• The Oolong Drunk

This Tea is a Weapon of Mass Destruction!

Hello hello!

Many teas can be so aggressive and strong, they almost feel like they're as heavy as a bomb. Sometimes, these teas can even be the bomb diggity! Anyways, when you run into a tea that’s explosive in the mouth, and leaves you destroyed in its wake, you can definitely say that it’s a weapon of mass destruction. Now, when looking at newcomer Bitter Leaf Teas, you wouldn't suspect that someone as welcoming and as friendly would unleash something as deadly and as intoxicating for their puer line up, would they? Well, you’re wrong — they totally would. Bitter Leaf Teas released WMD — a Mansa sheng puer that sold out so quickly, barely anyone knew it existed. However, I still have a sample of WMD that I snagged before popularity cleared this tea’s stock. So here’s why this tea is a weapon of mass destruction, and why it should be appearing on your navigational radar…

Steeps 1 - 4

For this session, I used 4g of tea in a 60mml vessel, and brewed it with water at a temp of 185ºf. At first, the body of roasted hay swam across the base of the tongue, and left a slight bitter aftertaste at the tip of the tongue. After a few more steeps, the base of roasted hay left behind the tasting notes of green grapes and berries on the sides of the mouth, while leaving a lasting sweetness at the back of the throat. As the steeps continued, the tea became heavier and burlier.

Steeps 5 - 8

The texture of WMD Mansa became explosive in thickness, as the lubricating based liquor polished up on its tasting notes. The base of hay became sweeter and denser, and the sweetness came together into a nice feeling of green grapes in the side of the mouth. With the further infusions, I could already feel this tea warming up my insides as its power quickly raced to the tip of my head. It was evident that WMD was complex, predominantly due to the fact that the body carried a wide array of tasting notes, carefully across every square inch of space in the mouth.

Steeps 9 - 14

This tea was definitely working on its destruction to bring down my cognizance. The intoxicating liquor kept working its strength on my mind and body, along with the progressing tasting notes that it held. WMD Mansa’s tasting notes of hay were slowly fading out, as a creamy texture took its place. Along with this, the taste of green grapes continued to grow like a mushroom cloud in the back of the throat, and left behind a radiating footprint of stevia that seemed to clear out everything in its path. After the fourteenth steep though, this tea had made its target and that target was me! It was time to end the session, and start recovering from the drunken stupor that I was left in…


WMD Mansa is a tea whose energy could measure up to the energy of a leading politician when facing controversy on twitter. This weapon of mass destruction definitely destroyed any sobriety that it came into contact with. WMD is a tea that is complex in a very special way, and is accessible for many people. However, one thing that stood out about this tea is how strong of a powerhouse it was, and after a year of settling, this tea was definitely ready to unleash. Usually, teas with this level of energy sometimes lack the wildly delicious flavor profiles that weaker teas usually have. However, WMD Mansa was just as sweet and flavorful as it was eruptive.

In conclusion, WMD Mansa was one of Bitter Leaf Tea’s best offerings in 2016. Subsequently, WMD Mansa won the award for Best Sheng Puer in 2016, and blew up the other competitors in the same category. Although WMD is currently sold out, there’s a meteoric possibility that it’ll make a comeback in 2017. Next time this weapon of mass destruction makes its way into the black market, keep your navigational radar set to a higher frequency, because this is one forceful tea that you do not want to miss…


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