. And then, she then gaslit me. I deleted every photo, post, video, article, and review of her tea from all of my platforms… Photo Credit: Eventide Glow Photography Late at night, when climbing to the rooftop of my apartment’s parking garage, I’ll often stare at the sky and wonder about the big picture of life. I’ll often think about the purpose of life on earth, and when I do, I often think about how we’re just on a big rock with gas, spinning and rotating around another ball of gas. However, what happens when you can feel the Earth spin? For me, I started to feel it spin. This became a massive problem. Earlier in the summer, I flew to Oregon to spend time with a few close friends. We drove up to go to the Portland Tea Fest, where I taught a class on how to describe the tasting notes of tea. After an enjoyable weekend with my close friend, he drove me to the airport in Portland as we parted ways. After going through security, I boarded my plane and flew back to Colorado. While on the airplane to Colorado, I realized that in mid-summer, this was the last time I’d be getting to see any of my friends for the entire year. While looking out of my airplane window, a wave of panic overcame me.  My heart rate spiked as I became dizzy and nauseous. Eventually, I laid down on the floor of the airplane and vomited all over myself while over Salt Lake City…  After the flight landed, I was the first to be rushed off the plane as paramedics met me at the gate and took me to an emergency clinic.  Ah, yes, I’m the special person that had an incident on the plane.  Like I said before, being this pretty, fabulous, and popular comes with its own set of issues. While lying in the hospital bed with a heart rate of 180/60, I realized that I had a problem. Not only was my heart rate high enough to send me into cardiac arrest, but who would be there for me if I was I had a heart attack?  All of my friends reside in other states. I haven’t been home, and haven’t had any connection with most of my family since coming out of the closet at nineteen. I had taken a break from dating, and  I didn’t belong to any community either, so who did I have? All of my friends are in relationships, and they have somebody. So, why couldn’t I?  That’s when I decided to put myself out there again and try to make new friends. Above all else, if things failed, I still had planned a trip to fly out to see other friends out of state. I still had a safety net to fall back on.  This is where Phillip comes in. Photo Credit: Eventide Glow Photography I met Phillip at some point after coming back from the Portland Tea Fest. Phillip and I met at a gay club in Denver. After hanging out with him all night, we decided to follow each other on social media. At that moment, he asked if he could follow me from his drag account. I felt honored and without hesitation, I said yes. I love watching drag performances, so how cool was it that I became friends with a performer?  Phillip and I started messaging each other back and forth. And eventually, we started texting back and forth. Phillip and I had a lot in common, and before long, I had a new best friend. Shortly thereafter, I started making other friends, too. As I continued to go to the club, I met other drag queens through Phillip, and before too long, I was an ally to the drag community. I began seeing people who knew me and started to feel recognized. For the first time in a long time, especially with my sexuality, I started to feel even more accepted for who I was. However, after a few months of my newly-found community, the new started to wear off. As I went home at night, the feeling of being alone again started settling in. I’d go to bed alone, I’d wake up alone, and I’d spend all week alone. Waiting all week for the weekend to come, was too long. As I looked around, all of my friends (old and new) had a spouse or a partner. Out of all of my friends, I was one of the only ones who was single. To help fill this void, I picked up dating again.  After getting back on a dating app, I started having great conversations with a lot of wonderful guys. However, when the mention of a date came up, I started running into the same response: Oh, you live by Boulder? I’m in Denver, and you’re 20-30 miles away. You live really far.” At first, I was amused by it. 20-30 miles didn’t feel far for me, especially since I drove from Boulder to Denver every weekend to the gay club.  However, after several months of matching with guys, I kept hearing the same thing. For one of the matches, one of the guys said, “That would be considered a long-distance relationship and I don’t date outside of Denver.”  I kept asking myself, “Why did you match with me then?” I wasn’t shy about where I was from, and it even said my location/distance on my profile. After running into brick wall after brick wall, I decided to ditch the apps. Instead, I started talking to some of the other guys who were also a regular at the club. After talking to more guys in person, I started running into the same reaction: “Oh, you’re up near Boulder? That is so far from here, I’d never date anyone who lived that far.”  It became defeating. After spending the rest of the year attempting dating, nothing has happened. However, this is where I’d lean more into my friendships. Dating was shallow and began to negatively impact my self-image and confidence. However, one night, Phillip invited me out to a Drag Bingo that he was hosting. Without hesitation, I drove back down to Denver and went. When I walked in, I saw Phillip and felt immediate relief. I didn’t talk to him about any of the issues I was having, but just the thought of being around a friend was all it took. After going to drag bingo, we went out and met other friends at the drag bar.  However, as time went on, my friendship with Phillip started becoming one-sided. Some of my other friendships in Denver also began to feel one-sided as well. However, all of this came to a head when Phillip came back from out of town. He said we could hang out after coming back from Florida. However, after coming back from Florida, the story changed.  I asked him if we could hang out, and he replied, “Well, I’m doing a show tonight.” I then replied, “Well, I can come down again.” He responded, “Well, to be honest, you just live too far.” Photo Credit: Eventide Glow Photography After staring at my phone and trying to come up with logic behind his response, I replied, “What do you mean? I’m driving to you.” Phillip replied, “Well, we can’t just do anything spur of the moment. It would take too long for you to drive down. I can’t just come over, either. You not being in Denver is really hard.” After spending months and months facing rejection from dating due to me not living in Denver, I thought I was safe when it came to friends.  I never thought I’d be rejected by a friend, for the same reason.  I was crushed.  I like my town. I live near my work, I live near nature, and the city is only 30 miles away by car. If something as shallow as a 20-mile distance is keeping me from my potential friends or my potential life partner, then would I want that person in my life to begin with? What if l lived in Denver, and something happened where I had to move outside of the city limits? Would my social life end then? Isn’t it better to find out now that all of my connections were conditional, instead of waiting until I was too invested after the fact?  Yes. Better sooner than later. But, having to face this reality still hurts regardless.  I immediately cut ties with Phillip, and stopped going to Denver on a regular basis… Photo Credit: Eventide Glow Photography I went back to the rooftop of my parking garage and looked at the night sky. My vertigo became worse, and my feelings of isolation instantly came back. When they did, my vertigo quickly came back and was stronger than before.  I laid there and watched the stars spin as I rotated in place. However, this created a worse problem when my birthday came around.  I ate my birthday dinner alone. I drank tea in my apartment alone. I went and got dessert at a restaurant, alone. I had spent the last four birthdays completely by myself, and the thought of spending another birthday alone ended my night with a panic attack.  Once I calmed down, I realized that after moving to Colorado three and a half years ago, I was back in the same spot:  I was still mostly by myself. I was still lonely and still felt isolated.  However, I still had one sliver of hope left: I still had the planned trip to see another friend out of state.  Unfortunately, as time came around to visit this friend, I got sick with COVID-19 and went back to the ER due to my inability to breathe.  My safety net for connection failed. However, despite everything, I was determined to not let my panic win. I was determined to get back up, and not let the gravity of my loneliness get to me. After recovering from COVID-19, I messaged one of the Denver friends I had made at the club and asked them out to tea.  To my surprise, he said yes.  While waking up, the room spun more than more. I was disoriented, and when I got out of bed, I couldn’t stand straight.  With my head hanging down, I bear-crawled to the bathroom and pulled myself up on myosin. I reached into my medicine cabinet for my Dramamine, took three, and crawled over to the toilet. I hung my head in the toilet and waited for the Earth to stop spinning.  After falling asleep with my head on the toilet, I opened my eyes and realized that most of the spinning stopped. However, as I slowly stood up, my head weighed my body down like a bowling ball as fatigue filled the void that the dizziness left.  I walked over to the couch, sat upright, and took deep breaths. My stomach was on the floor, and after sitting for over an hour, I realized that I was going to be late for my tea date. I didn’t want to give in to the black matter that filled the void in the universe.  I had to overcome this.  I threw on some clothes, grabbed a jacket, and headed out the door to downtown Denver. While pulling into my parking spot, I looked down at my phone and saw that my friend was just twenty minutes away. I walked on the sidewalk and headed to the tea shop.  While crossing the busy downtown street, I looked up and saw a couple with their newborn.  I started getting dizzier, as I looked over to my right and saw a gay couple holding hands while walking down the sidewalk. I started getting more nauseous as I looked to my left and saw a group of five people in their twenties who were all talking over each other and laughing. Then, the thought hit me: What if the friend I’m meeting downtown, rejects me for not living in Denver? I’ve met countless people here before this point, and every single one has rejected me for the same reason. So why would this one be different? My lungs began to tighten as my heart rate spiked. As I looked up again, I saw a couple holding hands while walking past me. The sight began to make me hyperventilate as my head began to spin so fast that it nearly brought me to my knees.  I walked over to the side of a building, leaned on the building, and threw up. My heart rate continued to race as I broke out in a cold sweat and began to shake as I crawled back to my car.  Once I made it to my car, I started the engine sped out of my parking spot, and continued to speed back home.  The further away I got from Denver, the more my heart rate slowed. As I drove on the interstate, my lungs began to open up again while my shaking slowed to a halt.  Then, I got a text from my new friend.  “Where are you? I’m here.” I then froze up and realized I just ditched this potential new friend. I wiped more vomit off my face as I replied, “I’m sorry.” I sat my phone down on my passenger seat and cried for the rest of the drive home… Photo Credit: Eventide Glow Photography As I laid on the roof of my apartment’s parking garage, my head began to spin so much that I began to levitate off the ground and float up into the sky. As I floated into the sky, I looked around and noticed that I had the entire universe around me. I looked in the distance and noticed that the universe was still. There were planets of various sizes.  There were comments passing by.  Oh, look, over there! It’s Saturn’s rings! They’re surprisingly flat.  Then, as. I looked up and around,  I also saw that the stars that burned the brightest were also surrounded by the empty void of space.  I started to become comforted by the idea that I was floating above in outer space. Just like the stars above, maybe my light is just shining bright in a void that surrounds me.  However, as I reflect on my 9th year in tea, I was not always surrounded by a void. When I launched my blog’s fundraiser, dozens of people supported it. It made my light shine. When Trident Booksellers in Boulder asked me to help host a tea-tasting series with them, my star shine burned even more brightly. When a potter gifted me a tea pet and tea cake out of the clear blue for my birthday, my star kept burning bright. When various tea companies reached out to me to collaborate with them, and when I sold out a class at the PDX Tea Fest, and when I got to spend a weekend in Oregon with my best friend, my star burned the brightest.  The things that kept my star burning bright were spread across the country like how stars are spread across the galactic map. It kept the view of the night sky bright at night. However, when I returned home, I returned to the dark void that surrounded me. I realized that the more I tried to seek that light here at home, the darker my surroundings became. Although I can make it work in other lifetimes, I can’t seem to make it work in this lifetime here at home.  Loneliness has won.  Maybe if I wasn’t abandoned by my family after coming out of the closet, things would have ended up differently. Maybe my life wouldn’t have been projected across several different states across the country, and maybe I’d have a place to visit and call home. Maybe I wouldn’t have spent nearly every birthday and holiday by myself over the past decade by myself. Maybe I would actually see a greater purpose to the meaning of life, instead of being weighed down by the heavy feelings of loneliness on a daily basis. But, that’s for the universe to know.  In previous blog anniversary posts, I was on a train crashing into a canyon. I was also on a ship that was sinking. But, no one wants to be on a train derailment. No one wants to be on a sinking ship. So, I decided to quit sinking and decided to quit crashing. Instead, I will just float in space until I figure out how to come back down to earth. As I float in-between the silence in the expanding universe above, maybe my light will reach someone.  Maybe someone will see my star shine in another lifetime.  There’s a song quote by St. Vincent from her 2018 song ‘Slow Disco’, and I will end this year’s anniversary post with those lyrics… “I sway in place, To a slow disco.  There’s blood in my ears, and a fool in the mirror.  And the pain of mistakes, couldn’t get any clearer. Am I thinking what everybody’s thinking?  I’m so glad I came, but I can’t wait to leave...” ~Cody Wade The Oolong Drunk “Blissfully Tea Drunk With…” Photo Credit: Eventide Glow Photography Thank you Trident in Boulder, for Tea Salons. It was one of the only few times I got to drink tea with other people in person this year. Also, thank you to everyone who supported my blog fundraiser this year. Thank you to everyone who sent me tea, and thank you to everyone who believed in me. Last but not least, thank you Luke, MacKenna, Kayley, and Karissa. I hope to be as beautiful as you all one day. You are all the only reasons why I stayed grounded, and kept me from floating away from Earth this year.   Click the Links Below to Read Previous Blog Anniversary Posts: 4 Year Anniversary (and Special Announcement) 5 Years in Tea: My Side of the Story 6 Year Blogiversary: SOS! The Sinking of the RMS Tea 7 Year Blogiversary - You Sold Out Your Culture 8 Year Blog Anniversary: Train-Wrecking my Career Photo Credit: Eventide Glow Photography

