- The Oolong Drunk
Battle of the Beengs - Crimson Lotus Tea Edition
Usually when I review tea I describe its strengths and weaknesses, then finalize the review by concluding if the tea is worth ordering or not. However, today is going to be very different. In today’s review I’m going to put two of Crimson Lotus Tea’s beengs against each other. While these teas are undeniably great, one will definitely stand out. If we put Jingmai Love and Beneath an Emerald Sea in the ring against each other, who will come out as victor? Lets find out!
Before I send these teas into the ring, they must start training at the crack of dawn. Both teas woke up to a quick rinse and was given a few minutes to wake up. I used 6.5g of each tea in a 100ml vessel and used a water temp of 180º. Jingmai Love was awake and ready to start its training.
Jingmai Love started its pre-workout steeps with a light vegetal body that carried a warm undertone. As this tea kept waking up to the third and fourth infusions, it kept revealing its strengths that made up its palate - a broth like base that made the tastebuds droll as the tea glided blissfully down the back of my throat. Its muscles were savory as it kept pushing past its pre-workout, and left a light bitterness at the tip of the tongue — which arose due to the immense strength that this tea was waiting to release.
Beneath an Emerald Sea started its pre-workout steeps by knocking everything over that stood in its way. It entered the room with a heavy herb infused vegetal body that was so thick, it overpowered everything in sight. As the Emerald Sea continued its pre-workout, it kept getting more and more oily and left a slight bitter undertone. However, unlike it’s opponent, it had a slight layer of tartness that left a fruity impression that Emerald Sea quickly hid away, as it didn't want its opponent to think it was anything less than powerful.
Steeps 5 - 8
Emerald Sea moved from its pre-workout to its actual workout. Emerald Sea’s routine included jogging, weight lifting, and practicing its moves on the punching bag. Emerald Sea did this by coming off more oily than it did before, which led to it unleashing an immense herb like tasting note that was too strong for the tastebuds to handle. All of Emerald Sea’s characteristics started to morph into each other which made it rather difficult to detect each and every individual flavor. Emerald Sea gave its workout an oil and broth like finish as it made its way to the arena to start planning its strategy
Jingmai Love took a different route than Emerald Sea, as it started its strength training on the lighter side to build more stamina. It started its strength training with a broth like green body that filled every corner of the room that it was in. The further Jingmai Love was pushed, the rougher it became as it slid past the tastebuds leaving a warm blanket over the tongue. Jingmai Love took an unexpected turn in its weight training by releasing a waxy texture that only made itself know when it was pushed past the minute and a half mark. Jingmai Love was starting to unleash something fierce as it contained all of it’s energy into something unexpectedly strong, which was evident by the faint herby and bitter drops of sweat that it left behind, as it packet up its gym equipment and started to strategize a game-plan.
Steeps 9 - 12
Jingmai Love and Emerald Sea made its way to the boxing arena, which was full of prospectors that were awaiting a match of a lifetime. Promoters started placing bets on each of the teas, and since both were newcomers this year nobody really knew what to expect. Emerald Sea and Jingmai Love made it to the arena and started preparing for the upcoming fight, and finished up last minute business before taking center stage.
Now, Emerald Sea started to mellow out in the dressing room as it released the bulk of its energy earlier on during its workout. It was light, smooth, but not as sweet as before. Although Emerald Sea still held onto its green body, everything was disappearing as it reached its twelfth steep. On the other hand, Jingmai Love was still releasing a great amount of energy in these later steeps, which only kept growing its strength and power. When Jingmai reached its twelfth steep, it was still able to keep going and notes of a thick and herb-like coating still present. Yet, due to its stamina by holding out on releasing everything at once, Jingmai was able to hold onto its flavors until the 16th steep, when a light vegetal green tasting note was the only thing this tea was able to give.
The Ring -
Jingmai Love and Emerald Sea were called out into the ring. They both entered the arena as the audience roared with excitement. They made their way past the judges, head held high and confident they’d defeat each other. They promptly put on their boxing gloves, put on their head gear, and climbed over the ropes into the ring. Both teas stood as they watched the announcer make his way to the center of the ring with microphone in hand.
“We have Beneath the Emerald Sea weighing in at 200g a beeng, and Jingmai Love weighing in at the same. Tonight, we are going to witness the most anticipated event in the history of professional sheng productions, for the heavy weight sheng championship!” the announcer shouted with enthusiasm and excitement.
“Are you rrreeeeaaaaddddyyyyy?” He continued. The audience went wild with excitement as the announcer built anticipation.
“For the thousand in attendance, and the millions watching around the world. From the capital city of your tea vessels, lets get ready to RRUUMMBBLLEE!!!!”
The crowd was ecstatic, which only made Jingmai Love and Emerald Sea even more pumped to take each other out. Then, without a moment to spare, the bell rang and both sheng went to the middle of the ring.
Both teas went at each other as Jingmai Love started to jab at Emerald Sea. Emerald Sea defended itself by holding its fists to his face, then caught Jingmai Love by surprise when he threw his arm around and punched him at the side of his jaw. It was a clear uppercut! Jingmai was unable to block the punch and quickly stumbled his way backwards. He clearly underestimated Emerald Sea’s power. Emerald Sea kept coming at Jingmai at full force as Jingmai was up against the ropes with his gloves up - parrying the punches as they came.
Jingmai was too blindsided to barely make a move. He tried his best to throw any jabs in at Emerald Sea to try and rise above him, but at this point it seemed pointless. All he could do is wait Emerald Sea out. As Jingmai Love’s patience grew thinner and thinner, he had to think of something to get Emerald Sea off of him. Then, he hooked Emerald Sea on Emerald Sea’s ribcage which took him aback. Emerald Sea started to lose breath and was growing weak, but regained its breath and went back towards Jingmai Love, threw a cross with his stronger right arm, and knocked out Jingmai Love.
The referee made his way to Jingmai Love as Emerald Sea went to the neutral corner, and waited for a response out of his opponent. The referee bent down by Jingmai Love and started counting down to eight.
“One. Two. Thee. Four…” the referee shouted as everyone in the audience held their breath, waiting for Jingmai Love to get up.
This is it. I have to get up, Jingmai Love thought to himself.
You trained too hard for this.
Jingmai Love took a deep breath.
Jingmai Love raised his head, slowly rose up, and tried to get a good balance. Jingmai Love took a deep breath as the audience cheered him on. He went back to his corner and waited for the bell to signal both fighters to go back into their match. “Time to take this motherfucker down,” Jingmai Love said to himself as the bell rang, and charged to Emerald Sea.
Emerald Sea was met with a newly recharged Jingmai Love as Jingmai Love kept coming at him with punch after punch. However, due to emitting all of his energy earlier in the round, Emerald Sea was too weak to fight back. Jingmai Love took a step back and waited for Emerald Sea to deliver a punch back. Strangely enough, he didn't. Emerald Sea was too weak to respond, but still didn't want to give up. Emerald Sea balled up his fist and took his last swing at Jingmai Love. Due to exhaustion, Emerald Sea barely grazed Jingmai Love’s chin and swung into open air. The weight of his arm swung him around as he fell to the ground — too weak to get back up.
The crowd was going wild as the announcer stepped into the ring, walked over to Jingmai Love, and shouted into his microphone, “we have a winner!” The announcer grabbed Jingmai Love’s wrist and quickly raised it in the air, as everyone in the stadium cheered so loud you couldn't even hear the announcer. Jingmai Love was so overcome with joy that he was almost in shock. He couldn't believe it. I’m the champion Jingmai Love thought to himself as he stood tall, full of pride after winning the match against Emerald Sea…