Hello hello! As my blog turns 9 in JUST a few days, I began to reflect some of the lessons I've learned over the years since starting my tea-blogging journey. Since starting, I’ve traveled all over the country teaching about various tea -related topics, while being published dozens of times in various publications across the globe. I never expected my tea-journey to take me so far, and yet, here I am!  Below are 9 life lessons I’ve learned through tea. Note: My actual 9-year blog anniversary post will still be posted on January 8th.  When someone decides they don’t like you, let them. When I started my blogging journey, I got into many social circles through 1 other particular blogger. I also got into the tea subreddit as well. However, I quickly realized that I didn’t fit into these circles. At the time, I was so discouraged that I nearly quit blogging. When I started standing on my own and detached myself from certain circles, I became much happier and started enjoying blogging for the first time. What I’ve learned is, that if someone doesn’t like you, let them. You’ll never win. You have to like yourself first, and the rest really will follow. It may not instantly happen, but it will eventually. Just keep at it.  As cliche as this sounds, be yourself.  Over the last 9 years of blogging, I’ve learned that there’s certainly a personality type that does better in certain social circles, over others. However, I’ve learned that any time I’ve tried to fit the mold of certain circles, the less happy and less motivated I become. Around year 5 of my blog, I became tired of blogging and myself. There came a point where i woke up and said, “'Fuck it, I can’t fit the mold anymore. I’m going to be myself, and I don’t care what happens”. When I decided to live my most authentic self and stopped trying to fit a mold, two things happened: First, I lost a lot of followers. Second, I gained a lot of new ones who actually liked me for who I was. Not only was I more authentic, but my following was also more authentic.  Honesty is not always the best policy.  As a writer, I’ve always had a stand-point that it was my duty to always tell the truth no matter what. However, while I still believe this, I’ve learned that there’s a right time and place for everything. I’ve managed to burn many bridges over the years by being honest. However, for honesty to be impactful, you have to use tact. Otherwise, it’ll come off like complaining. Not everyone wants to hear the truth, which is fine. But you have to be prepared for the repercussions of telling the truth -- especially if it's at the wrong time. Is it okay to not know what you’re doing. When I first got into blogging, I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t see any bloggers in the industry that felt similar enough to me, to take inspiration from. I was inspired by many incredible bloggers, but I could never see myself go down a similar path. I've learned that when you’re doing something new, you’ll never know what you’re doing. That’s because you’re going down a tunnel without light at the end. But, that’s the best thing possible, because that means you are the light at the end of the tunnel. Continue doing things you don’t know, and continue going down a path with no light at the end. Lead the way :) Internet friends are not always who they say they are. Social Media is a wonderful tool to connect people from all over the world. I have made many incredible internet friends. I have also spent a great deal of money, meeting some of these friends in person. However, they were not who they made themselves to be. They were entirely different in person. Everyone has the capability of selling themselves differently online than in person, including myself. Not intentionally, of course. It’s like hearing your own voice being played back to you: You don’t truly know how you present yourself. The same goes for everyone else.  Don’t measure your success against others.  Comparison is the theft of joy, is how the saying goes. I don’t particularly find this to be true because the theft of my own personal joy is when my haters are genuinely happy. Nothing gets me angrier… All jokes aside, I’d often look at other bloggers and used to think that they were somehow leagues above me and I’d never measure up to them. However, it wasn’t until 3-4 years ago, that I received a message from a new tea blogger who told me that they want to be as successful as I am. I didn’t feel successful. I didn’t feel anymore/less worthy than anyone else. I struggle a lot. Who would look up to me?! That’s when it clicked for me, that the people who I thought were leagues above me, weren't really that much better off than I was. They have the same thoughts as I do. They probably didn’t feel successful either. They’re probably measuring themselves to someone else as well.  We’re only human. We just have to be proud of ourselves.  Not everyone deserves kindness. Over the past 9 years, I’ve learned that I have extended my kindness to people who did not deserve it. This isn’t unique to me, as everyone has felt this at one time or another in their lives. However, given that the tea community is such a niche community, actively avoiding one person can hinder you. It’s unfortunate, but burning the bridge with one singular person can set you back months, or years, of career progress. But how do you stay true to yourself? How do you talk highly of someone you absolutely cannot stand?  In my 9 years, I’ve learned one very important term: Indifference. In my blog, I’ve learned that it’s better to be indifferent towards people you dislike. For me at least, especially in social situations, I’ve changed how I talk about people I dislike.  “I don’t know them,” is one thing I say. Or, “I don’t have an opinion about them one way or another.”  Or, when being asked if someone should work with a specific vendor I strongly dislike, I’ll reply, “I can’t say I had the best experience with that particular person, but others have and seem to like them. Oh, and by the way, tell them Cody says to go fuck themselves.” (That’s indifference, right? Right?! :p)  Ghosting is  burning a bridge. In my last year of blogging, I lost my longest friendship in tea. In my 9 years of blogging, I've learned that communication goes a long way. Since the tea industry is spread thin, yet large, most of the time the only form of communication is through online communication. However, there have been many times when I've formulated friendships through blogging, and given distance, the only way we're able to communicate is through social media. However, some of these friendships ended when they left me on read (not for a few days or a week, but for months on end). I used to take it personally and I'd respond to this by moving on from these friendships.  I was told that with friendships, people can come and go. Sometimes, if a friend is going through a hard time or going through a life change, I shouldn't take it personally because you never know what's going on with the other person and I should be more patient/forgiving. And when I cut off these friendships for being ghosted, I was burning a bridge. However, I've learned that when you have friendships whose primary form of communication is through virtual communication, ghosting someone for months on end, you're the one killing that connection. You're the one cutting ties with that person. If you value someone, you can't expect them to stay in your life by being avoidant and shutting them out. You can't expect that person to still be there for you. You can't have it both ways. Ghosting is burning a bridge. You can't mix water with oil. In my 9 years of blogging, I’ve been able to conclude that as a generalization, I personally do not get along with the Seattle or the Chicago tea community. 90% of issues or bridges burned with tea people, either live in Chicago or Seattle. I don’t know why that is. It’s not intentional at all.  However, when writing my blog series ‘Spilling The Tea’, I came to one conclusion over another: Just because I was victimized by someone, doesn't mean they don’t feel victimized by me.  I’ve learned that sometimes, not everything is personal. Sometimes you meet people when they’re at their lowest, or sometimes, you meet people in a weird circumstance that creates the perfect opportunity for you to not get along with them (or maybe they’re from Chicago or Seattle — haha). However, one important life lesson I’ve learned is, that water and oil do not mix. Sometimes, you may not always agree with a trusted friend. Sometimes, some connections just don’t work out. It doesn’t mean you’re a victim. It doesn't mean you victimized someone else. Sometimes, it is what it is. And you know what? That’s perfectly okay.  I've had to accept the fact that no one else can be as pretty, as popular, or as perfect as me (haha). Conclusion: Over the last 9 years, I’ve learned a lot! However, now that I’m coming up on year 10, I hope to keep learning. Thank you for following me, and drinking with me for 9 years. I’m very lucky and very fortunate. See you on January 8th for my blog’s 9-year anniversary!  Best wishes,  ~Cody Wade Aka The Oolong Drunk “Blissfully Tea Drunk…”

This is rich, especially coming from a social media influencer… I know what you’re probably thinking. It’s either, “Cody’s unhinged again”, or, “Why is the pot calling the kettle a, well narcissist?”  After working in the tea industry for over a decade, and having a blog for 8+ years, I’ve met a lot of people within various facets of the tea industry — all the way from tea bloggers, educators, high-level executives, and even lower-level social media influencers. I’ve also noticed that despite the industry's image of warmth, love, and self-care, the industry from every angle is very cold and uninviting.   Regardless of whichever type of tea industry professional, there seems to be people with narcissistic tendencies scattered consistently throughout. So what is it about the tea industry that harbors this specific personality trait? Does this have anything to do with why the industry is cold and uninviting once you peel the first layer of the onion back? Below are some of my observations, and while not everything is rooted in fact, I will say it with an authoritative stance as if it’s a fact. So, let's dive in! The Ritual:  Tea ceremonies can categorized into two main types: gong-fu and high-tea.  For many people who drink gong-fu, gong-fu tea is used as escapism to help detach from mental health stressors, and to focus on the senses with breathing techniques. This in itself, is a form of meditation. According to the Healer Within Foundation , the practice of gong-fu tea is an actual form of mindful meditation. However, according to the Oxford Academic , mindful meditation is connected to Hinduism and the Buddhist belief system. One of the major tenets of Hinduism is enlightenment. Given that enlightenment is one of the major tenets of Hinduism, it invites the narcissistic personality trait by making the practicers of Hindus believe that they are more knowledgeable than others. The superiority complex that’s associated with narcissism and the tie-in with the Hindu belief was studied extensively, and written about by PHD and Author, Dr. Pilar Jennings, whose career incapulizes the study of both psychotherapy and Buddhist meditation. With all of this, the link between gong-fu tea and meditation, with traditional roots in the Hindu tenant of enlightenment, is a short link between connecting gong-fu tea and narcissism. Sitting at the head of the tea table of gong-fu tea, and the idea of leading a tea session can loosely be linked to having a superiority complex.  However, the link doesn’t just exist with gong-fu tea, the link also exists with high-tea as well. According to Psychology Today, they link that chefs of fine dining intertwine their self-worth into the cuisine they create. This can also translate into high-society as well. According to a journal published in 2013, upper-class individuals suffer from greater psychological entitlement and narcissism. Given that high tea is rooted in classist institutions, the link between high tea and narcissism is a strong one. Tea Industry Professionals:  In my experiences as a tea blogger, I’ve worked with a varying amount of tea companies that operated on a small scale, to a massive global production scale, and everything in between. According to a paper published on the Social Science Research Network, CEOs have a statistically higher level of narcissism and a higher level of self-importance.  In my observations of the tea industry over the past decade, narcissism isn’t specific to high-level executives either. According to a journal published in 2023 on Science Direct, there’s a link between narcissism and entrepreneurship. Given that there has to be a high level of drive, and self-importance to guide that confidence, business owners on a small scale are more susceptible to narcissistic personality disorder tendencies as well. While I don’t have a direct calculation, I want to point out that you could indicate that a self-important person who partakes in an industry that’s rooted in an attitude that drives self-importance through enlightenment, there is an observation that could be made that this invites a self-important person to partake in a practice that better highlights self-importance. This means that the door is open for a higher percentage of narcissism to flow into the tea industry, compared to other industries. Tea Bloggers and Self-Care:  It's no hidden fact that the rise of social media has increased the rise of both narcissism and anxiety among young adults. According to a study published in 2008 , researchers indicated that there is a causation between self-image and narcissism, tied to social media and the youth. This takes various shapes, but how does it take shape within the tea social-media blogosphere?  Self-Care  Given the large amount of tea bloggers and tea companies that promote self-care, there is actually a link between self-care and narcissism. New York Psychiatrist Dr. Samantha Boardman once wrote that the psychological connection between self-care and self-love can be a tightrope balance between being mindful into being narcissistic. The idea of caring for oneself can be so self-reassuring that it’s more about you — not the people around you. There is also a link between altruism and narcissism as well. When tea industry bloggers and professionals push the narrative of self-care, they’re the link between sharing self-love, and altruism. According to a medical-reviewed article on MentalHealth.com , altruism masks the personality traits of people who martyr themselves for a belief system. Within social media, there are countless amounts of people who primarily post and lead workshops about self-care, self-love, and self-meditation. While those things are not necessarily a bad thing, surprise surprise , they also make a full circle back into the narcissistic trait of enlightenment... The Bottom Line: It's All Narcissism   Based on my findings, you could conclude that there’s an industry of narcissists who congregate around a narcissistic-driven activity with a narcissistic-enlightened attitude, which accompanies financially wealthy and upper-classist narcissistic ideals, pushed and marketed by people with narcissistic entrepreneur self-important drive, which is drunk and talked about by other altruistic narcissists on social media platforms that harbor and grow narcissistic personalities. To make things more comical, tea industry professionals will also award themselves with awards when given the opportunity. In 2023, at the World Tea Expo, they awarded one of their board members (the same board members who voted on tea industry award winners) an award…. Over the past decade in this industry, I can’t count on one hand the number of people I’ve seen who dropped out of the industry because they didn’t receive the outward praise they sought from being within the world of tea. These same people leave the industry disappointed because they looked at other industry narcissists, and realized they didn’t benefit in the same way as the other industry narcissists — the same narcissists who’d boast about knowing how to make tea ‘the right way’ while leading a gong-fu or meditation session. Some of the signs of narcissistic tendencies I’ve noticed over the past decade, in the tea industry are, — When someone says they know how to make tea ‘the right way’ — They offer tea and meditation, but only through them, especially if meditation and self-care is more about the host than it is the audience — When a high-level executive of a tea company regularly posts photos of themselves plucking/making tea, especially if they have the frame of a person who has never worked a day of hard labor in their life — Their posts and photos of their tea and meditation, are primarily only photos of them drinking tea while meditating — If they got their high-level position at a tea company through their family/nepotism — Someone who is aggressively insistent on leading a tea ceremony and wont share the experience by not letting others pour tea at the same said-ceremony — If they are white and American, and claim they know more about the culture and history of Asian Tea than the people whose culture it is itself — If they are white and American, and claim that 'tea caused all of the world’s wars', which goes back into manipulating a foreign culture to fit their personal narrative — If the tea drinker is male and starts a podcast instead of going to therapy — If they run a tea blog and quit within 6-12 months of launching it because they don’t have the audience they think they should be receiving — If their Instagram-grid has more photos of them with tea, or enjoying tea, than tea by itself without them — If you post photos of you leading a tea ceremony with people surrounding you, and post this on a semi-consistent basis. If you ever question why the tea industry is cold, cliquey, and uninviting  despite  the warmth it promotes on every single level, you might take a step back and realize that this industry is rooted in self-involvement at every single level. While not everyone in the tea industry is a narcissist, the industry attracts and prevails the narcissistic personality type. If you peel back the onion layers of this industry, you'll see that a lot of the industry is not in it to help you and is certainly not here for the love of tea; behind their front, they're in it for themselves.  And while not everyone in the industry is a narcissist who is in it for themselves (and while I started this sentence with a coordinating conjunction and end it as a run-on sentence),   and while there are a lot of genuine and amazing people in the industry, at the end of the day,  I’m a narcissist, you’re a narcissist, and simply -- we’re all narcissists.  With much love to myself and my accomplishments, ~ Cody aka The Oolong Drunk "Blissfully Tea Drunk...."

Hello hello! Welcome this year's Top Albums of 2024 to Drink Tea To! This year's post will include 15 albums to drink tea to. These albums were hand-selected, to listen to while drinking tea. I strongly recommend listening to these albums in their entirety, and let the artist's work, and your tea, take you through a meditative tea drinking experience. Below are the top 15! Let's dig in! (Photo: Tea Time with Jamie XX's 'In Waves', album cover property of Young Record Label, under James Thomas Smith) Top 15: 15. The Tortured Poets Department, The Anthology by Taylor Swift 14. My Method Actor by Nilufer Yanya 13. Evergreen by Soccer Mommy 12. Paradise by Purple Disco Machine 11. Ten Fold by Yaya Bey Top 10: 10: What a Devistating Turn of Events by Rachel Chinouriri English singer-songwriter Rachel Chinouriri released her indie-rock deubt studio album in 2024 This album's cohesion with its theme, helps drive home a raw emotion that pairs perfectly with tea time. Tea Pairings: Sheng Puer or White Taa 9: The Great Impersonator by Halsey Halsey's 5th studio album is one of the most raw and vulnerable albums released in 2024. The album's focus is on Halsey's coping with being diagnosed with both Lupus and a rare type of t-cell disorder, while also going through a divorce. Halsey's vulnerability is moving, and creates one special pairing with tea time. Tea Pairings: Shou Puer, Black Tea, or Sheng Puer 8: My Light, My Destroyer by Cassandra Jenkens Cassandra Jenken's 3rd indie-rock studio album is one of the strongest albums, lyrically, released in all of 2024. One of the highest critically acclaimed albums of 2024, this album's atmosphere and vulnerability makes this one incredible tea pairing. Tea Pairings: Oolong Tea or White Tea 7: Loss of Life by MGMT Loss of Light is MGMT's most unique album to date. This alternative rock album takes a large introspective look at the passing of time while growing up in a society that's passing by. The rawness of this album, and uniqueness in alt-rock production, creates a unique and vulnerable pairing with tea time. Tea Pairings: Sheng Puer, Shou Puer, or Black Tea 6: All Born Screaming by St. Vincent St. Vincent released her very first self-produced album, and is one massive tribute to classic 90's rock. With contributions from artists such as Dave Grohl and Cate Le Bon, this album creates one effortless and smooth atmosphere to drink tea with Tea Pairings: Oolong Tea, White Tea, or Sheng Puer. 5: Endlessness by Nala Sinephro This experimental jazz album uses orchestral and electronic elements. While being one of the most unique and out-of-pocket jazz albums to ever be released, this album creates one of the biggest calming and meditative atmospheres in all of 2024. Out of every album on this list, this album was the best to meditate to. Tea Pairings: All 4: Imaginal Disc by Magdalena Bay Imaginal Disc is one of Magdelena Bay's more pop-forward albums. This indie-pop album takes a unique look at pop music, and makes it an artistic experience. While being meditative, this album is also smooth to listen to and makes for light hearted and fun tea pairing experience. Tea Pairings: White Tea, Sheng Puer, Shou Puer 3: In Waves by Jame XX After a decade, Jamie XX released is 2nd album. While being one of the most successful breakout stars from indie-rock group The XX, Jamie XX created a senslessly-fun electronic album that borders the line between dance and meditation. Make sure to turn up the bass when listening this album, as it'll create a tea-pairing that will have you moving in your seat. Tea Pairings: All 2: Girl with No Face by Allie X Girl With No Face is Allie X's very first self-produced album, and is an ode to 80's goth synth-pop. The 80's have been done to death (in my opinion), however, Allie X brings a fun and unique perspective to the genre that feels like a love letter. This album also alludes to the fact that she feels like an out cast (due in-part to suffering from a chronic illness) and dives head-first "living in a weird world". This album's message is inclusive while being cheeky, emotional, and outright fun. Tea Pairings: Sheng Puer, Black Tea, and Shou Puer 1: BRAT by Charli XCX Charli XCX's BRAT consumed the zeitgeist for all of 2024. While this album is a fun pop/EDM album on the surace, the album's lyrics are hard-hitting and deal with depression, anxiety, and existential crisis by the larger-picture of life. This album's lyrical rawness was not only jarring, but also relatable and personable. While this album did hit the mainstream, it's a great indicator that society is ready to hit massive issues head-on -- something that has rarely been seen on such a large scale. The smooth production with the emotional lyrics, makes this for the best tea and music pairing of 2024. Tea Pairings: All Conclusion: 2024 was a big year for music. While music is so personable to so many people, hopefully this list will help you branch out into giving your tea time a new and unique experience. What albums of 2024 have YOU paired with? Continue the conversation on instagram and let me know here!! I can't wait to see what 2025 brings in terms of music. Happy steeping! Best wishes, ~Cody Wade aka The Oolong Drunk "Blissfully Tea Drunk" (Photo: Tea Time with BRAT by Charli XCX, Album Cover Property of Atlantic Recording Corporation)

Hello hello! Earlier in the year, I did an 8-part series titled 'Spilling The Tea' where I talked about different lessons I learned from various life experiences. This dramatic series gave an intropsective look at some of the drama that I have encountered, and how I leanred and grew from it. In preparation for the follow-up, 'Spilling More Tea', here's a link to every post in the series. Part 1: Cutting Toxic People Out of Our Lives Part 2: Killing Your Ex Part 3: Destroying my Longest Friendship Part 4: The Dangers of Meeting Internet Strangers at the Cat Pee Manor Part 5: The Worst Tea Job I've Ever Taken Part 6: I Ruined a Friendship over AI Part 7: A Closeted Gay Ruined my Life Part 8: Series Finale, The Person I Hate The Most Thank you to everyone who supported this series! I will see you again very soon! Best wishes, ~ Cody Wade aka The Oolong Drunk "Blissfully Tea Drunk"

Hello hello! Welcome to this year's 'Best Of'!! Since I started my blog almost 9 years ago, I've done a year-end 'Best Of' list nearly every year, to help highlight some of the best tea! However, the world of tea is so expansive, that it's hard to limilt it to one big generalization. So below, I'll be breaking down the 'Best Of' in various categories, and at the end, I'll list the top 7 best tea companies in all of 2024. If a company made this list, even if they're not in the top seven, they are still one of the best of 2024. Note: The blue 'X' by each company, will be a direct link to their shop/social media pages. Also, given the vastness and inaccessibility of the Asian tea market to Western Markets, Asia will largely not be represented on this list. Let's dive in! Best Tea Retail Stores: America: (Split by Time Zone) Pacific: Smith Tea Maker, Flagship Store, Portland OR x Mountain: Trident Booksellers, Boulder CO x Central: Northeast Tea Shop, Minneapolis MN x Eastern: Te Company, New York City NY x America, Miscellaneous: Best New Tea Shop: Seven Tea House, Leesburg VA x Best High Tea: Tea Around Town, Washington DC x Best Queer-Friendly Tea Space : Eli Tea Bar, Chicago IL x Best Mobile Tea Shop/Food Truck:  The Chai Shoppe, Huntsville AL x Australia: Sydney: TopoTea x Melbourne: Teamoo x Perth: Teassential Tea Store & Brew Bar x Canada: Vancouver: Cultivate x Montreal: Camellia Sinesis x Toronto: Tao Tea Leaf x Halifax: World Tea House x England: London: Postcard Teas x Bristol: Kimono Kimono x Brighton: Birds & Blend Tea Co. x Birmingham: Whittard of Chelsea Birmingham x Wales: Tydden Mawr Tea Room x Europe: Paris: La Maison des Trois Thés x Helsinki:  Nari Tea x Madrid: Teterimundi x Barcelona: Caj Chai x Rome: BiblioTeq Tea Shop x Warsaw: Same Fusy Tea Room and Cafe x Copenhagen: Sing Tehus x Athens: Ohayo Teahouse x Lisbon: Companhia Portugeza do Cha x Stockholm: The Tea Centre of Stockholm x Vienna: Jager TEE x Berlin: BOHEA Teehandlung x Budapest: Flying Bird Tea House x Zurich: Shui Tang x Oslo: Spill The Tea x New Zealand: Auckland: Tea Total x Hamilton: Zealong Tea Estate x Mexico: Mexico City: Tumaste x Tijuana: Sinensis x Middle East: Istanbul : Beta Tea House x Tel Aviv: HoYum Tea x South America: Sao Paulo: Talcha x Rio: Moncloa Tea Boutique x Buneos Aries: Pei Chen Tea Palace x Lima: Quintessence Tea Shop x Santiago: Milagritos x Travel: Best Tea Travel Destination : Gorreana Tea Estate x Events: Best North American Tea Expo:  2024 Toronto Tea Festival x Best European Tea Expo:  2024 Berlin Tea Fest x Best Singular Tea Event:  Swift-Tea High Tea at the Brown Palace Hotel, May 2024 x Best Reoccouring Tea Event:  Midnight Tea Party, hosted by Sip Jojo Tea x Best Speaker/Presentation at a Tea Expo : Nadia De La Vega, The Power of Partnerships & CommuniTEA, 2024 Toronto Tea Festival x Best Tea Booth at a Tea Expo/Other Event:  Old Ways Tea, The 2024 San Francisco Tea Expo x Best Tea Booth at a Tea Expo/Other Event, International:  Yoshien, 2024 Berlin Tea Fest x Tea Types, Regions, and Products: Best African-Sourced Tea: Cured Tea Leaves x Best Taiwan Tea Source: SatoTea x Best Japanese Tea Source: Nio Japanese Teas x Best Sencha: Ippodo x Best Matcha: Yamasan Kyoto Uji x Best Indian Teas: Gopaldhara Tea Estate x Best Chinese Tea Source: Yunnan Sourcing x Best Puer Tea Source: FarmerLeaf Tea x Best Chai Tea: Chala Chai x Best American Grown Tea: The Great Mississippi Tea Company x Best Wellness Tea: Fresh Steeps x Best Prepared Canned Tea: TWRL Milk Tea x Best Tea Advent Calendar: David's Tea x Best Tea Club: White2Tea Tea Club x Best Online Tea Shop, Accessories: Tea Thoughts x Best New Online Tea Shop:  Tea Rebel x Best Tea Wholesaler: Sugimoto Tea Company x Best Tea-Related Food Product: Tea Wine, Tethos x Best Innovative Tea Product: Boba Protein x Tea Drinks: Best Boba Tea Shop:  Bobcat Tea House, Portland OR x Best Milk Tea Shop:  Milk Tea People, Denver CO x Best Shop for Fruit Tea:  Tea Maison, Las Vegas NE x Best Milk Tea: Matcha Brown Sugar from SocieTEA, Springfield MO x Best Chai Tea: Masala Chai from Chai Guys, London, England x Pottery & Teaware: Best American Potter:  Anj, Gushu Studios x Best International Potter:  Andrzej Bero x Best Teaware Educator: Mark Mohler, SanGuine Tea Pots for Northeast Tea Expo at Penn State University x Best Tea Pets: Marsha Townsend x Marketing/Branding: Best Tea Branding: Rockys Matcha x Best Tea Packaging : Kiani Tea x Best Social Media Product Photography: Mikazuki Tea x Best Retail Product Photography: T2 x Best Company Merchandising : Spirit Tea x Best Online Marketing: itoen x Best Social Media Marketing Campaign: David's Tea, for their line of canned tea x Media/Social Media: Best Tea Blog:  Nicole Wilson, Tea For Me Please x Best Blog Series:  'Spill The Tea' by Cody Wade, The Oolong Drunk x Best Tea Youtube:  Mei Leaf x Best Tea TikTok:  Jessie's Tea House x Best Tea Instagram:  Kimberly of @kimberleyskyusu x Best Tea Social-Media Photography:  Ginger Woo, @JetCityTea x Best Tea Personality:  Tim and Jennifer, of @TimandJennifer x Best Social-Media LIVE Tea Commentator:  Samara Flink, TICE Tea Special, The Snark Squad, Facebook LIVE x Best Online Tea Community:  The Snark Squad, Facebook x Best Tea Discord:  CommuniTEA x Best Tea App:  My Tea Pal x Worst Social Media Tea Community: A tie between /r/tea and /r/puer, subreddits, Reddit. Education: Best Tea Publication: 80 Degrees Magazine x Best Tea Education Facilitator/Coordinator: Stephanie Wilson, PDX Tea Fest x Best Tea Educator: Babette Donaldson, of T Ching x Best Tea Class: Tea Salons, Hosted by Cody Wade and Peter Jones of Trident Booksellers, Boulder CO x Top 7 Tea Shops of 2024 In random order, the following tea shops are the top 7 tea shops in all of 2024. Snarky Tea Snarky Tea made this year's list, for having innovative marketing, fun branding, and making tea accessible in a unique (and snarky) way. Their ability to create community and be inviting to tea drinkers of all kinds, is something that the greater tea industry is lacking. They set an example that other tea companies should follow. ( Link ) One River Tea One River Tea is a three-person operation, and made this year's list for their ability to quietly support the tea industry as a whole, while still being able to release some of the best teas in the market. One River Tea works with various artist to help them source their own teas. Not only is their footprint large (yet quiet), they continually release high quality single origin teas that are out of this world. (Link) Bitterleaf Teas Bitterleaf Teas made this year's list for their incredible abiltiy to conintue to release some of the best Chinese teas you can buy. Their quality, accessibility, and unique style makes them one of the strongest powerhouses in all of tea. (Link) Rivers and Lakes Tea Rivers and Lakes Tea made this year's list for their ability to travel and source single origin teas, while making them accessible to a US market. Despite that this company is ran on a very small scale, they're able to produce a solid line-up that never disappoints. (Link) White2Tea White2Tea made this year's list for their ability to contiually release some of the best Chinese teas you can buy. White2Tea continues to expeirments and push the envalope on 'tradition', and somehow always sticks the landing. A lot goes into this small business, and yet, they make it look effortless. (Link) Trident Booksellers Trident Booksellers made this list for being one of the best cafe's to exist. They carry a wide-variety of tea, and helps tea farmers by sorucing directly from them. They sell tea at a lower cost with the idea of sharing the love of tea, while supporting their local commiunity. Not only is Trident a prime example of what a cafe should look like, they are a business model that all tea shops and cafe's should take note of. (Link) David's Tea David's tea made this year's list for their relentless innovation, and their ability to make tea accessable to the general public. David's Tea is a wonderful tea experience for newcomers, and fun experience for long-time tea drinekrs. While many companies of this size would be hesitant to push the envalope, David's Tea refuses to let the idea of failure stop them. Their ability to welcome failure and consistently try new things, has actually made them successful. (Link) Let's raise a cup of tea to 2024, and can't wait to see what comes of 2025! See you next year! Best wishes, ~Cody Wade aka The Oolong Drunk "Blissfully Tea Drunk"

Hello hello! I wanted to stop by and say hello. So, hello! After the finale of my series 'Spilling The Tea', I sort of stopped of and sopped updating the website. After receiving various messages of people asking when I'd return to the blog (well, when I'd bring the 'SpillingThe Tea' series back), I figured I should make some sort of post explaining where I've been, and when I'm returning: First, I hate to day it, but I'm not sure when I'm returning. I know it'll be soon, just, not sure on how soon. Second, I disappeared because I'm currently working on a book. Yes, I'm writing a book! The novel I'm writing is fiction, and has the following synopsis: Lane is a gay famous fashion model from Houston, whose boyfriend died under strange circumstances. Shortly after the death of his boyfriend, Lane is unexpectedly diagnosed with HIV. Lane's gay-cousin Kevin to move in with Lane to keep an eye on him while exploring city-life for the very first time. As Lane tries to figure out how he contracted the virus, Kevin investigates what really happed to Lane's boyfriend, and uncovers all of the dark secrets that Lane is hiding from everyone... The book has heavy themes of chosen-family and loneliness -- supported by a backbone of showing the destructive nature of organized-religion, while showing many of the unspoken struggles that queer people still face in the South today. The book follows four friends, and is loosely inspired by HBO’s Girls, and is classified as a comedy-drama, that has a heavy social commentary of how much more progress we still need to make in today's society. My goal with publishing this novel is to push boundaries of acceptance, raise money for non-profits like The Trevor Project, and ultimately -- my biggest goal with the book is to eventually get it banned in Southern states, such as Florida, Texas, Mississippi, etc. I'm not doing this to kindly ask the goal-post to move over, I'm doing this to shove my way through the current barriers places upon queer-people. I will not move the goal-post over, I'll be tearing it down and building a new one, and will be doing it kicking-and-screaming if I have to. We all deserve better. I have already been working on it for four months. While I work on completing my novel, I'll proceed to searching for ways to get the story published. I will keep everyone updated here, and on my instagram (@theoolongrunk). I can't wait to share with everyone what I've been working on! I'll see you all very soon. Best wishes, ~Cody Wade aka The Oolong Drunk "Blissfully Tea Drunk"

Spilling The Tea, Part 8 (Series Finale): The Person I Hate the Most  Dear Reader,  I believe we’ve gotten the closest we've ever gotten, this year. I have admitted so many things to you, and I truly believe you probably understand me better than anyone else. I’ve tried my best to paint myself as complex, complicated, and above all else, I’ve tried to paint myself as human… However, despite all of my confessions and despite all of my reasons, there’s one that sits above all the rest. In the pettiest way possible, there is one person who really stands above the rest for me. There is one person who I’ve had the most run-ins with and is the person I actually hate the absolute most. But first, we need to take a detour. I need to walk you through what a typical week of my life looks like. My week starts on Saturday. I wake up to a tear-stained pillowcase, eat breakfast, and scroll dating apps for a few minutes. I swipe right on a few cute guys, see that all of my messages in my inbox have still been ignored, and then move on with my morning. I’ll then pack my backpack, drive over to Trident Booksellers in Boulder, and order tea. I’ll sit at a booth/table, pull out my Word document on my laptop, and I’ll get to writing. “I’ll start a new series called ‘Spilling the Tea’. One of the most reoccurring compliments I receive on my blog is that I am always raw and vulnerable when I do decide to open up (specifically, on my Blog anniversary Posts). So, why not start a series where I can showcase that?”  After pondering for a few moments, I gathered an outline. Eight stores from my past. Eight truths. Eight life lessons.  At the time, it felt pretty simple.  However, it wasn’t.  I was digging deep into my past because overall, I keep failing. I keep losing. I keep going through the same trauma and turmoil over and over again. So, with these eight stories where I can explore some of the most chaotic moments in my past few years, just maybe I can pinpoint where I went wrong.  After all, every story in this series took place within the same 16-month period. Crazy, right? I know. Two to three hours later, I’ll look up from my laptop and look around. I’ll see a mixture of guys around. Some of them are really cute. I’ll secretly hope some of them are gay and think to myself, “I can’t really tell which way they swing… Maybe they’ll be on a dating app.”  So, I’ll pull out a gay dating app, check to see that one of the guys is actually gay, and send them a ‘hello’ message.  They’ll ignore the message, so I’ll look around the shop again.  I’ll then go to work on a new blog post, pack up my backpack, have a short convo with the shop owner before leaving for home.   Once home, I’ll go to the gym and work out. I’ll then eat dinner, drink tea while watching a movie (typically Ghibli), and tinker with the idea of going to a gay bar down in Denver. It’s around thirty minutes away from my apartment, which is usually the thing holding me the most back from just automatically saying yes. After bartering with myself for an hour, I’ll get off the couch, get dressed, and fully submit myself to the idea of going to Denver… An hour later, I’ll walk into the gay nightclub. It's the same one where I keep seeing my ex from the second story in the series ). And, this is the same place where I regularly watch drag.  I’ll walk around the club awkwardly, sit and wait to watch Drag by myself and say hi to whoever sits by me. The Drag show will go on, and for those thirty minutes, I’ll lose myself in the performance. I’ll cheer on the performer, take a photo or two, and enjoy the time alone.  Once the Drag show is over, I’ll make my way over to the dance floor.  I’ll dance by myself, but, I don’t care. I have the music by my side, after all. As long as I can sing to a song that the DJ plays, I can normally find comfort in being in the middle of a dance floor and doing my own thing After dancing by myself for a bit, I’ll make eye contact with a guy who spots me from across the dance floor.  He’ll come up, ask me where I’m from, and I’ll say, “Just outside of Boulder.” “Oh, that’s so  far from Denver,” he’ll say. “It’s only thirty minutes away,” I’ll reply back. He’ll then look around awkwardly before getting lost in the crowd. Now, I’ll be dancing by myself again. But, I was there for drag originally, and stayed for the music, so it doesn’t really matter.  I’ll then look around the club and notice all of the other gay guys. I’ll then notice that they are with friends, with dates, or even their boyfriends. Then, I’ll check my phone and see that it’s almost 1:00 am. Given I do live a small trek away (but not a large one), I’ll then leave and drive home. On Sunday, I’ll wake up at 8:00 am. Despite that, I went to sleep at 3:00 am, and my body clock is still programmed from work. I’ll wake up feeling drunk, despite that I didn’t drink. I’ll go to the gym again while feeling weak, get groceries, and then go to bed early for work… On Monday, I’ll wake up and go to work. I’ll chat with my coworkers and hear about how they spent their weekend. It usually involves their partners, their husbands, or their families. I’m usually happy for them. However, they’re living a life that I’m not familiar with. They all graduated college, married their husbands or wives right after school, and have a home with their said partner. They’ll talk about how they went out with their partners, went shopping with their partners, traveled with their partners, or some variation of spending time with their family. Then, I’ll leave work, go to the gym, and then go home by myself…. Tuesday through Thursday, I’ll go to work, go to the gym, and go home to eat by myself. I’ll then set my alarm, go to bed by myself, and wake and go to work. However, after three days, I’ll change my routine when Friday rolls around. On Friday evening, I’ll skip the gym and go straight home. After working all week, I’m usually tired. However, I noticed something about my week — it was full of people who have other people.  While curious, I log into another gay dating app. I’ll see that there are a few messages from a few other guys who are local. After chatting for an hour or two, we’ll determine that we’re usually into different things: On this app, they are looking for sex. For me, I want to date. As for myself, once I mention that I’m not looking for sex, but rather, looking to date, they’ll either ghost me or block my profile. After sensing that there’s a strong avoidant attachment style on the app, I’ll log off. Later that night, curiosity will get the best of me. I’ll log back in and see a message from a gay guy whose actually near me in proximity. I’ll reply, and eventually, we’ll be having a conversation.   Our conversation will lead to exploring each other’s wants and will lead to me finding out that he’s only on for sex. And, he wants to meet up.  After giving it thought, I’ll think back to how I’ll spend all week alone. I haven’t been on a date for months, so why not meet up with another guy?  So, I’ll agree, and we’ll meet up. The guy will come over, and after already agreeing on what we’d do, he’ll follow me to my room. He’ll kiss me passionately like we already had some preexisting hot summer romance. And, I’ll do the same back. He’ll hold me, and I’ll hold him. Eventually, we’ll lie there and cuddle for a bit. I’ll then think to myself, “Oh, this is what it feels like to be passionate and cuddle with a partner. This is what all of my friends and co-workers get to experience. Intimacy is normal for them, and in some form or fashion, I’m normal too.”  But, he does leave. When he does, I’ll suddenly feel empty. I’ll shower, lie in bed by myself, and go to sleep. The next morning, I’ll wake up and realize that I’m myself again. I’ll roll over, and start to get teary-eyed. My pillow case will now be stained with tears. I’ll breathe heavily, let out a few more tears, and then end my pity party by getting dressed, packing my laptop, and going back to Trident to write another blog post. After I write my new post, I’ll then look around and see if anyone from the shop is also on the gay dating app. I’ll say hello to someone who is near, but they’ll never reply, and I’ll go back to getting lost in my writing.  I’ll go back to Denver to the club, meet a few great gay guys before they get the ‘ick’ over me living 30 minutes away, then drive home. Go to bed at 3:00 am.  Wake up feeling hung-over, despite not drinking. I’ll go to work. I’ll hear about my coworker’s families, and disappear into the week again.  Friday night will roll around, and I’ll be so burned out on being alone that I’ll go to a gay dating app and chat with guys for a bit. After failing at flirting, I’ll chat with someone who’ll want to hook up. However, I still feel empty from the last time I did it, so I counter-offer the proposal of a hook-up with an offer to go on a date.  He’ll read the message and close the chat without replying. I’ll never hear from him again. I’ll wake up the next morning and cry again, from feeling empty. I’ll compose myself, pack my backpack for Trident, and go work on another blog post.  I’ll go to Denver, dance by myself, and give someone the ‘ick’ because I live thirty miles away.  I’ll wake up the next day hung over. Go to bed early, then wake up and hear about my coworker's lives.  However, on this particular Monday, a co-worker whose on maternity leave came in with her brand-new baby. Everyone in the office will come up to the front, take turns holding the baby, and say, “Hey Cody, you haven’t held the baby yet. Want to hold the baby?” I’ll force a smile on my face while gritting my teeth and replying, “Oh sure, I’m so happy for you!”  I'll keep the forced smile on my face while holding this baby.  “You see Cody, it won't bite! My husband and I are so happy that we get to share this joy with everyone,” the coworker said.  “Absolutely! I’m so happy for you!” I reply back while churning the words through my teeth.  A coworker then points out, “Oh Look at Cody, he’s tearing up! You see, I knew this would be good for him!” I then handed off the baby, excused myself to go to the bathroom, and dry-heave for about ten minutes before returning to work. I’ll disappear all week, chat with a guy on Friday just to be ghosted after turning down sex, wake up and cry, then go back to Trident.  Rinse and repeat. Flirt with a guy on Friday night. Cry Saturday morning. Change my pillowcase again. Watch Drag Saturday night. Give someone the ‘ick’ by living too far from the gay-neighborhood, and go to bed at 3:00 am. Then, disappear into the work week again. Friday rolls around again, I’ll be ghosted by the guy I’ve been talking to all week. Write on Saturday.  Rinse and repeat.  The next Friday, I’ll show up at a restaurant for a date and wait for over an hour before realizing I was being stood up. Cry on Saturday morning. Then, at some point, I told myself I gotta break the cycle and stop talking to guys on apps and try talking to more in person, especially friends.  Saturday night rolls around, I’ll go to the club, and instead of looking for potential partners to date. I also started going to drag-bingo on Sundays, too. I’ll go to local festivals, immerse myself in my local community, and partake in a more sober environment. Maybe then, I’ll break the cycle and find more wholesome people to fill my life with.  However, after several months of meeting people in various spaces, I have yet to hang out with a new friend.  I now have about forty un-saved phone numbers in my phone from people who I had met to make friendships with, and from people who never text me back.  Then, I’ll decide to try something different — I’ll meet up with acquaintances I know from the area instead. I already know them, so why haven’t I done this before?  I then reached out to a friend who asked to meet me for tea. She then stood me up — multiple times. And one of those times, she hurt me so bad, that I wrote about it to launch this series. However, I ran into a massive problem: When I posted the first editorial in the series , I had two friends call on joint-call me to chew me out. They called me and said that I was now being hateful.  I told them, “I’m not writing this series to ‘do anyone in’. I’m writing this series because I keep getting kicked when I’m already down. Something went wrong, and the loneliness is killing me. I’ve been through so many outlandish situations in the past 16 months, that I need to start looking inward and find the answer to the one question I keep asking myself: Where did it all go wrong?” They replied and said, “I get that, but what you’re doing is more hateful. You’re airing out people in a way that’s slamming them. Like, I understand some of these people treated you horribly, but you writing about them is worse than what they did. This isn’t about you anymore.” I got hot, my face turned red, and I shouted back at them while spitting through my teeth, “Who cares about the other person, because 'news flash', what if I really did get hurt? Does my hurt not matter? What do you mean by saying 'this isn’t about me'? Because, what if it is!?! These people move on with their lives, and meanwhile, I’m still here cleaning up the mess!  I’m the one who has to live my life; this is  about me!!" After shouting back at them, we hung up the phone, they blocked me, and another friendship ended…  From that moment on, I declared to myself that one is going to tell me what I can or cant do. No one will be able to take my voice away ever again. However, although I've been looking inward and have been healing by writing this series, I'm still left with one issue: I’m still alone.  I’ve been going through therapy, and I’ve been working on myself. I’ve been making myself a better person, so why am I still alone !? I’ve been searching for the answer to this question for the past year, and instead of finding answers,  I developed a strong hatred.  I developed a resentment, and I started developing hard feelings for the only person who was in control of my life… Me.  By writing this series, what did I learn? I learned that... I was a pushover, so I could eventually stand my own ground I was a dame in distress, so I could become my own hero. I was submissive, so I could become confident. I was crazy, so I could find my own sanity. I lost my voice, so now, I can confidentially say that I regained it.. Since I believe all of that to be true, then maybe by hating my self, I can hopefully reach a point where I'll be able to love myself again.... Although we’ve had this connection for the past nine weeks, I think it’s time that I take a break. After all, how many times can you be introspective, before you start needing a break from the walls within your own mind? Well, I’m at that point now. Although I have so much more tea I can spill to you, I think I will take a break for now and give myself some time to breathe. Don’t worry, dear reader. This isn’t a goodbye, but rather an ‘ until next time ’.  How about we both venture out and live our own lives, and come back and meet here? If I can manage to wake up every morning and power on, I know you can, too.  I'll be cheering you on. Until next time, ~Cody Wade Aka The Oolong Drunk “Blissfully Tea Drunk”  Spilling MORE Tea, a sequel to the popular editorial blog series  Spilling The Tea is coming soon Click the links below to catch up on previous segments of 'Spilling The Tea', Spilling The Tea, Part 1: Cutting Toxic People Out of Our Lives Spilling The Tea, Part 2: Killing Your Ex Spilling The Tea, Part 3: Destroying my Longest Friendship Spilling The Tea, Part 4: The Dangers of Meeting Internet Strangers at the Cat Pee Manor Spilling The Tea, Part 5: The Worst Tea Job I've Ever Taken Spilling The Tea, Part 6: I Ruined a Friendship over AI Spilling The Tea, Part 7: A Closeted Gay Ruined My Life I'd like to personally thank Samara, Rosy, Drew, MacKenna, Jason, Karissa, Joe, and April for standing by my side throughout this series. Thank you for listening, thank you for understanding, and thank you for holding my hand throughout the last 9 weeks. ~

Spilling The Tea, Part 7: A Closeted Gay Ruined My Life Hello hello! Welcome to the second-to-last editorial in this series. Gah, isn’t it crazy, Dear Reader? It feels like we just started! Well, for my emotional energy, this series feels like it’s been going on all year. If I’m being candid with you, I must admit that being vulnerable and open on a consistent basis is quite exhausting. However, do you know what else is exhausting? Authenticity.  For many people like myself, being authentic comes with the idea of being an openly gay man. While I’ve gone over my coming-out story before in this year’s pride month essay , there are a lot of aspects to being on the queer spectrum that are flat-out exhausting.  For many people who do not live life like myself, being authentic is a privilege that comes with a lot of sacrifice.   However, what happens when being authentic translates into coming out of the closet? What happens when your relationship with someone is cognitional by someone else’s ability to come out of the closet? For this, we’ll be going over how a closeted gay ruined my life… For today’s post, let’s meet Preston. Preston and I met on a gay dating app. Preston lived in the next town over, went to college, and was fairly independent. After chatting back and forth for a while, Preston and I turned our casual conversation, into a flirtatious one. We made plans for him to come over to my apartment to, well uh, 'dot dot dot'.  Well, that’s not entirely what happened.  Preston arrived at my door, and upon arriving, he looked up at me and gasped. He tensed up, and could barely say a word. You could tell that he was nervous. As for myself? I thought he was much more cute in person. For me, it felt like love at first sight.  I don’t recall Preston and I doing the 'dot dot dot', but somehow or another, we did find ourselves getting dinner and having an impromptu date.  We eventually found ourselves on the roof top of my apartment’s parking garage, and tracked flights as they flew above us. We watched the sky all night. It was pure magic. Three days later, he came back down to my apartment for another date. We got food together, cuddled on the couch, and had another romantic evening. However, while Preston was on the way out the door, he looked up at me and asked, “Hey, do you wanna be my boyfriend?” I was taken aback. I really liked Preston, but I was still weary about getting hurt again after the break-up from my last partner (which, I talked about in the series here).  But, Preston wasn’t my ex. Preston wasn’t any of those other people. To add, he was relatively younger, so maybe it would be nice to date someone with a new disposition on life, right? I was hesitant, but I said yes to his proposal. When I did, his face turned red, his eyes glittered, and he floated out of my apartment. His reaction was cute, wholesome, and sweet. His doe-eyed excitement made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. It was sweet, and it was special. However, I can’t pinpoint when exactly we had this conversation, but we did have a conversation about him being out to his family.  “Well, since I’m in college, I’m still living at home I can’t be out to my family or friends, but as things progress, I’ll come out and open up to them. Is that okay?” he asked. After having a wild coming-out story of my own, I knew that this was something that was sensitive. If anything, I just wanted him to feel happy and safe.  So, I replied to him, “Take whatever time you need, I won’t pressure you into anything.” He felt safe, and we both felt closer to each other… Thanksgiving came around, and Preston said he couldn’t see me because he had to be with family. Although we were just in a new relationship, and although I wanted to see him, I just told myself that for normal hetero-relationships, new partners don’t typically see each other on holidays. That isn’t a ‘being in the closet’ issue. However, the first road bump we had arrived shortly after Thanksgiving: was Preston’s birthday.  Preston’s birthday was at the beginning of December, and for his birthday, he wanted to have a birthday celebration with his family, and another one with his friends. For the celebration with his friends, he reserved several spots at Top Golf and invited me to go with him. He said he wanted me to meet his friends and wanted to introduce me as his boyfriend. I felt flattered, and I felt special that I’d be meeting his friends.  Until, the weekend before, when he announced that he wasn’t out to his friends, and he’d be coming out to them by introducing me to them.  While flattered, I got nervous.  And with nervousness, came another conversation with Preston. The day before, he called me and said, “Hey so, I think when we go to Top Golf, you should not announce you’re my boyfriend. My best friend Rick is going, and I don’t think he’ll react well to me coming out. Can you come as just one of my friends?” After giving it thought, I replied, “You know, I don’t want to push you into coming out, but I don’t feel comfortable lying. I already had my own coming-out journey, and I didn’t want to lie and pretend to be in the closet — especially around my boyfriend. If you want me to come, then I’ll come as your boyfriend. If you don’t feel comfortable coming out, then I’ll sit this one out and see you another time.” After some thought, I wanted to question him about why he was friends with homophobic people. However, that wasn’t my concern. I just waited for him to reply.  And to my surprise, he replied, “No, I love you, and I want you to be there. You’re a part of my life now, and that’s the way it’s going to be.”  The next day, we arrived at Top Golf. After arriving at Top Golf, Person walked in with a group of his friends. And as he introduced me to each and every one of his friends, they all seemed to be okay with him coming out. They were actually supportive.  Then, he introduced me to his best friend Rick, “Cody, this is Rick. Rick, this is my boyfriend, Cody.” Preston turned bright red, turned around, and quietly waited for a reaction.  Rick looked at me, then looked at Preston. With surprise, he said, “What?! Are you in a relationship? Since when? Why didn’t you tell me?” Very nervously, Prison quietly and quickly replied, “…because it’s with a guy.” Rick shook his head in confusion and said, “A guy? Dude, who cares about if it’s with a guy? I just wish you would have told me sooner! I'm your best friend, I want to know about your life.”  Preston let out a sigh of relief, smiled, and hugged Rick.  For the rest of the night, we all ate, played golf, and had a good time. To my surprise, and to Preston’s surprise, I got along with Rick the most out of all of these friends. Preston felt better about bringing me, and for a moment, everything was perfect between us… Then, the next weekend rolled around — the weekend he was supposed to celebrate his birthday with his family. And during the time he was supposed to be with his family, he called me crying.  Between the sobbing, he managed to explain that his family didn’t celebrate his birthday with him. His mom and dad worked for different school systems, and due to their work schedule, they both had to cancel their dinner plans with Preston. His twin-sister went out with friends, which meant, he’d be home alone. His family just gave him a gift, didn't buy him a cake, and said that they’d just celebrate it with him the next year. He tried to get out that, he didn’t feel special anymore and didn’t know what do to.  I managed to interrupt his sobbing, I encouraged him to drive down to my apartment. To this, he responded with, “I'm already on my way.”  A few minutes later, I opened my door to a crying mess of a Preston. I opened my arms as he fell into them, and continued crying. After letting him cry it out, I grabbed my keys and drove over to my local Whole Foods.  While walking into Whole Foods, he asked, “What are we doing here?” I walked him over to the bakery and said, “We’re picking out a cake. Pick out whichever one you want, and it’s on me. We have a birthday to celebrate!” His sad disposition, tuned into a happy one. The color returned to his eyes as his cheeks blushed.  “I’ve never had my own birthday cake before. I’ve always had to share with my twin sister,” he said with surprise. He picked out his own cake, then I took him to get pizza for dinner — his favorite food.  We ate, went back to my apartment, and blew out the candles on his cake.  He left my apartment feeling re-set, happy, and fulfilled. He adored me, and I adored him. And for a moment, everything was calm between us. Everything was perfect. We were an incredible match…. Until we weren’t. It was from this moment on, that Preston being in the closet started damaging our relationship.  By the way dear reader, we are reading this series on my blog. As you know by now, stories with happy endings don’t typically find themselves on my blog. The following weekend, Preston and I got tickets to see Taylor Swift’s ‘The Eras Tour’ at AMC theater. It was the last weekend it was playing at AMC, and I had wanted to see it. The closest AMC theater to us was fifteen miles south of my apartment. So, our plan was this: Go see Taylor Swift at AMC, get dinner afterward, then spend the night at my apartment. He told his parents he was going to be at a friend's house for the night, and everything was in the clear. We went to AMC, watched Taylor Swift, and had an incredible time. However, upon walking out of the theater, we saw that we were right in the middle of a snowstorm.  The weather predicted snow, but not until midnight that night. However, it started early, and all of the roads were covered.  We got into his car and drove back to my apartment.  While on my way to my apartment, we noticed one massive issue: There were no snow plows on the road, and there were dozens of cars that had slid off the road and wrecked into the ditch. Preston had experience driving in the snow, and despite that, his car spun out of control and almost hit another car, while only going 15 miles per hour.  For the fifteen miles, it took us two hours to get back to my apartment. It was the scariest car ride of my life. Immediately after arriving back at my apartment, Preston got a phone call from his dad. He stepped outside to take the call, and when he came back in, there was a problem. “He, my dad said I have to come back home.” My anxiety instantly spiked, as, his home was thirty miles north. The winter storm was worse up North, and the roads still weren’t clear.  “What all did you tell your family?!” I asked. “I told him I was with friends at the university. He thinks I’m only a few miles away from home. ,” he responded with defeat.  While still dizzy from our two-hour drive I urged him to tell his dad that he couldn’t come home at night and that the drive was too dangerous for him to make. Preston pulled out his phone, called his dad, and said, “Dad, the roads are not plowed and they’re too dangerous. I can just spend the night with my friends, and come home in the morning. The roads should be clear by then.” Then, through this phone, I could hear his dad yell, “It’s only a few miles away, Preston! The snow is bad, and you need to get home now! ” Preston hung up the phone, packed his stuff, and left. It took him three hours to go home that night.  The next morning, I eventually confronted Preston: “You’re a grown adult, and you work and support yourself. Why are your parents so strict on you being home?” He replied, “Well, they said as long as they’re paying for my college, and I live at home, then I have to abide by their rules.” I then replied, “So, why not move out? If you can’t be out of the closet to them, and they’re this controlling that you have to leave where you are safe and drive in a blizzard, then maybe you move out? Why not stand up for yourself?!” He then replied, “But, why would I move out? I have everything paid for. They even pay for my vacations. Why would I cut that off?”  I didn't want him to feel like he had to choose between his family and myself, so I dropped it. A week later, Preston and I had made plans for the weekend. However, they fell through. Preston had a family emergency, and his sister ended up in the ER for a non-life threatening ailment. His parents went to the hospital and needed him to watch the house.  When I asked when I could see him again, he said, “Well, after this week, we’ll be with family for the holidays and I can’t break away. It’ll be two or three weeks until I can see you again.”  Then, at that moment, I decided that I have had enough. It wasn’t Preston’s fault that he couldn’t be out of the closet, but this was now negatively impacting my own mental health, and was pulling on my abandonment issues. Besides, Preston already stated his priorities. However, my priorities were to be with something stable. My priorities were that I could be with someone, and not have our plans canceled last minute due to demanding family. Or, that I wouldn’t miss 4 holidays in a row without seeing my partner.  This wasn’t a relationship.   I called him and told him that I was breaking the relationship off. However, I told them that I still loved him dearly (which, I did), so I asked if we could stay friends and hold off for now. He said he understood and hung up the phone… The next day, I woke up to a distressing text from Preston, “I came out to my parents last night. I can’t handle losing you. I told them everything. I came out, and I told them about you. I couldn’t stop crying.”  Then, a week later, I came home from work to see him on my doorstep. He had several bags with him, and his face was red. He had been crying.  “What are you doing here?” I asked He replied, “I took your advice, and stood up for myself… My parents kicked me out. I’m homeless now.” He broke down and started balling. I ran over, held him, and brought him into my apartment. I cleaned him up, and after he calmed down, I asked him what happened.  He said that his family ended up taking issue with him being gay. His dad took him to their pastor at church and demanded that Preston be sent to a conversion therapy camp. After his church said no (because Preston was a full-grown adult), his parents became even more strict. He picked a fight with his dad, and his dad reacted by kicking him out. A part of me felt responsible about this, and I wanted to throw up. However, I kept calm for Preston. I convinced Preston to make amends with his dad and to reach out to his mom for help. After a few hours, his mom convinced his dad to let him back home. Before Preston left, he announced that he was going to be looking for a full-time job and would eventually move out of his parents on his own. He said he was tired of being at the mercy of other people and was ready to be independent.  So, I took him back. He had a game-plan, and I had newly-found confidence in him. However, that didn’t last long.  He eventually went back to canceling plans with me, and cited his parents as the reason why. The more I asked about him becoming independent, he kept brushing it off. Then, for a month straight, nearly every one of our plans had to be canceled or rescheduled. I tried bargaining with him, and seeing if there was a way that I could be a part of his life without his family. But, that didn’t work. He started making plans to hang with friends and refused to invite me along. He kept planning to partake in his hobbies and stopped taking me along. I kept arguing him, and it quikcly became toxic. Eventually, I confronted him about this, and he said that he had no other option. He expressed that he couldn’t move out, finding a job was too hard, and he didn’t want to give up his lifestyle. He expressed that his family was taking him to Hawaii, and after, to Europe. He even expressed that his family had a trust fund for him, and when he graduated college, they’d buy him a house with the trust fund. He said being independent wasn’t worth it when he could just live at home and enjoy his life the way it was… I eventually blew up at him. I called him every name in the book, broke up with him, and burned the bridge with him for a final time… I felt betrayed. I felt used. I felt like I was some science experiment that he used to figure out that this isn’t wasn’t what he wanted. I felt like my love and my connection to him, could be bought out by his parent's money, and that resulted in me feeling the most worthless I had ever felt from a relationship. But, the worst part of it all? We actually got along and we actually loved each other. We had a connection. And we did have good memories. We had our own language that no one else spoke, and it was special for that moment. And, it was gone.  I learned several things from this. First, fuck religion and fuck homophobia . Second, I’ll never date another closeted guy ever again. This was a one-and-done.  Within the gay community, it seems that everyone has had a horror story of dating someone in the closet, and every single time, they never work out in the end. In fact, I have closed myself off from getting close to friends who are very deep in the closet. I already had my own coming-out story and it was enough for one person, for one lifetime. I can't do it again for myself, let alone for someone else.  This may read as harsh, but I can't allow myself to become sucked-in again. I can't handle having another person show up on my doorstep homeless, because of advice I gave them. I cant re-live my own past truama through somoene else again. Third, when people tell you who they are the first time, believe them. Now, I’m not saying that people don’t deserve second chances. People absolutely deserve grace. However, as I mentioned above, Preston initially told me he enjoyed living off his family’s money. So when I gave him another chance, and he picked his family's money a second time, could I blame him? He already told me this is who he was, so was it really a surprise when he proved it again? Like I said, when people tell you who they are, believe them the first time.  Lastly, I learned that the ability to be in the closet, or, come out of it, is a financial privilege. Preston’s ability to go back into the closet, and it be a personal choice, was a privileged one. Not every single gay person on this earth has the financial ability to fluctuate the way they’re honest about their sexuality, to receive a monetary reward in the end. There is no going back for many gay people. To add, in a generalized sense, I’ve see this a lot of with wealthy gay people. A lot of wealthy gay men have the freedom to live a double life. I know many people would argue that not being able to live your true-self would be miserable, but, it is a choice many wealthy gay people make. I know that when I date again in the future, dating someone who has this type of financial freedom will be a deterrent for me. One thing I keep going back to, in reflection, is that Preston and I had sent each other raccoon photos throughout our relationship. It was one of those silly things, but we’d see videos or photos of them and we’d pretend it was us. One day, while out and about, we were at a shop that had stuffed animals - including raccoons. I bought him one and wrote ‘Cody’ on the tag, and he bought me one and wrote ‘Preston’ on it, and we gave it to each other. If we missed each other while apart, then we’d cuddle with each other's stuffed raccoon to symbolize cuddling with each other. And although we broke up months ago, I still sleep with my Preston Raccoon at night. I still think about him, and I still miss him.  I don’t know when I’ll stop cuddling the raccoon, but for now, I’ll keep sleeping with it every night until the memory of Preston fades away into nothingness, and wait until he becomes a distant memory… Thank you, dear Reader, for joining me this week. Next week is the final installment of ‘Spilling The Tea’. Let just me say, I hope you’re ready because the ending is explosive. I will see you there :) With much love,  ~Cody Wade Aka The Oolong Drunk “Blissfully Tea Drunk…"

Spilling The Tea, Part 6: I Ruined a Friendship Over AI Hello hello! I just have to point out, can you believe that this is post 6 of 8 in the series? I never thought I’d get this far with the project. If I’m being honest, I was quite hesitant about taking on such a large series. I was very hesitant to receive a negative response. However, Dear Reader, your feedback and your companionship have made this all worthwhile. Thank you for making it this far into the home stretch. I’m very grateful for you.  So far, all of the ‘tea spillage’ from this series, has mostly happened in the (relative) distant past. However, what about new tea? What if I told you, that a drama of my own unfolded right in front of me as this series started?  As this series was starting, I somehow ended up right in the middle of cancel culture, and how I ruined a relationship over the use of artificial intelligence.  This is how I ruined a a friendship over AI. First, we need to go back in time — eight and a half years to be exact. When I first started my tea blog, I’ll be candid and say, I was initially enamored by the world of tea. My first introductions to the vast world of tea vendors included many companies that were small in size. Now, they’re some of the anchors within the niche-tea companies. However, there’s a specific company that shall remain nameless for this editorial. This company is ran by one of the most humble and caring people I’ve ever met in the industry— a man named Tom. Tom is one of the warmest, coziest, and friendliest people I have met over my 10-year career in tea, and even now, I still hail him as one of the greatest the industry could ever offer. I don’t know Tom on a very personal level, but Tom has always been a friend to me. He always believed in my blog, and I always believed in him. We always kept things relatively professional, and sometimes, we crossed into being a part of each other’s personal life. We never touched on anything political.  However, after knowing him for 8 and a half years, he was the first to break that boundary. This started when I got a message from Tom, who said that he accidentally sparked a debate on an internet forum called ‘Reddit’.  First, we need to preface that Reddit is a media platform that’s broken down into various other sub-communities called ‘subreddits’ because it’s a sub-community within Reddit. Second, we need to preface the fact that any tea-related social media platform such as the tea subreddit, tea Facebook groups, etc… are overtly negative, snobbish, and just outright toxic. Too many people develop arm-chair opinions of whatever topic is brought to the table, and usually, it’s always draped in a negative connotation. Reddit thrives on negativity.  I went over to the discussion at hand, and Tom was right. Tom was receiving a lot of negative attention over the use of companies using AI art for their packaging. With this, while trying to stay neutral, I replied, “Outrage culture is a large part of Reddit culture.”  With this, Tom replied, “Not just Reddit. Look at the Instagram comments on our post. Those are actual customers of ours. I didn’t want to alienate people.” “ God damnit ”, I thought to myself. “ Why did he drag this over to his social media? ” I went over to his page, and sure enough, he tried to spark the same conversation on his Instagram. He announced he has used several artificial intelligence designs for his packaging, and then did the ONE thing you should never do: Ask the internet for their opinion.  I scrolled through the comments, and sure enough, everyone in the comments was outraged. Comments ranged between outrage on behalf of artists, outrage on behalf of other companies who actually commission human-based art for their packaging, and a few ‘passionate’ comments from customers announcing their boycott of the company.  I went back to my messages and replied to Tom, “I don’t mean to be catty, but where have you been? Ever since people started using artificial intelligence, there’s always been a large pushback. This isn’t unique to our industry.”  Tom replied, “AI is here though. People either need to accept it, and find a way to integrate with it or they’re going to have a hard time. Maybe people don’t wanna hear that. I wanted to have an open discussion about it. I guess that’s what I got.” While frustrated, I replied, “You can’t make people like or accept it. If there’s a large pushback from you using AI designs, then maybe listen to them? If you want to go in your own direction on something, while making customers happy, then there’s bound to be a middle ground somewhere.”  To this, he replied, “I thought a middle-ground would be using AI elements on a larger design of my own making, but the idea of using AI would make me lose customers, is just wild.”  To that, I angrily replied, “If it’s making you lose customers, then you could always go in a different direction. It’s not like this is something you have to do.” I closed my phone, and tried to forget the conversation at hand…  ...Until the next day, when Tom posted to his company’s social media — penning a very lengthy apology for all of the people's feelings he hurt by using artificial intelligence. After reading every sentence in his apology, I became irritated beyond belief. I then read the dozens of comments under the apology post of Tom — praising Tom of his bravery and courage for apologizing for the controversy.  This made me irritated for several reasons.  One, Tom and every other tea company had been using artificial intelligence for their packaging designs for the last several years. Every single tea company does it and has been doing it since AI technology became accessible. Every company. Even the companies who say they don't, actually use it. However, unlike Tom, nearly every other company in the industry did not call attention to the fact they were using AI art. In his post, he never said he was going to stop using AI. So what did I do?  I did the logical thing: Be smart-ass.  Under Tom’s Instagram post, I commented, “This is a great response, but are you still going to be using artificial intelligence for your packaging designs?  A few moments later, Tom replied, “The ones I already designed and printed and sold? I will. But, I am considering using an alternative for people who find my practices unethical.”  With even more irritation, I replied, “So, this apology post didn’t really change the outcome. I’ll always be a fan of your shop, but apologizing without change feels disingenuous. I'm not sure I understand.”  Then, a blogger friend of mine clapped back at me for dismissing Tom’s empathetic attempt at an apology by saying. “What’s unclear? He apologized for hurting people’s feelings. Because Tom has more empathy than most of us do, and more empathy than most of the people attacking him”.  I replied for a final time and clapped back, “What’s unclear is the point of an apology, because an apology indicates the said action will stop. Apologizing, then turning around and continuing to do the same thing, isn’t an apology.” Then, that same blogger friend sent me a message and said, “Dude, what’s your problem? Tom is good people, why are you being an asshole to him?”  However, while getting caught up in being ‘right’, I did something else that I didn’t realize I was actively doing — I was betraying my friendship with Tom. Despite that I didn’t agree with Tom, I was a fan of his. Tom really was (and still is) an incredible person with an incredible heart. He had always been accepting of me and my issues, and when he confided in me, I reacted more than poorly. I enjoyed our friendship, and if I truly felt indifferent to his opinions, I could have had a conversation with him privately instead of calling him out publicly. Or, I didn’t have to say anything at all. I felt like he created an issue out of thin-air and conflated it, but, he didn’t feel that way. That is not his point of view. After realizing I fucked up, I sent him a message saying ‘hello’ — attempting to apologize and waited for a reply.  He left me on ‘read’.  I sent another message, asking if I could have a chat with him directly, and to my surprise, he didn’t read it.  I tried messaging him a third and final time, and yet, he didn’t open my messages. Unfortunately for me, Tom did the very thing I have done many times before (even within this series) — he stopped responding to messages from someone who hurt and betrayed him… In reflection, I realized I learned several things. First and foremost, I learned that sometimes, if someone believes in something different than you, then you don’t always have to call them out on it. We can’t make our friends believe in the same things as we do. Second, opinions really are like anuses — everyone has one. However, it doesn’t mean you need to show it to everyone either. Third, if you get comfortable enough with someone that you’re able to share hot-button opinions with, then be prepared for that person to disagree. Be prepared to view that friendship in a new light, and be prepared for it to alter the way in which you view that particular person…  Most importantly, if you’re willing to share any kind of opinion on the World Wide Web, especially if it’s a hot-button topic, then you have got to be prepared for any kind of backlash. In society, there are certain topics of discussion that always make anyone emotional. Right now these topics include AI art, Biden/Trump, abortion, gay rights, Israel/Palestine, etc… These are topics that will garner emotional reactions regardless of your stance or opinion. Someone will disagree with you, and sometimes, quite passionately. If you decide to share your opinions and stances on these hot-button topics, you simply can’t be surprised when you are met with an emotional reaction. These topics are emotional for a lot of people.  Lastly, you can be ‘right’ when it comes to whichever topic is at hand. Just because you are ‘correct’ in any given viewpoint, it doesn’t give you the right to be so righteous that you inadvertently (and for me, accidentally) end up being an asshole. Besides, just because you think you are ‘correct’, it doesn’t mean you really are (except for me, I’m always right). Growing up, we had a saying that’s along the lines of, “You can be right, and you can also be dead right.”  Was being so ‘correct’ and righteous, really worth losing a friendship over?  No. It wasn’t worth it. Tom is an incredible person, and I wish I could take it back. If Tom is reading, I’d like for him to know that really, I apologize for betraying you.  As you might know, I never shared with you my opinion of tea companies using AI art. I didn’t share my opinion with you, because I’m not an authority of any kind to make such opinions. I just know that I support my artist friends, and I support the people who are passionate about the love of art.  Wanna know something I’m very passionate about, Dear Reader? I’m passionate about the connection you and I have! Truly, your politics do not matter to me, because you and I share a very special type of connection that transcends whatever hot-button is currently consuming the zeitgeist. Ultimately, let’s just agree to disagree, and share a cup of tea with one another. After all, we really are in this together.  Despite all of my shortcomings, I appreciate that you made it back here. I can’t wait to see you next week :) Until then, ~Cody Wade aka The Oolong Drunk “Blissfully Tea Drunk”

Spilling The Tea, Part 5: The Worst Tea Job I've Ever Taken ~ Hello hello!  Thank you for returning to this week’s Spilling The Tea! Last week, we went over the dangers of meeting internet strangers . Well, not just meeting them, but staying at a stranger’s house that you’ve never met before. However, instead of a person, what if you were invited by a company to come out to another city, and let someone else plan your trip?  Yes, this sounds like a recipe for a disastrous time already. If the story has made it to the series here, it’s probably a clear indication that something went wrong. Well, it did.  Today, we'll be going over the worst job I've ever taken in the tea industry. This all started when one morning, I woke up to a message from a colleague, Stacy. To keep a long story short, Stacy was part of a social media platform that worked on a viewership system, and the system also worked on a ranking system. After a while, Stacy ended up winning a contest on the platform and won a placement on a billboard in Chicago. She contacted me and invited me to fly out to Chicago to write an article about her billboard winnings. She then connected me with an editor to a publication (where the article would be posted), and booked airfare.  After organizing logistics, the plan was this: Given I couldn’t take time off work due to short notice, I would fly out of Denver Saturday morning, arrive at the billboard revealing Saturday night, and fly back home to Denver early Sunday morning. Given it was such a short trip, my friend Chris would pick me up from the airport, meet another friend named Mike have tea with Mike at a local tea shop, and would let me stay the night with him. We also planned on getting pizza together and would hang out before flying back home. Sounds like a solid plan, right? Well, this story is on my site, so you know the drill.  First, I got home Friday night and packed my bags. After getting home from work and packing, I didn't really sleep. Stacy booked a 4:55 am flight from Denver to Chicago. Given I live an hour from the airport, that meant waking up after only two hours of sleep. It didn’t entirely matter, because ultimately, I would just sleep on the plane and nap at Chris’s place.  That wasn’t until boarding the plane at 4:00 am, that I received a text from Chris that read, “Hey man, I just got an emergency call from family. I had to leave Chicago this morning, and won’t be around. Good luck!” Fuck . Chris was my ride and Chris was who I was supposed to stay over with.  In a panic, I sent a message to Stacy and explained the situation to her. However, the flight attendants announced that we’d be taking off. I placed my phone on airplane mode and closed my fingers so that I’d receive communication back from Stacy whenever I turned my phone back on. Two hours later, I arrived in Chicago. The entire flight was turbulent, and given so, I didn’t get the chance to sleep on the plane. After arriving at the gate, I quickly turned on my phone and looked for any communication from Stacy.  Then, I got a notification.  I opened my messages to read a reply from Stacy that read, “Hey! Sorry to hear that your plans fell through. We rented an Airbnb and you can stay the night with us. However, we’re driving up from St. Louis and we won’t be at the Airbnb until 5:00 pm. Check-in isn't until 3, but here’s the address...” Ok, crisis averted. Thank God Stacy was understanding. However, that left me with one issue: The Airbnb was twelve miles away, and It was 8:00 am. I was still supposed to meet Mike for tea at 1:00 pm, so what I now had to figure out what to do for the next five hours.  I didn’t have money for Uber, and like before, I wouldn’t have been able to afford this trip on my own.  So next, I looked up a restaurant near the tea shop where I was supposed to meet Mike, decided to eat breakfast, and then meander around that part of town. After a Google search, and after receiving help from another internet friend on how to navigate Chicago public transportation, I was on a subway and on my way to the tea shop. Two hours later, I finally navigated to the tea shop. In my 27 years of life (at that point), I had never used public transportation before. Like, ever. I’ve also never stepped foot in Chicago, so navigating public transportation in a new city on two hours of sleep proved to be, challenging to say the least. After switching lines several times, and after having to travel-back to one of the stops that I had missed, I finally found my way to the tea shop. Now that I was several hours away from meeting Mike, I crossed the street and grabbed breakfast while waiting for our tea date.  After eating breakfast, I sat at the table and immediately felt a wave of exhaustion and fatigue hit me hard harder than the subway I was on. I looked at the clock, and although I was still early, I went over to the tea shop and waited for Mike. While sitting at the tea shop, and waiting for Mike, I closed my eyes and felt myself falling asleep sitting up. “ If I could just get five minutes of sleep, it could help my energy ,” I thought to myself. However, right as I was about to nod off in my seat, I got a message from Mike. “Hey, I’m walking up!” “ Damnit ”, I thought to myself.  I then stood up, looked at the door, and in came Mike.  Seeing Mike for the first time was a drunken-magical haze. Previous to this trip, I had known Mike for over six years of my blogging career. We have had several tea sessions during the pandemic and grew relatively close. He had always been supportive of my tea blog and was someone who I always associated with being a part of the greater tea community. Anytime I talked to Mike, I always felt like I was talking to the entire tea industry at large. Warm, fuzzy, and heart-felt, would be the top three words I’d use to describe Mike. Oh, and paranoia. Mike walked through the door, and when he did, I had two thoughts running through my mind: First, seeing him in person after only virtually knowing him for six years, felt weird. He was in person. I could reach out and touch him! Second, my eyes grew so heavy that I began to feel dizzy and disoriented. Drowsy wouldn’t explain the feeling. More or less, 'drunk' was the feeling that settled in. The more I was awake, the more pain I was in. I can’t entirely remember what was said between Mike and me during this meeting, but, I remember at some point, Mike mentioned that he had come to the tea shop from the University. Somehow or another, I got it in my head that Mike had driven from the university to the tea shop. At some point during our conversion, Mike pulled up a map with me to see where the Airbnb was. Although meeting everyone was still a few hours away, I was anxious about how I was going to make it from this part of the city. It was still over ten miles away. With public transportation, it would take an hour and a half to get there. Given how exhausted I was, it felt impossible.  While having the map pulled up, I heavily hinted to Mike, “It’s too bad that there’s not a way I can get a ride over there. It would be a twenty-minute car ride compared to almost two hours in public transportation.” Mike looked at me, nodded, and proceeded to show me how I’d need to take the subway, the bus, and walk 5 city blocks to get to Stacy’s Airbnb. He gave me great detailed instructions on how to navigate public transportation. We eventually hugged, before he sent me on my way to navigate the city. While he walked off in a different direction, I intently became paranoid.  “ How dare he not offer to drive me, I’ve known him for 6+ years! ” I thought to myself. In an angry drunken sleep-deprived paranoid rage, I quietly followed him.  “ I’ll catch that lair in his car! I bet it’s an SUV, too! ” I said to myself as I proceeded to follow him for four city blocks.  Then, as Mike crossed the street, he started to turn his head around. In a last-minute panic, I dove behind a truck that was parked on the street. I peered through the window of the said truck and watched as he looked around.  “ Shit, he almost caught me! Pull yourself together! ” I said to myself as I turned around, and went back in the direction of Stacy’s airBNB.  An hour and a half later, I got off the subway and walked across the interstate. After trekking into Stab St. and Murder Ave., I was just five blocks away from the Airbnb. While looking at my phone, and while crossing the interstate, a rugged-looking man walked up to me and asked, “Hey sir, do you know where the subway entrance is? It’s just a few blocks up, right?”  I immediately shrieked as every hair stood up on the back of my neck, and shouted, “I’m not from here and I don’t have any money! Don’t shoot me!”  The man gave me a dirty look and flipped me off as I hurried across the interstate.  Thirty minutes after wandering around this random Chicago neighborhood, I arrived at the Airbnb.  I got a shower, found a bed, and laid down. However, right as my head hit the pillow, and right as I closed my eyes, I got a call from Stacy.  “Hey Cody! We’re just a block away from the Airbnb. We’re going to swing by and pick you up, and we’re going straight to the billboard reveal. See you five!”  “ Fuck !!”, I shouted into the airBNB.  I got dressed, went and met Stacy, and rode over to the billboard reveal. Despite being on the verge of a mental collapse, I actually had a good time. Stacy was fun to be around, and all of the people she invited to the reveal party, were very pleasant as well. Everyone was kind, sweet, and above all else — warm and welcoming. After being at the event for several hours, I announced to Stacy that I was exhausted, and simply couldn’t keep going anymore. I needed to go back to the Airbnb and go to sleep. She was understanding and arranged for one of her guests to take me to the Airbnb. After riding back to the Airbnb, I laid down, went to bed, and set my alarm for my early flight back home… Except, an hour later, I was awakened by the sound of loud music. Although I was in a room by myself, the Airbnb was old. The walls were thin, and the loud sounds of people cheering, partying, and blasting music, jolted me awake.  After tossing and turning, and after an hour of trying to get comfortable, I gathered the nerve to go into the living room of the Airbnb and ask for peace.  I walked into the living room, and when I did, Stacy and her party were all drinking/smoking. They looked up at me, and before I could say anything, they announced, “Hey, Cody’s here! Come get a drink with us!”  As I began to fight the tears behind my eyes, I took a deep breath, composed myself, and said, “Hey, it’s Saturday night and I haven’t slept since Thursday night. I’ve been all over Chicago today, and I’m flat out exhausted. Please, can you keep it down just a little? I have to be up in a little bit for my flight home and I’m just flat-out exhausted.” Stacy and everyone nodded, agreed to keep it down, and I went back to my room… Two hours later, I was still wide awake. The party was still going, and the noise didn’t change at all.  Around 2-3 am, guests finally left, and the Airbnb finally became quiet. I was able to close my eyes, and after dozing off, my alarm went off… While feeling drunk, I packed my bags, met Stacy in the kitchen, and she called me an Uber to take me to the airport.  We hugged goodbye, and I was off. While at O’Hare, I waited in line at TSA for almost two hours. And after two hours, and after making it to the front of the line, I unloaded my pockets and noticed something was amiss: My keys (car keys and apartment keys) were missing.  In an instant panic, I dumped the entire contents of my suitcase on the TSA conveyor belt and manically sifted through all of my stuff. Then, suddenly, it dawned on me. I remember placing my keys on the in-table of the room I slept in. I re-sorted my belongings, got out of line at TSA, and went back to the airport lobby. After calling Stacy three times in a row, she didn’t answer. Then, in a last-minute panic, I remembered that one of her guests was on Instagram. I pulled up the app and saw he was online. In my last-ditch effort, I called him through the app.  And on the last ring, he actually answered.  “Oh thank god  you answered! I left my keys in the room I slept in. Can you please drive them up to the airport? I’m begging you , I will be stranded when I arrive back home in Denver.” He then responded, “I’ll gladly drive them up! However, it’ll take me an hour to get them to you.” As I broke out in a cold sweat, I exclaimed, “An hour?! It took the Uber 15 minutes to drive here! My flight leaves in 30!” He then replied, “I know, but I borrowed this car when driving Stacy to Chicago from St. Louis, and I’m not allowed to drive on the interstate. I’ll have to take backroads to get there.”  I hung up the phone, accepted that I was not going to be flying back home on my flight, and waited in line at the ticket counter.  When I got to the front of the ticket counter, I vaguely explained the situation to the airline representative. I explained how I left my keys behind, and how I’d now miss my flight. The woman at the ticket counter searched in her computer, and after a moment, replied, “So Mr. Wade, it looks like for your class of ticket, the next flight we’d be able to get you on would be Wednesday night. You can upgrade your ticket and leave in three hours, but it will cost around $300.00”  My eyes widened. I did not have an extra $300.00, and I could not miss work for the next three days either. I’d be fired. To add, I’d be stranded in Chicago and would have nowhere to stay. Chris flaked las minute, I was still paranoid at Mike, and Stacy was leaving later that evening.  Then, I looked at the woman at the ticket counter and noticed that she had a lesbian pride flag pinned to her work badge.  Then, I did what anyone would do in my position… I lied through my teeth.  I instantly burst into tears and began to hyperventilate. While managing to get out words through my tears, I let out, “I don’t have $300.00. I just came out to my family this weekend, and they kicked me out and made me homeless. They’re Mormon, and I’m on my way to Denver to stay with a friend. I have no money, no home, and nowhere to go! I don’t know what to do. This suitcase is all I own to my name, and I’ve been wandering around the city for two days and haven’t slept since Thursday. I don’t know what I’m going to do!!” While hysterically crying, the woman at the ticket counter called her manager over and typed a few things on her computer. Then, she leaned over the counter, put her hand on my shoulder, and said, “Listen, I’m a lesbian, and as a sister to a newly-out brother, I gotch’u. I talked to my manager and upgraded your ticket, and you’ll be leaving on the next flight to Denver in three hours. Stay strong, you will get through this.” She then leaned over the counter and hugged me.  I took my new tickets, and walked the walk of shame back over to the airport lobby. An hour later, I got my keys back. Two hours after that, I was on the next flight back to Denver… After taking a mental break from this trip, I learned several things. First, I learned that Mike never owned a car. I don’t know how I got it in my mind that he had one... I’ll just chalk it up to the fact I was delusional due to excessive sleep deprivation. I also realized that between Friday morning and Sunday evening, I only got 4 hours of sleep — especially after working all day Friday. Maybe that’s why my mind visited Crazy Town.  I also learned that my friend Chris, is a massive flake. A year later, I booked a flight to fly out to Chicago to visit him, and he canceled on that last-minute, too. Safe to say, I quit being friends with Chris. Last, it took me over a month and a half to submit my article on the billboard party. I had five drafts of the article, but all of them were angry. When I submitted it to the editor of the publication, he expressed disappointment in the fact the article was lifeless and didn’t have emotion. Well, to be fair, ‘bland’ is all that was left after taking out all of the anger from the article.  A few months later, Stacy invited me out to NYC to join her in celebrating another contest she won. She also offered that I could stay with her in their Airbnb in NYC. I quickly declined.  Throughout all of this, I learned three massive valuable life-lesson: First, fuck 5:00 am flights. Second, no greater career opportunity would ever justify you martyring your health and safety, just for the sake of adding it to a resume. In theory, the trip was a good idea. However, the execution was not. It was dangerous for me to wander around a new city while sleep-deprived, especially crossing over an interstate with no real protection.  To add, it didn’t help my career. In fact, it hindered it because the publication didn’t want to work with me again. Lastly, when being hired to write for anyone, especially if travel is involved, I’ll need a contract. I can’t help but wonder that if I had some way of protecting myself on paper, such as hotel/transportation costs covered, I might have had a much better experience, and wouldn’t have been dumped in the middle of Chicago. Although I was supposed to rely on my friend Chris, I didn’t have any safety nets to catch me in case of an emergency either.  However, now that time has passed, I’m now in a place where I am no longer angry at the trip. I can say, I have had many peaceful nights of sleep since then. Thank you, dear reader, for sticking by my side through this wild adventure through Chicago. Although I was alone on this trip then , I don’t feel alone in it now . With this, remember to bring earplugs with you on any trip you take. You’ll never know when you’ll need them. Oh, one last thing. Although it might be obvious after last week’s post, don’t ever travel poor  (for, obvious reasons). Until next week, ~Cody Wade The Oolong Drunk “Blissfully Tea Drunk”

Spilling The Tea Part 2: Killing Your Ex ~ Hello hello! Welcome back, reader! How was your week? Are you managing the summer heat?  Well, as a quick update, things got heated heated for me after last week’s debut . You see, after posting last week’s edition of this eight-part series, I got an angry phone call from two of my friends — the same friends who were also close to last week’s antagonist. They called me and said, “Although what Lilly did to you was friendship-ending, and she was definitley in the wrong — talking about it and posting it to your blog is worse, and mean-spirited.” This friend also said if he read an entire editorial about how he wronged a friend, he would kill himself. He also said that given that I had tried to commit suicide before in my past, I should know how devastating it would make someone feel by talking about them on my blog. “She’s my friend, so in turn, I take offense for her,” is what one of the texts said.  First and foremost, I kicked the lot of them to the curb and removed them from my life. They had no right weaponizing my past suicide attempt against me, for their narcissism. Second, this blog series is not about some holy retribution for getting even with every antagonist in my life. This series is not about outing people for being crummy, and above all else, this series is not about winning any sort of award or endgame. Like I said last week, this series is about healing. This series is about learning. Lastly, this series is about growing from my past mistakes and sharing it with you — the reader. So, if the truth hurts you, then be prepared to get hurt, because I will pledge allegiance to the truth and nothing but . So now, sharpen your knives and polish your swords, and let’s move on to today’s editorial: Killing our exes. First, let’s introduce Jacob.  Jacob and I met on a dating app. Jacob was my height, my age, also lived in the suburbs.  Most importantly, Jacob was another gay boy who moved to Colorado from Missouri -- just like me. He was attractive, nerdy, and conventionally ‘cute as fuck’.   We chatted for several days, and after several days, I asked him out.  He was busy for the next few weeks, so, we made a date for weeks out.  After having a successful date, he invited me over to his place to have a movie night. Except, two weeks after that,because he was busy and had a lot of plans already in the works.  Two weeks later, I came over. We watched a movie, we cuddled, and when the movie ended — I tried to make a move on him. When I did, he quickly stood up and announced that he had a virtual game night planned and I was to go home. He showed me the door before logging onto a gaming PC, and starting his game night. I started to feel wary about him, because, when someone invites you to ‘stay the night over to watch a movie’ indicates you’re staying over. To him, apparently it only meant the duration of Dune.  Until over two weeks later when he came over to my apartment and spent an evening together. The morning after, I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said yes.  After 6 weeks of being patient, finally paid off.  Eventually, I asked if I could start seeing him more frequently. I mean, after all, I had been seeing my new boyfriend for almost two months and only ‘dated’ him three times. But, I made myself patient because patience is a virtue, isn’t it? Well, after a few months of seeing him only on Saturdays, I asked if we could see each other throughout the week, and he happily said yes. Another few months went by, and I got the news that I was moving twenty miles south — which would put me close to his part of town. Our forty-five-minute drive to see each other, now turned into a twenty-minute drive to see each other. There for a while, things were going smoothly. Since things were going smoothly, I started asking him about meeting his family and meeting his friends. He agreed for me to meet his family, and eventually, we flew to Missouri twice together so I could meet his parents. However, when we got back home, I started asking if I could meet his friends, and go to some of his favorite hangout spots in the city — including his favorite bar & restaurants. Every time, he’d answer, “It’s hard to see my friends and to go to my favorite places because it’s in the city. I don’t wanna show you my favorite bar because I live too far from it, and can’t drink if we go...”  Which, was an odd excuse because these were friends and these were places he frequented on a very regular basis. He’d meet his friends in the city, attend gay-centric events, and go to gay-friendly places regularly. If anything, I just wanted to be a part of his everyday life here. He did invite me and flew me out to meet his parents, so why couldn’t I be a part of his social life?  Then, suddenly, the first crack that inevitably shattered our relationship appeared out of nowhere: He announced that his best friend from college would be moving to Colorado. He announced that he wanted to move out of the suburbs, and into downtown, with his best friend as his roommate. He also announced that his friends would be visiting beforehand to apartment look before moving down.  When Jacob’s friends arrived, he took them out to the city. He showed them some of his favored places in the city, showed them some of his favorite restaurants, and took them to his favorite gay-friendly bar. He also announced that he wanted a weekend with his friends, and I could meet them on their last day in Colorado because he wanted ‘me time’ with his friends.  After six months of dating him, I did the very classy thing of ‘losing my shit’.  We had a fight. I confronted him about his weird avoidant-attachment style and we argued about how I was being compartmentalized in his life. After a bit of back and forth, he agreed to let me join them for the rest of their outings. To add, wanna know the best compromise of all? We started building resentment towards each other.  After his friends left, I asked him to show me some of the places that he showed them. When I did, I was met with resistance. I got told no and was told the same excuses I had been told before. A month later, we had another argument over it, and despite it, he said if I wanted to partake in his social life, I’d just have to wait until he moved into the city. If I'd be patient and waited until he moved into the city, then I would be able to go on dates with him to some of his favorite places — including the places he showed his friends.  After his friends left, I helped him find an apartment above one of my favorite milk tea shops in the city, helped him pack, and helped him move. The week of the move, he had a mental health crisis. He mentally slipped into a panic due to moving because before that point, his parents funded and moved him — for him. His parents traveled to help him get settled. Despite being 27 years old, this was the very first time he was doing something like this on his own. No matter how much I tried to convince him I was there for him, he closed up.  I just told myself to be patient, because patience is a virtue, right? Well, the weekend he moved, he screamed at me. He shouted at me for packing wrong. And he shouted at me for cleaning things wrong…  I bit my tongue and gave him more patience. I tried to look past his mental health crisis, and helped him until his move was over… Once his move ended, I asked him about going out since he was now in the city once and for all. For four more weeks, he kept saying “I need to unpack, and I need to settle and explore on my own.”  Then, the final weekend arrived when his new roommate would be moving down from South Carolina to move in with him. He announced that his best friend was bringing a few people with him to help move, and Jacob wanted to show them the gay-friendly bar that he frequented while they were all over. I snapped.  I told him that I didn’t want to be with him anymore. We got into an argument, and after getting into a heated argument, he grabbed my arms, pushed me, and slammed me against the wall. I hit my head on the wall, reached my leg up, and kicked him off. I packed my backpack, walked out of his apartment, and walked out of his life.    For over a week, I called in sick to work and hid out in my apartment. At the time, I was ashamed that I’d ever be in a position where a partner would hurt me. I was embarrassed that I put my trust in him. Lastly, I was ashamed of the hand-print marks that were left on my wrists, and didn’t want anyone to see them… However, after several months of hiding out in my apartment, I started going out again. I started exercising regularly again and tried to build my confidence.  Expert, for one weekend, a few friends and I went out to Downtown Denver to celebrate my birthday. I parked downtown, waited at a crosswalk, and looked across the street to see Jacob standing waiting at the crosswalk with his new roommate.  I quickly ran across the street and hid in the shuffle of traffic and pedestrians, before he could see me.  A few months later, I went to Downtown Denver to meet friends for tea. Across the street, I saw Jacob.  After that, I quit visiting the city for a bit. It wouldn’t be until 8 months later, that a few friends flew into Denver to spend an extended weekend with me. Part of our trip was to visit downtown Denver.  When visiting Downtown Denver, we all went to my favorite milk tea shop together. When going, we walked up and saw Jacob. Jacob looked up at me and made eye contact with me. While making eye contact, I stopped in place, turned around, and walked away from the area.  I actually had a panic attack. While my friends comforted me, they reminded me that Jacob was just Jacob. He is not any more of a human than I was.  So, why was I giving the memory of him this much power?  First and foremost, seeing your ex in public is never fun. Nobody, gay or straight, doesn’t necessarily enjoy seeing their ex anywhere after the relationship fails. Second, I also learned that I can’t stop living my life in fear due to someone else living their life, as well. Just because our relationship failed, doesn’t mean my enjoyment out of Denver had to fail as well. After my friends confronted me, and after they left the city, I started re-analyzing my relationship with Jacob. In reflection, I realized that Jacob was not in the right place to be dating someone. Jacob didn’t know he was doing this, but he was only looking for a connection to help hold him over until he relocated to Downtown Denver. I mean, isn’t it obvious? When someone is moving to a new city with their best friend, and ready to go out and party, they are not necessarily in the right frame of mind to seriously date.  In self-reflection, I also learned that anytime our relationship advanced forward, it was because I initiated it. Any connection and any romance was initiated, because I pursued him.  I also remember about how I almost broke up with him, over his trip to South Dakota. He went to a family funeral for over two weeks in South Dakota, and his birthday fell on one of the days of his trip. When I asked to call him on his birthday, and he wouldn’t let me call him because, according to him, “This trip is not about my birthday, it’s about my family.” Funny enough, later that night, his mom posted photos on Social Media about how the entire family of 30 people,  threw a surprise birthday party for Jacob…  While remembering the South Dakota incident, I learned that patience is not always a virtue. The act of patience quits being a virtue when you allow someone to take advantage of it. I learned that it is completely okay to pursue someone in a relationship, however, they need to be pursuing you back as well. It takes two people to carry the weight of a relationship. No amount of patience and no amount of grace will ever make the other person want to ‘want’ you back. Lastly, I learned that anytime I meet anyone in dating with an avoidant attachment style, I am running fast in the other direction. Although it is healthy for some people, it is actualy toxic for me.   However, I was still left with one issue: How do I go out in public and not be affected by seeing Jacob? Well, simply, I had to kill him. Not literally, of course. But, emotionally? I had to make him dead to me. Although the relationship was 8 months behind me, I was still keeping it alive. I was keeping it alive because, despite the bad times, we actually had a lot of good times.We had love, romance, and a lot of special memories that were shared between us. It’s only human to want to remember the good times, right? Well, of course it is.  However, humans are not black-and-white. You can’t always take the good out of one thing, and ignore the bad. Jacob was a complex human being, and as much as I wanted there to remember only good times, the bad times still happened. He still put his hands on me. He still hurt me.  So I took all of the good times, and I took the bad times, and let those feelings go. I killed those negative feelings by going to the gym. I killed those feelings by going to dinner by myself. And I killed more of those feelings by taking care of myself. Eventually, I found my own self-worth, and did it until he was eventually dead to me. Loving myself, and taking care of myself, is how I managed to move on from the hole he left in my heart and move on. So, why am I bringing this up now?  I’ve been going to the same gay bar that he had frequented. You know, the same one that he enjoyed but refused to take me to? For the past few months, I had been going there on a semi-regular basis to watch drag shows. Last week, I walked up to the bar and ordered a drink. When I did, I noticed someone walking up to the bar beside me in my peripheral vision. I looked over, and it was Jacob. He was standing at the bar, trying to ignore that I looked at him. He glanced over at me and smiled. I glanced over at him, and to my own surprise even, I smiled back.  I paid the bartender, took my drink, and walked back into the bar.  I walked away, and for the first time since our break-up, I can confidently say, this was the very first time that I felt nothing…. Thank you reader for going down this path with me. I’m really grateful that you came back after last week’s post, and can’t wait to chat with you again next week. Until then, take care of yourself. Most importantly, don’t forget to do something this week that will show yourself, that you love yourself. Best wishes, ~Cody Aka The Oolong Drunk “Blissfully Tea Drunk”

Spilling The Tea,Part 4: The Dangers of Meeting Internet Strangers at the Cat Pee Manor ~ Hello hello! Welcome back to this week’s installment of ‘Spilling The Tea’. First, I want to say thank you, dear reader, for all of the warm and receptive feedback you’ve given me after last week’s installment. I was surprised that so many of you had experienced a long-term friendship go south. Although it was saddening to hear that it was a shared experience with so many of you, I’m fortunate that I’m not alone in this aspect. However, while we are still fresh on last week’s topic of internet friends , I have to ask: Have you ever met any of your virtual friends in person? Were they what you expected? Well, what if I told you that meeting one of your virtual friendships would turn into an absolute nightmare, and make you end up in a cat-pee manor? Before we dive into today’s zaniness, let’s first introduce Mary.  Mary and I had met virtually through social media. Mary lived in Portland, and I lived in Colorado. Over the course of a year, we’d share virtual tea sessions, gush over different tea and teaware websites, and simply enjoy each other's company. Mary and I had a lot of shared experiences such as being divorced from our family, having previous toxic relationships, and also, feeling lonely in life post-covid. Mary and I became really close, and there for a while, she felt like family. Eventually, after one of our conversations about loneliness, she sent me a messaged and made me one incredible offer: “I know your finances are tight, so how about I buy a plane ticket for you to come out to Oregon? You can see your friends, and you can all come here and stay with me.” With what felt like winning Willy Wonka’s Golden Ticket, I accepted her offer. It had been a few months since seeing friends, and given how low my mental state had been at that point, Mary offered me something that I couldn’t give myself: She gave me an escape. Although temporary, I was able to take a break from my then mental-health crisis.  So, our game plan was this: I fly into Southern Oregon to stay the night with my best friend and his wife, Luke, and MacKenna. The next day, we were to drive up to Portland, meet for a late breakfast, have a tea meet-up at a local tea shop, and tea-bar hop the rest of the evening. I would then fly home from Portland the next morning. Except, that’s not entirely what happened.  The day of the trip rolled around, and I flew out to Southern Oregon. I met up with Luke and MacKenna, and I stayed the night with them. Although I could go into more detail about my visit with them, it wouldn’t add to today’s story. However, I will say at at the very least, they were undeserving casualties of the upcoming nightmare, too. The next morning, we woke up and headed up to Portland. It was four hours away according to the GPS, and once we were to arrive, we’d stop and have breakfast in the city with Mary and a few other tea friends. However, once we were an hour from Mary’s house, I texted her and gave her an updated ETA. Then, I was unexpectedly met with a distressing text from Mary that read, “Hey, my car won’t start and if we’re all going to breakfast, I can’t take all of us. Can we all pile into Luke and MacKenna’s car and they drive all of us around?” I looked over at Luke, who was driving, and contemplated asking him — but I couldn’t. Luke and MacKenna had driven me 4 hours north to Portland, and although they were a part of the original plan, they were still driving me to Portland as a favor. I couldn’t just ask them to drive everyone around after, especially people they’ve never met before. I quickly came up with a lie and said, “They don’t have room in their car. However, doesn’t your partner have a car? We can all just meet for food and tea, and drive separately. Let’s just stick to the original plan and meet at the restaurant.”  I didn’t hear back from Mary, so we continued as normal.  However, an hour later, we pulled up to the diner got on the waitlist for a table for 6 (which would include Mary), and called to let her know that we had arrived. To make things better, it was only a few blocks from Mary’s house.  However, Mary blew up.  “You need to come straight here, now ! My car’s battery is broken, and we were supposed to all get food together, and everything is falling apart! You need to stop what you’re doing because you’re stressing me out, so just get here now !”  She was shouting, and I was stunned.  Over the year of knowing her, she had never raised her voice at me. I also didn’t understand why she couldn’t just meet us, since we were two blocks from her house. Now that I got Luke, MacKenna, and myself out here, I started to panic. I didn’t want Luke or MacKenna to know there were issues.  But, with a cool head, I replied, “Hey, we’ll head over. We just need food, we’ve been driving for four hours, and we need to eat before anything else.”  An hour or so later, we ate breakfast and nervously headed a block over to Mary’s house, where I met her for the very first time. While apprehensive, we walked up to the door and rang the doorbell.  After a few moments of waiting, and after anxiety set in, the door opened.  It was Mary.  Except, Mary was wearing sunshades and over-the-ear headphones. She gave us a side hug and went back inside.  While standing in the doorway, we were greeted by her partner who stood up and said, “Hey, sorry about the issues earlier. My car works, so I don’t know why she got upset over not being able to take her car. We can drive separately to anywhere in the city. Except, Mary is over-stimulated and has to take a few pills to calm down. She’ll be wearing headphones and sunglasses wherever we go today.” Then, Mary came back out and took us further into their house. Immediately while walking in, the strong smell of ammonia and pee overwhelmed us and hit us in the face like a brick wall. It was so strong, that my nose and eyes began to water as my eyes turned bright pink. My knees buckled, and while trying to find my own placement within my own body, I slowly proceeded forward.  When talking further into the house, we noticed three cats and a dog on the couch, and another cat in the window. When looking over at their fireplace, they had a massive 32-gallon storage bucket filled with cat litter.  “ Oh my god, that’s the litter box ,” I thought to myself.  While Mary gave us a tour of the house, my lungs locked up and I physically couldn’t breathe. I grabbed my inhaler, took a deep inhale, and tried to keep my composure.  The deeper we went into the house, the stronger the smell of ammonia became. My nose became numb as my breathing became more and more difficult.  Then, Mary guided us to the basement where Luke, MacKenna, and I would be staying.   While walking down into the basement, I noticed that the smell of pet urine slowly dissipated, except, the basement was cold. Granted, it was in early winter, but the basement was just an empty room of concrete where you could see your own breath. We sat our bags down by a mat and looked around the room. I asked, “Just wondering Mary, how do we turn on the heat down here?” Mary smiled and said, “Well, we don’t have heat down here. If you get cold, we can grab another blanket from upstairs. If that’s not enough, we can turn on the computers that my husband uses to mine Bitcoin. They will eventually heat up the room”. She pointed to the other side of the room which had a shelf with various computers — all covered in dust.  I gritted my teeth, smiled, and told Mary that we’d all get settled and would come up when we were ready to leave.  Mary went upstairs, and I fell apart on Luke and MacKenna.  While wheezing from my asthma attack, I panicked while saying, “Bitcoin is our goddamn heat source?! I can’t cover up in one of her  blankets! There’s probably cat pee in that, too !!” MacKenna then said, “Your face turned ghost-white and your eyes turned pink the minute we walked in the house. I like pets, and I’ll even admit it’s bad in here.”  However, while trying to calm down, we all started pulling up hotel rooms for the area. Unfortunately, finding a hotel last minute in downtown proved to be too expensive. We didn’t budget for a hotel because we were supposed to stay with Mary. As for myself, if I knew I was going to need a hotel, I wouldn’t have agreed to go on this trip to begin with. I couldn’t afford it.  After failing to find a last-minute hotel, we came up with a new game plan: For all of the tea people we were going to meet in Portland, quietly explain the situation to all of them and hope that one of them would take petty on us let us stay the night with them.  I mean, it shouldn’t be too awkward, right? Just, you know, ask random strangers if three people can crash with them overnight. That’s totally normal, right?  Once we walked upstairs, we made a plan to go to a tea shop downtown and all took separate cars to our meet-up. For the rest of the day, we met up with a larger group of tea people who all came out to have tea with us. I had met various tea friends that I had known virtually for years and met them for the very first time, and it was a great experience. However, none of us could break away with anyone within the group to ask to stay with them, because Mary was always within earshot. Although she wore sunglasses and earphones everywhere, she was still aware of everything going on. As we hopped around Portland and visited various tea spots as a group, the nagging question lingered in the back of my mind: What the hell are we going to do?  Later that night, the group of us found ourselves having dinner together. The restaurant was only a block from Mary’s house, and although it was getting late, we still had no idea how to fix the issue at hand.  At the very last minute, Mary got up from the dinner table and announced that she and her husband would be returning back to the house early, and we could just meet them back there when we finished dinner.  Bingo , there’s my window of opportunity.  Once Mary and her husband left, I started asking everyone in the group, one by one, if we could stay with them.  However, one by one, others from the group gathered around to listen to the drama at hand. Eventually, the entire group surrounded us, and everyone keyed in to what was happening. The idea of keeping this issue discrete didn’t really stay discrete.  After a bit of back and forth, a fellow tea blogger announced that Luke, MacKenna, and I, could collect our things and sleep at his house. With relief, we thanked him. Our search for a place to stay was finally over.  Except, we now had to go to Mary’s house and announce to her that we would not be staying with her.  Given how she exploded when we couldn’t all take the same car to the same place, and how she bailed on food with us earlier, I was worried about how she’d react. She was now a loose cannon, after all.  That evening, Luke, MacKenna, and I went back to Mary’s house. When we walked through the door again, the smell of cat urine hit me in the face again as my lungs locked back up. Just like last time, my nose began to water as my eyes turned blot-shot red.  I held my breath, went down to the basement to grab my belongings, and came back upstairs. I sat by Mary on her couch (well, the edge of her couch — I was afraid to sit on it), looked at her right in the eye, and said, “Hey, I can’t stay here tonight. The pets… It’s all too much and my asthma can’t handle it. It’s not personal, and I’m grateful that you flew me out here. I just can’t sleep here.” Luke and MacKenna held their breath while waiting for Mary to respond. With a blank stare, she looked at me right in the eye.  After a moment of silence, and after my heart rate spiked, she finally replied, “I understand.” MacKenna, Luke, and I all sighed with relief, grabbed our belongings, and left for our new last-minute rescueBNB… Now when looking back, I realized that I had learned a few valuable life lessons from this. First, just because you’re good friends with someone online, doesn’t mean that the friendships will translate well to being friends in person. We may know certain people, but we don’t really know how they live. We don’t know how clean they are. And lastly, we don’t know how friends are going to react to certain social situations when certain awkward situations pop up. I knew Mary, and we had an incredible online friendship, but I didn’t really know her.  Second, when flying out of town and staying with a friend, budget enough money for backup that you can afford to stay in a hotel in case of any last-minute emergencies. This might already be a given, but you never know what predicament you might find yourself in until you are right in the middle of it. Like myself, I never expected to be in the middle of a cat pee-house. Now, I can look back at this memory with Luke and MacKenna, and we’ll laugh about the time we all almost got stuck at the cat-pee motel. As for my relationship with Mary? Unfortunately, our friendship didn’t last very long. Months after the visit, Mary sent several messages accusing me of faking my asthma to get out of spending time with her. After that accusation, I decided to not fight with Mary and decided to not argue with her. She had problems of her own, however, I didn’t have the energy to respond to her accusations about faking my asthma. I eventually just disappeared from her life and disappeared until she and I became strangers again.  The last time I heard, she moved into another house, as their old house had to be condemned and leveled. I think apartments were going to be built over it. I don’t know. I always wondered how Mary and her husband could afford to buy a house because they both didn’t work.  Either way, you have to do what’s best for your own health. You have to take care of yourself (and your asthma), and although it might create awkwardness between you and your friends, you’re the one who has to live inside of your own body, after all. The right friends will be understanding.  Thank you, reader, for being understanding! Although I’m not going to awkwardly ask if I could crash at your house last minute to run away from an ammonia-stained condemned house, just know that anytime I’m in your city, I’ll happily do whatever I can to sit and share tea with you. We can create our own memories, and if we are caught in an awkward situation, then let's promise that we’ll laugh about it later. Until next week, ~ Cody Wade Aka The Oolong Drunk “Blissfully Tea Drunk”